The Hope Project

Finding Hope in the Messy Middle

[thehopeprojectcollective]

Lost Hope and the Blessing of the Bottom….

(A true story).

There was a time not so long ago when I think it is safe to say that I had lost my hope.

Perhaps time should be plural. I don’t want to give the impression that this was a one time thing.

I was a great sleeper all my life until my hormones didn’t get the memo that just because we were pregnant doesn’t mean that we are not allowed to sleep.

I figured after baby came things would go back to normal, and I would no longer have to be a victim of what has been recorded in history as literal torture:

SLEEP DEPRIVATION.

And here we are, a decade later. And still every night my brain wakes my body and every system in me is on high alert when the rest of the world is dreaming the night away.

BRAIN: “Are we in danger? We feel certain we’re unsafe. Let’s stay wide awake just to be sure. We don’t want to fall back asleep and risk being swept under a tsunami or pummeled by a mountain lion.”

HEART: “Ugh, I don’t know how many more false alarms I can take. For the nine BILLIONTH time NO the sky did not look like it was preparing for the rapture.”

SOUL: “I know God is a healer. Jesus did many miracles. But why doesn’t he heal ME? Ten years is a long time to suffer. Wait, faith. I should have faith. Well I do, But I also have questions. And doubt. And fear. A little resentment if I’m being honest. I mean who is going to hear this anyway? It’s 3 am.”

BODY: “Oh will you three just get it over with? We all know that there is no danger here tonight. Just like last night, and the night before that, and alllllll of the nights before that! Come on people. Just relax. Let’s try to go back to sleep.”

This has been my battle nearly every night for a decade.

I still believe God heals. And some days I believe He has forgotten me, or that He accidentally muted my channel, and on my worst days — that I am unworthy of healing and this insomnia will surely get the best of me.

I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have any answers…no not one.

But I can tell you this: Hope is expensive. There have been times that I’ve been at the altar and many strong prayer warriors gathered around me, contending for my healing. Strangers who didn’t even know me. Fighting for my healing. Those nights I would go home, certain that the warm fuzzy feeling I felt in my body while they prayed meant I was finally healed, and I would go to bed with hope.

But then, like a broken record, 3:00 am reared its ugly head and to my disappointment I was wide awake.

Did the prayers not work?

Did I not believe hard enough? Did I doubt and cancel my miracle?

The more I try to figure it out, the less sense it makes.

But I can tell you there were times when I simply could not AFFORD to hope — because the rollercoaster of hope and disappointment had whipped me around too many times. I couldn’t take another beating. It wasn’t worth it.

Hope is expensive, and I left mine behind when the pain of Disappointment became far too great, outweighing any glimmer of hope and snuffing it out like a camper when the road trip is over.

Better to be hopeless and nothing change than to hope change is coming and be constantly let down.

I don’t know if anyone really knows what is at rock bottom. And why is the bottom made of rocks? Since we are having a forced landing there, might I suggest something softer to break the fall? Memory foam perhaps?

I digress…. I have a point. Pinky promise.

I say all this to say: There is, however, a blessing at the bottom.

Most people don’t see it this way.

But I have lived at the bottom of the barrel for a long time.

It’s cold. It’s lonely. It’s agonizing. It’s dark. It hurts. And you feel like no one on the planet would understand the gravity of your suffering.

But there is One who does.

One who suffered to pay the price for the sins of mankind.

Even Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?”

So I decided to cut myself some slack if for an hour or two on the really bad days I consider becoming an atheist and I wonder if heaven is just something that Christians made up to not have to be so scared about death.

Cuz let’s be real — nobody has ever died and lived to tell the story.

I mean, nobody but Jesus.

And when I find myself at the bottom, with no way out…

When the night lingers on and there is no sun on the horizon…

When all seems lost…

It is not the end.

There is a blessing ay the bottom, my friend. And that is that when you are there, there is only one thing to do: LOOK UP.

