Pepper Potts

"Who's the hot mess now?" [RP BLOG]

[thehotmessnow]

“I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires, including occasionally taking out the trash. Will that be all?”

Independent and private portrayal of Pepper Potts.

MCU-based and slightly selective.

Mobile links are here.

Est. 11/20

[builtmythrone]

women of the MCU appreciation

pepper potts [4/?]

[dailymarvelgifs]

IRON MAN 3 (2013) dir. Shane Black

[thehotmessnow]

hyperverbalbillionaire

▼          Tony couldn’t possibly have expressed how much it hurt that Pepper didn’t say anything at all when he brought up how he thought they were building a life together, warts and all. He quickly backpedaled when he realized she wasn’t going to address it. It was easier to pull back, curl himself inward so it wouldn’t hurt as much. The message was perfectly clear: He’d been wrong as hell.

When she told him not to go destroying anything, her inflection pointed, it actually took him a second to realize that it was a euphemism. It hurt but it also pissed him off that she thought he couldn’t keep it in his pants until this “break” either ended or became permanent. His track record of sleeping around was one thing but he’d never cheated on anyone he’d had anything even approaching a relationship with—much less what he had with Pepper, which he’d thought was going to be forever.

When he got upset about it, she was quick to say that it wasn’t what she’d meant, even going so far as to accuse him of being the one to come up with that on his own. Well, now that was low.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You practically put air quotes around it! Don’t give me that shit,” he spat, his tone low and harsh, though he was starting to slur a little after his third whiskey.

Then she told him she was only worried about the marble floors she’d just dropped her heavy-ass bags on from the second floor. She said the rest wasn’t her business.

Whether he fucked some college-age barista from Starbucks wasn’t her business.

She might as well have stabbed him right in the heart with a fucking butcher knife about a hundred times. I would’ve hurt less and probably would’ve been less destructive to his mental state at the moment.

He felt fat tears forming in his eyes, threatening to overflow his lower lids. “Wow,” he said, running a hand over his goatee as he tried desperately to blink back those tears. “That’s, uh—” He sniffled and shook his head, words eluding him. He hadn’t felt this suffocatingly hurt in a very long time.

Of course, he guessed that also opened it up for her to date other people too if that was how little she cared about figuring this out. He stared into the amber dregs of whiskey in his glass as if it could give him some sort of answer to how he could fix this.

“I thought you said a break,” he said after a beat, his voice low and rough but no longer angry. It was flat and defeated. “This is starting to sound more like a break-up to me.” If that was what she really wanted, she didn’t have to lie. It was worse than if she just made it a clean break now instead of devastating him again in a few weeks or months.

He poured another glass of whiskey as she clip-clopped her way out across the marble she was suddenly so concerned about. He figured that was it, they were over. She was making it really hard to believe that she wanted anything less than a permanent breakup if she didn’t even give a shit if he went around banging anyone who said yes.

When he heard her coming back, much more slowly than she’d left the room, he had no idea what she was doing. Maybe she did want to make it official? Maybe she just wanted to get in the last word? He had to believe that she had cared about him, even if that was in question now, but he still wasn’t sure where things were going as she came closer to him. He was sitting on a barstool and swiveled around to drag his eyes up to hers as she just kept moving in.

Maybe she was changing her mind? That was clearly the sound of the very last hopeful voice in the back of his brain piping up.

When she slid her arms around him, he just sat there for a few seconds, not sure what to do. He felt betrayed, in truth, and accepting this seemed like a risk he couldn’t afford to take when he had no idea what came after this.

But his body overrode his brain and he found himself sliding his arms tightly around her as more tears blurred his vision.

“Pep,” he murmured, his breath hitching in his chest. “Please.”

That one word was all the begging his pride would allow. Maybe it wasn’t just his pride but his sense of self-preservation holding him back too. If he fell down on his knees and begged only to have to watch her walk out, he didn’t think he’d survive it.

