The Hellion425 @thehellion425 - Tumblr Blog

eelpatrickharris-deactivated202

“guns don’t kill people, people kill people”

when’s the last time you saw someone strangle 58 people in less than 15 minutes, steve?

whatafuckinnerd

starbuckers

millstoney

hoodtranquility-deactivated2021

electriccucumber

unemployment drops :)

sickpage

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN

t-hy-lla

yes hello i am here to learn geometries

girlwithalessonplan

That crow is more prepared than some of my students.

2-steks-an-1-rokc-deactivated20

You’ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. There’s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL.

vampirepunch-deactivated2015040

THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM

avatarofnightmares-deactivated2

Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans.

dduane

Corvids. Who KNOWS. :)

anagrammatical-blog

Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didn’t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are.

elusivebrew

they still shit all over the place and eat garbage

jumpingjacktrash

ok but so do we

m4ge-deactivated20210331

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

90stvqueen

you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”

antidarkmattermaker

I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.

businesscasualprincess

You never saw her again because after 19 espresso shots, she now vibrates too fast to be perceived by the human eye.

pheuthe

19 Shots of Espresso: An Alternative Flash Origin Story (9 Shots of Espresso: An Autobiography of the Last Time Master)

unexplained-events

In Seattle, Washington, an aged and allegedly “haunted” coke machine has been in the same spot for over fifteen years, but despite its outward appearance the machine is fully functional. In fact, the machine has always worked. Some of the drinks it dispenses are normal Coke products, but some are products that are no longer on the market and don’t exist any more. Some of the buttons are labeled as a “mystery” and give a random product when pushed. The business closest to it, a locksmith, state that they have never witnessed anyone restocking the machine at any time, No one ever has, and the mystery of it has attracted tons of people to test out the machine for themselves. It’s also pretty interesting to note that the prices for the sodas have risen over time, recently being from 55 cents to 75. I guess ghost machines have to pay the bills somehow.

sebastiansource

adurot

That is not funny That is not cute It is animal abuse BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT CHOCOLATE BIRDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE COATED IN CHOCOLATE Why the fuck do you think birds who get coated in oil die? It’s for the same goddamn reason. You idiots can have all the chuckles you want over the fact that that poor animal is “living the dream” but I hope you also know that it probably died from that. And if you still find it funny then I genuinely do not want to associate with you and can only wish upon you the most the most painful and awful death imaginable.

silver-tongues-blog

I just want to point out that no one is forcing that bird into the chocolate no one pulled the damn thing in Inf act, it fully appears to be waddling into the foundain by its damn self Calm the hell down chocolate is not the same thing as chocolate Its just a bird making a mistake and its fucking funny It’s not animal cruelty unless someone was holding that bird at gunpoint fucking christ

officialprydonchapter-deactivat

Listen here cum-slut, I bet you 5 million dollars that you don’t own a bird. But guess what? I own 7. And I can tell you right now that a bird would never just walk into something like a chocolate fountain. They’ll rarely walk directly into water. But say that your idiotic theory is correct. Say it did actually walk into it. That animal still probably died. Is that still funny to you? Do you still get your kicks out of knowing that that bird was probably terrified and opening its mouth to scream in that last panel? And if you say yes then you seriously disgust me as a human being.

hornycritical

God bless the people in the notes who think this is an actual criticism of DuckTales (2017).