And oh what wonders will your eyes behold when they stop staring at the circumstances and start gazing on the creator of the universe!

[thehopeprojectcollective]

Toxic Love vs. Healthy Love

There are so many things I find fascinating about the human condition...especially when you throw childhood trauma into the mix.

My parents fought a lot. They never showed affection. Eventually when they divorced, it was more of a relief to the family than a surprise.

That's sad. We all deserve to grow up in warm, loving homes, where we are accepted, allowed to feel, taught how to cope, and unconditionally loved.

Unfortunately, that's not reality for most of us.

There’s a strange comfort in the familiar - even if it's toxic. We feel at home in chaos, and when everything is going well, we might even stir up fights just because it's what we know.

We don't know being fully loved and fully accepted.

We don't know what it's like to give someone all of us, and have them happily embrace us.

Healthy can even seem boring sometimes.

Toxic is unpredictable. It’s intense. It’s a form of a dopamine rush we hate to admit.

Healthy love, on the other hand, can feel mundane. Quiet. Steady. Uneventful. We fall into the same routines that leave us feeling unappreciated and invisible.

And when you’re not used to being loved well, that kind of love can feel threatening.

So we push it away. I believe there is something deeper underneath that - maybe fear...Fear that if we let them in, they will eventually abandon us and we don't want to bear the pain of having and then losing love.

So we push away the people who show up, who ask how we are and actually wait for the answer. We create distance to protect ourselves from rejection. We pick fights and over react and say hurtful words just to test their love. To see if they stay.

And instead of putting effort into meaningful relationships, we chase fantasy. We find people who will NEVER love us back, and we put everything we have into convincing them that we are worthy.

But their entire world is themselves - and you probably won't be the one to change that.

We chase people who keep us guessing. People who feel exciting because they’re unavailable. People who don’t really see us—but make us feel alive for a moment. The kind of people who take more than they give. The kind of people who, if we’re honest, probably wouldn’t attend our funeral.

When I was in my addiction, I genuinely believed my drug dealer was my “best friend.”

That sentence still stings.

At the time, it made sense. He was always there. He answered my calls. He gave me what I thought I needed. In a season where my world was shrinking, that consistency felt like loyalty. It felt like connection.

But it wasn’t friendship.

It took time—sobriety, distance, clarity—to see the truth: he didn’t love me. He didn’t even know me. He didn’t care if I lived a full life or disappeared quietly. Our relationship was transactional, not relational. And calling it “friendship” was just a way to make the emptiness feel less obvious.

Toxic love thrives on illusion. Healthy love survives the light.

Toxic love says, “I want you when it benefits me.” Healthy love says, “I care about you even when it costs me something.”

And here’s the hard part: when you’ve lived in survival mode for a long time, toxic love can feel safer than healthy love. Because healthy love asks you to be honest. To be seen. To believe you’re worthy of care without having to earn it through pain.

That kind of love requires healing. And healing is uncomfortable.

But it’s also the thing that finally breaks the pattern.

If you find yourself pushing away the people who want to love you well and chasing those who can’t—or won’t—this isn’t a moral failure. It’s a signal. A sign that something in you learned to confuse intensity with intimacy, chaos with connection.

And that can be unlearned.

Healthy love won’t feel like fireworks at first. It will feel like peace.

And peace, when you’ve never had it, can feel unfamiliar—but it’s real.

Don't beat yourself up if you've chased emotionally unavailable relationships. Use it as an opportunity to take a glimpse into your own soul and ask, "Do I truly love myself?" "Do I believe I am worthy of love?" and if not, do some serious soul searching and figure out why.

If you want a daily reminder of your worth, go HERE!

[thehopeprojectcollective]

Death isn't the answer

death isn’t the answer.

Sometimes it feels like it is. When the pain feels endless, when you’re tired of trying, when everything inside you just wants the noise to stop.

But death isn’t the answer. It’s not rest. It’s not relief. It’s not peace.