To say that Pepper’s emotions weren’t in overdrive and barreling toward the loss of control would be a lie, but in some odd way, she felt a blanket of peace around her. She desired nothing more than to take Tony along on her quest for understanding, but unfortunately, that was something that they each had to do on their own. It sounded simple for two people to figure out just where they stood as a team, but being with someone who practically ran on batteries slightly complicated things.

She wasn’t a terrible person for going through with what she set out to do that day. She didn’t find enjoyment in seeing him on the verge of breaking, mentally nor physically, but current sadness was a small price to pay in exchange for not sitting around helpless and watching Tony deteriorate.

She was no stranger to a warm embrace with Tony, but what she wasn’t accustomed to was how long they held onto each other like there was simply nothing else. It felt like the world had stopped; no superhuman duties, no Avengers, just the two of them wrapped up in each other. It was heart-wrenching to know that having him to herself like in that exact moment just wasn’t reality, and neither was her ability to keep him out of harm’s way. She worried for him, always, and that feeling would follow her no matter what.

Pepper felt her lungs inflate as she carefully loosened her grip around him. She didn’t break the physical contact with him all at once, but rather smoothed her hands up his back and rested them on his tense shoulders. Her fingertips then trailed along the sides of his neck as if to memorize the shape before falling to rest at her sides. She took a single step back as if to silently tell him that it was time and carefully freed herself of not only the physical hold, but the mental one, too.

“Stay alive for me.”

Those words held more meaning to her over the span of their relationship than he would ever be aware of. To be the person inside of the suit is one thing, but from the outside looking in, being in no control over the sometimes irrational decisions that were made was no walk in the park. She found herself afraid to close her eyes at times because she was blinded by fear, for in the blink of an eye, everything could change. Luck didn’t always have to follow the suit of iron, and maybe someday, it would leave her where she just couldn’t bear the thought of being; hovering over Tony’s corpse.

A break, by definition, is a pause or separation. She was going to try in every way she knew how to utilize it from every angle, while keeping every intention of picking up where they left off and taking a different road in the right direction. Nonetheless, as she backed away in what seemed like slow motion, her mind still mentally captured a final picture of Tony, for she couldn’t rule out it being the last time she would see him as the same person she left.

[leneemusing]

shippy memes for you hoes

“ i had a dream about you. ”

“ i’ve never cared about anyone the way i care about you. ”

“ i know it’s not fair to ask you to wait for me, but i can’t bear the thought of seeing you with someone else.  ”

“ i’m not really good at this sort of thing. i never really had much luck with relationships before but i wanna make it work. i want us to work. ”

“ i love you. you don’t have to say anything, i just thought you should know. ”

“  i do care about you i’m just. i’m not good at talking about it. ”

“ i didn’t like seeing you with them. ”

“ you’re my person. you’ll always be the one i go to. ”

“ i could have lost you today! do you know what that would have done to me? ”

“ do you even know what you do to me? ”

“ i can’t stop thinking about you.  ”

“ you’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met. ”

“ i don’t deserve you, but i want you anyway. ”

“ you’re safe with me, you know that right? ”

“ please just tell me how you feel. ”

“ just say the words. tell me you want me and i’m yours. ”

“ you’re always there. i didn’t used to see it before, but i do now. every time i’ve ever needed someone, you were there.  ”  

“ you had a dream about me? ”

“ i guess i always kinda had a little bit of a crush on you. ”

“ you thought i never noticed you, but i did. i always saw you. ”

“ oh my god please don’t tell me you tried to make breakfast again, the stove hasn’t recovered since last time. ”

“ you waited for me? ”

“ i was always kind of hoping we’d give it a shot one day.  ”

“ you were always my maybe, ya know? ‘maybe they’d finally ask me out.’ ‘maybe when i wasn’t the one looking, they were noticing me too.’ i know it’s silly, but. you were always in the back of my mind. ”

“ oh god you’re really gonna do the whole rocks against the window at midnight boombox thing aren’t you? ”