What you’re really longing for is an ending to the suffering, not an ending to yourself.

There is still breath in your lungs for a reason. Still moments ahead you haven’t lived. Still love you haven’t received. Still hope finding its way toward you—even if it feels impossibly far right now.

You don’t have to have the answers today. You don’t have to be strong. You just have to stay.

If this season feels heavy, let this be your reminder: Your story is not over. And the fact that you’re still here means something.

Stay.

TOMORROW NEEDS YOU.

Wear the message. Share the message!

We just dropped our "Tomorrow Needs You" shirt! Grab it HERE!

[thehopeprojectcollective]

Why We Let Toxic People Stay

Sometimes the hardest goodbyes don’t happen out loud.

They happen quietly — in the moments when you realize staying costs you more than leaving ever could.

I am not speaking this hypothetically…I have been guilty of sending a three am text that I later regretted many times.

I have pushed away the good people who want good for me and obsessed over the toxic people who might not even go to my funeral if I died.

So why?

Why do we do things like this?

Why do we allow toxic people to stay?

I have a few thoughts…

1. We don’t keep toxic people in our lives because we’re weak. We do it because letting go is scary.

The fear of the unknown is real. And accepting painful treatment can feel safer than losing someone, even when we know it hurts us.

We get so intertwined in these relationships that we truly don’t know who we would be without them. And not knowing who you are is terrifying…much more so than losing yourself

Even when something hurts, it’s predictable. And predictability can feel comforting when you’ve spent a lifetime bracing for impact.

2. Sometimes loneliness feels worse than being treated like garbage. Rejection has left us bruised and afraid of having to endure that pain all over again.

Empty space can feel heavier than being misunderstood.

And sometimes — this is the part we don’t like to admit — they make us feel good. Just enough.

A kind word after cruelty.

Affection after distance.

Hope without consistency.

We stay attached not to who they are, but to who we believe they could be.

Sometimes we are even delusional enough to think that we can fix them (fails every time).

But potential isn’t a promise, and love without safety slowly erodes the soul.

I’ve lived this. It’s the truth.

Many of us were taught to endure.

To be understanding.

To forgive quickly.

To minimize our needs in the name of love or making people happy.

But compassion without boundaries becomes self-abandonment.

Leaving means grieving.

Not just the person — but the future we imagined, the effort we poured in, the version of ourselves who kept trying.

I don’t know too many people who would say,”Oh I just love those seasons where I ugly-cried myself to sleep every single night for months…”

If we let them stick around, we don’t have to face the weight of grief.

Worse, sometimes we prolong the process by letting them go, grieving, and then in a moment of weakness we let them in again and eventually have to face reality again:

We are better off without them.

We know, but it’s hard to let go.

Peace can feel strange when chaos is all you’ve known.

Choosing yourself isn’t cruel.

It’s honest.

I’m not Ike to give unsolicited advice, but if any of this resonates with you, let me say this softly and gently.

The problem isn’t that you love them too much to let them go.

The problem is you love what they do for you…and you don’t want to have to go without that need being met.

Friend, there are needs we have that only God can satisfy.

Read that again.

Every other well will leave us more thirsty than when we first came.

Only Jesus gives us living water.

You can try to get your cup filled by people, things, accomplishments, success, money, substances…and they may satisfy but it’s only temporary.

The real question to ask is, “What need does this person meet and why am I so afraid to let them go?”

If you’re in a season of letting go — or even just beginning to question what you’ve tolerated — I want to give you an invitation.

When you think of the person you could be a year from now, if you loved yourself enough to make the hard choices for your health and for your future, what one word comes to mind?

Perhaps it is “SURRENDER,” or “COURAGE.”

Maybe it is “WORTHY” or “ENOUGH.”

Sometimes we need a tangible reminder of the goal we are aiming for. It can help us to endure the process on hard days.

Whatever your word is, I make custom engraved bracelets that serve as a gentle reminder of your worth and purpose.

A word that reminds you of what you deserve.