“ i’m gonna wait for you, as long as it takes. ”

“ loving you saved me. ”

“ why me? out of everyone you could’ve chose.  ”

“ i’ve always loved you. ”

“ i know it’s late, but i just needed someone and. i guess you always answer when i call.  ”

“ i brought pizza and wine and a horrible movie so in the words of rory gilmore, i’m ready to wallow now. ”

“ you didn’t have to come ya know? i’m glad you did though. ”

“ if we could run away together and go anywhere, where would you take me? ”

“ what are you doing here? it’s the middle of the night. ”

“ i dont want to go back to how we used to be. i want more. i want you. ”

“ you’ve had every piece of my heart since the moment i met you. ”

“ why is it your always the one to pick up the pieces every time my heart breaks? ”

“ are you gonna keep looking at me like that or are you actually gonna kiss me? ”

“ i’m gonna marry you one day. ”

“ i used to think about what it’d be like if we got together. ”

“ yes, of course i love you, you idiot. ”

“ just stay this time. stay for me. ”

“ don’t you dare give up on us. ”

“ i always come running back to you. i can’t help it. ”

“ you deserve someone who always puts you first. ”

“ you were never my second choice. ”

 “ they don’t deserve you. and i’m not— i’m not tryna be that asshole that says i do. but sure as hell would never hurt you like that. ”

“ i’m never gonna let you go.  ”

[thehotmessnow]

murder-popsicle

Bucky smiled a little, though the expression wasn’t entirely happy. “I just wanna help her feel a little better,” she said. “She’s always tryin’ to do so much at once. Kinda like you, really. But I care about her, and I don’t like seein’ her so upset.”

Caring was an understatement. Bucky loved Natasha. She’d fallen for her decades ago, during their time together in the Red Room, and when they’d met again after Bucky’s escape from HYDRA, those feelings had all come flooding back – for both of them. Having Natasha beside her again felt like a blessing from Heaven, one that Bucky wasn’t entirely certain she deserved.

She walked over to the sink to wash the dough from her hands, taking advantage of the nail brush in the drawer to scrub the finger joints of her prosthesis, which had collected a buildup of flour and stray dough. That was one disadvantage to the thing. Sure, she could hold hot objects and punch through walls, but the joints of her flesh-and-blood hand never clogged up when she was cooking.

“Can’t say I’ve heard Tony say anythin’ about you,” Bucky said, “but I gotta admit, we don’t spend a lotta time together. He spends so much time in his workshop, y’know? I don’t wanna intrude. And I’m still tryin’ to find my feet with…all this.”

She waved a hand vaguely, trying to encompass the entirety of the Tower in one gesture. After her time on the run – first hunting down as much of HYDRA as she could find, and then settling in her tiny apartment in Bucharest and trying to put herself back together, to relearn how to be human – the sheer bustle of the Avengers could be overwhelming, and the Tower itself was mind-boggling, like something out of her childhood pulp sci-fi magazines come to life.

All in all, it was a lot to take in.

Drying her hands, she sat down across from Pepper at the kitchen counter. “It’ll be nice to have you tonight,” she said. “I wouldn’t say you remind me of a beheaded chicken, but you do remind me of my ma. Always busy. Always havin’ somethin’ that needs to be tended to. I mean, I can’t even imagine what your schedule looks like, runnin’ that company the way you do. You got your hands full for sure.”

After taking a small sip of her drink, Pepper smiled softly at Bucky. One didn’t have to search very hard to know that Bucky cared about Natasha’s well-being, but it didn’t stop there. Although having so many people at the same place of residence paved the way for many disagreements, it was amazing to watch how much they had each other’s backs and showed it in so many different ways.

“Doing so much seems to be a trend around here. Rechargeable humans at their finest.”

While Bucky busied herself at the sink, Pepper returned to her spot at the counter and had a seat. She placed the mug onto the countertop while her eyes trained on Bucky as she spoke, a chuckle soon following.

“Well, I suppose that’s acceptable. At least it’s nothing I’ll have to scold him for later.”

Pepper and Tony had their moments just like everyone else, and they were ones to leave their private life mostly private besides the occasional stolen kiss and slip-up. Tony’s lived in the spotlight, and while that was a lot for Pepper to get used to when she first began developing feelings for him, she learned how to handle it and met him halfway.

Pepper smiled from across the table at Bucky’s kind words. Her lips soon parted as she laughed at the statement that followed.

“I don’t know about that. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have anything together and I would lose my head if it wasn’t connected to the rest of my body.”

She paused, eyes softening at Bucky as a small smile appeared.

“But thank you. I could never handle what you all do. I still have trouble looking down from the tall buildings that I’m placed on against my will by a man in armor sometimes.”

She sipped her coffee as she thought about how little she really did know of the hero in front of her. There were things that she picked up on with each of the residents, but sometimes, it was hard to read Bucky. Luckily, it looked as though they would have plenty of time to get to know each other in the future.

[anavengernow]

Hey everyone. I just wanted to let my writing partners know that I apologize for the delay on replies. I have a lot going on right now, so my activity will be very low for the next little bit. I don’t want anyone to think that I’ve lost muse or I’m going inactive. I will be back to replying as normal when things straighten out a bit. 

[thehotmessnow]

hyperverbalbillionaire

▼          Tony finished his second extra-large whiskey and poured a third while he sent a text to Rhodey one-handed. All he ended up sending was: Tower 911. Rhodey responded almost immediately with a message that read: Be there in twenty.

Tony wondered if Pepper had already told Rhodey in case she needed him to “handle” Tony after the big blow out.

He was halfway through his third whiskey and actively looking for bad news on his phone so he could at least feel like someone had it shittier than he did when he heard a crash from the stairs. It sounded like luggage being dropped over the railing. Fuck. He hoped she didn’t crack the marble.

But he didn’t care enough about that to actually go do anything. He was pretty sure he was past his ability to walk the line at this point anyway.

He heard a few more crashes before he finally heard Pepper’s heels click-clacking down the staircase. He wouldn’t miss that sound. He realized that was a lie as soon as he thought it. He was totally going to miss it. He couldn’t really think of anything he wasn’t going to miss about her.

He still wasn’t even sure what the fuck he’d done wrong—unless it was mostly about almost getting himself killed on a regular basis. But there was nothing he could do about that. He refused to let her make it an ultimatum of her or the suit. Fuck that manipulative bullshit if that was where she was headed with all this.

She came back into the room talking about her faults and now that he was drunk it was even harder not to beg her to stay. He would’ve promised a lot of things if she asked, but not that. Not the suit.

When she went on about her life getting lost in his and having “distractions” which he hoped to sweet Christ wasn’t code for some himbo she was banging on the side.

Choosing not to address that part, his face contorting with pure sadness and hurt now, he said, “And that’s my fault?”

He sighed and shook his head. It didn’t matter. This was inevitable. It was what always happened—eventually.

“I thought we were making a life together. Isn’t that what people do? Compromise? Share their lives, even the crappy parts?” he questioned, refusing to meet her eyes because he knew it would hurt like hell. “Forget it. I guess I was wrong.”

Like he always was.

Rhodey and Happy were the only constants in his life. He’d thought Pepper was too but maybe that was just his own wishful thinking. He couldn’t make her happy or give her what she wanted because maybe deep down inside him…there was nothing there. Like the way you’d fill out the form of a body in your bed so you could sneak out, maybe he had a soul filled out with failed schematics and old cheeseburger wrappers that formed a vaguely soul-like shape? Pepper had figured him out and now she was leaving. Who wanted to merge their life with a soulless monster’s?

She told him that she’d kept her ride waiting long enough. Wow. Nice. So she’d kept someone waiting in case—what? He went ballistic and she had to make a run for it? Fuck, that hurt. Like he would.