A word you can return to when doubt creeps in.

Peace.

Worthy.

Enough.

Free.

Safe.

Beloved.

Brave.

If you want to learn more, you can see some examples HERE! On my Etsy Shop.

Sometimes healing doesn’t start with a dramatic exit.

Sometimes it starts with a word that helps us to take not a whole new path, but just a single step — and the courage to believe that you deserve love.

Cheers to all the healthy love that you deserve!

-P 🫶🏽

⸻

[thehopeprojectcollective]

Who else is in their “Let Them” season?!?

[thehopeprojectcollective]

Fight, so your children don’t have to.

[thehopeprojectcollective]

If someone wants to walk out of your life, let them!

[evamacdesigns]

 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6 🫶🏾🙏🏾

Trust the journey and trust His process.🫶🏾🙏🏾

www.evamacdesigns.com

@evamacdesigns

#evamacdesigns #god #christian #godisgood #jesus #jesuslives #jesusquotes #godfirst #proverbs #proverbs31woman #amen #prayer #worshiphim #worshipmusic #godbless #christianquotes #christianpost #christiangirl #godsaves #graphicdesigner #socialmediamanager #virtualassistant #christianwoman #bible #worship #saved #blessings

[chadnathanmotivation]

Don't panic. God's got you!

[thehopeprojectcollective]

Everyone loves the mountain top — but most of our growth happens in the valley!

[f-like-m]

[thehopeprojectcollective]

God is with you - So GO!!

[jessica9love]

[thehopeprojectcollective]

Pray BIG! Because nothing is impossible for God!

[blessedbeyondallbelief]

[thehopeprojectcollective]

The hardest part is waiting!

[thehopeprojectcollective]

If God Is Calling You To Something Else, He Will Provide A Way.

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t hearing the call — it’s trusting what comes after.

We start to wonder: How will I make this work? What if I fail? What if I’m not enough?

But here’s the thing: God never calls you to something just to leave you stranded halfway. If He’s asking you to step into something new, it means He’s already gone ahead of you. The provision is already in place. The right doors, the right timing, the right people — they’re all part of the path He’s carving out.

Obedience doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means having enough faith to take the next step, even when you can’t see the whole staircase.

So if your heart feels unsettled where you are, if there’s a holy nudge pulling you somewhere else… lean in. Trust that He will provide the way forward.

Because He always does. 🕊️

Isaiah 43:19

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

[thehopeprojectcollective]

Proverbs 23:7

“As a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes”

Be very careful about what you let stick around in your mind.

A wise person once said, you can’t stop a bird from flying over your head. But you CAN stop them from building a nest there.

[thehopeprojectcollective]

“What if I sin?”

Spoiler: you will. We all do. Romans 3:23 says “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

“Have sinned” = past tense

“Fall short” = present tense

But here’s the truth no one tells you loud enough:

➡️ Your sin doesn’t shock God. He knew what you would do, and He still semt His Son to die for you.

➡️ Your failure isn’t the end of your story. God is the God of redemption. He can turn even the worst of your mistakes into something beautiful.

➡️ Grace is bigger than guilt. It’s hard to fathom God’s unending grace, because our human minds want a measure. Like “you can go this far only…” But God’s grace is immeasurable. His grace is generous and scandalous.

Romans 8:1 reminds us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” God doesn’t cancel you when you fall. He calls you back.

So what if you sin?

→ You get back up.

→ You run to Jesus, not away from Him.

→ You remember that His mercy is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22–23).

Sin doesn’t get the last word. Grace does. 🕊️✨ Romans 8:1 reminds us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” God doesn’t cancel you when you fall. He calls you back.

So what if you sin?

→ You get back up.

→ You run to Jesus, not away from Him.

→ You remember that His mercy is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22–23).

Sin doesn’t get the last word. Grace does. 🕊️✨

[jesuschristisgod]

Isaiah 40:29 states, "He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength."

[blessedbeyondallbelief]