Then she asked him to tell her he wouldn’t “destroy” anything. For a second, he seriously thought she meant property damage. Then it hit.

“Oh, that’s a nice fucking goodbye. Because of course I couldn’t possibly do anything but go fuck some twenty-two-year-old the second you were out the goddamn door. Thanks for that, Pepper.” He laughed hollowly, rubbing at his forehead where there was a headache coming on strong now. “Just what I needed, the shitty icing on my fuck-you cake,” he added, still chuckling humorlessly while continuing to refuse to look her way. He didn’t want this to be how he remembered seeing her last. That stone-faced expression she was putting on was driving him nuts.

Out of all the time that Pepper had known Tony, she had been afraid of many things, but never of him. No matter how bad his temper got, she never felt threatened by the way he would raise his voice. If anything, this made her drawn to him even more for being vulnerable enough to show her such emotions, which often resulted in her comforting him, both physically and mentally. That day told a different story. Although she didn’t fear being in his presence, she didn’t have that same instinct to close all distance between them and console him. She hadn’t spent enough time without that feeling to know what type of void it was capable of leaving, but she would be lying if she said things didn’t feel...odd.

She remained silent as she listened to everything on his mind, and he certainly didn’t hold back. He was saying things that made sense at the time, but would it be just as fair hours, days, or weeks from then? She had been holding back on acting on her undeniable feelings for what felt like an eternity, and she couldn’t give into those temporary moments of weakness. 

A life together was something she had pictured many more times than he was probably aware of, but she rarely took into account the idea of having to give the best part of him to grown men and women in suits. She could not deny how awful that would sound out loud, considering how those brave souls took on the weight of the world and tried to save it, but she would simply be misunderstood. She didn’t feel like she could manage the unpredictability and chaos that came along with it, or at least not yet. Tony himself caused her to often question her sanity, but with people pulling him in all different directions that she had no idea what was hidden within them? Well, she had to fall to her humanity and admit that there were things she couldn’t handle.

It wasn’t often that Pepper was genuinely confused; she had seen and heard it all, but in feeling Tony’s wrath from her latest comment, she couldn’t quite get the pieces to fit. Her lips were slightly parted as her brows knitted together. Was he-? He was. 

“Oh, give me a break.” 

She mumbled her words beneath her breath before the crease in her forehead disappeared and she rolled her eyes instead.

“You know what? I can’t even be bothered to go into detail on how I didn’t mean anything remotely close to that. Need I remind you whose mind came up with that one?”

Her voice was stern as she fell somewhere between furious and offended. She quickly noted how his eyes refused to meet hers, but she made small movements with her head in order to get a clearer look at his current expression. She wanted to see his expression to make sure the tone of her voice was heard.

“Your marble floors are at risk for impaction. That’s the only thing that is - was - my business. The rest is up to you.”

She was feeling more irritable by the second, and although storming out of a room was something she had tried so desperately to avoid, she couldn’t help the way her heels clanked against the floor as she made her departure. Her vision became blurred as she looked down at the pile of luggage, but she couldn’t tell if it was the rage or the tears that threatened to spill. Upon further realization, tears were nowhere in the picture, but she could feel that hopeless, dull ache inside as she leaned over to grab the handles on her bags. She grabbed them all in one go, which resulted in her body leaning heavily to one side as she met the gentleman at the door, who graciously took her bags. She thanked him quietly and stood in place, catching her breath from the strenuous activity and the emotional rollercoaster she had just been on. 

Pepper liked to trust her brain over anything else, but sometimes, she couldn’t bear to go against what she felt in her chest. That held true in the present when she turned from the view of the outdoors back into the room where Tony resided. She was in no hurry to enter, so she kept a slow, steady place as he came into her view. She picked up on how her breathing slowed, but her heart did the opposite. Her eyes examined his body language closely, but no matter what it read, it wouldn’t change the fact that her next move was to close the distance between the two of them and snake her arms around him. It wouldn’t stop her from resting her chin on his shoulder and taking in the familiar scent that smelled like home as her eyes fluttered closed.

And it didn’t.

She was frozen in complete silence as she held the most important thing she had for as long as he would allow, and how many more times she would be given to do just that was a mystery. 

[thatrussellboy]

“What I’m about to do, I do because I have to, not because I want to.”

Independent and private portrayal of Arvin Russell.

Mature/dark themes based on the movie.

Semi-selective.

Mobile links are here.

Est. 01/21

[sagamemes]

non-sexual forms of intimacy.   send me ‘INTIMACY +’ a number between 1-125 and i’ll write a starter or a drabble about our muses engaging in a form of intimacy outside of sexual context.   note: as the level of trust required for the things listed here varies a lot, feel free to send multiple numbers if you aren’t sure if they’ll work! bonus:   if the mun is comfortable with randomising a number if asked, state so in the tags when you reblog!

1        watching tv/movies together

2        going to an event together  ( like a carnival, festival, etc. )

3        going on dates, like to the movies or shopping

4        sharing secrets

5        hugs

6        sharing drinks

7        having a phone call

8        touching noses

9        cuddling

10      having a philosophical discussion

11      hand holding

12      sharing jokes

13      sharing smiles

14      laying your head on someone’s shoulder

15      linking arms

Keep reading

[thehotmessnow]

"You look tired,babe. "

Tony said as he rubbed her tired shoulder blades and gave her little kisses upon her soft neck.

"How about I run you a bath ..?"

Pepper’s eyes finished skimming over the last page of her book when she heard the voice from behind her. A brow arched slightly at Tony’s offer.

“Just what every woman wants to hear. Your way with words never changes.”

She closed her book and placed it aside before shifting to better look at him. She couldn’t deny the fact that she had been on her feet all day, and that following several sleepless nights wasn’t aiding in her exhaustion.

Her eyes fluttered shut and her head tilted to one side as she felt some of the tension leave her body with his touch.

“As nice as that sounds, I’m going to turn this around on you. When was the last time you took a breath?”

[pruehalliwell]

favorite fictional ladies → pepper potts (mcu)

you must be the famous pepper potts. indeed i am.

[marvelladiesdaily]

Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts Iron Man 3 (2013) dir. Shane Black

[thehotmessnow]

murder-popsicle

The comment elicited a surprised laugh from Bucky, and her smile widened as she shook her head. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna be tired of take-out,” she said. “There’s so much variety these days. It wasn’t like that when I was growin’ up. We had the automat and the deli and that was about it. But now it seems like New York’s got everythin’ – kebabs and banh mi and mapo tofu and empanadas and all sortsa other delicious stuff.”

Still, she enjoyed cooking her own food, too, and she’d made more than a few dinners for the Avengers since joining them at the Tower. She was planning a stew for tonight, thinking that it would be nice to have something hot and filling on such a chilly, windy day.

“I’m actually makin’ pirozhki,” she explained. “They’re these little Russian meat buns. I thought some comfort food might cheer Natasha up. She’s been kinda moody lately.”

She wouldn’t expect Pepper to have noticed, as busy as she was being CEO. (CEO! And of one of the biggest companies in America! No women had been CEOs back when Bucky was growing up.) In fact, most of the Avengers didn’t seem to have noticed Natasha’s change in demeanor – just Steve and Sam. And Bucky, because Bucky knew Natasha as well as she knew herself most days. They had a history together, and she could read Natasha’s moods the same way she could read the alphabet.

She kneaded the last of the flour into the dough and then covered the bowl with a towel before putting it aside. The dough needed to rise for at least an hour before she could actually start forming the dumplings. “I know you’re awful busy these days,” she said. “I see you runnin’ around all the time. But if you’re sick of takeout, I’m makin’ stew tonight. You could join us for dinner. Stark always seems to like when you do that.”

In fact, Bucky was pretty sure that Tony Stark was harboring feelings for Pepper. But whether or not Pepper returned those feelings wasn’t something she could say. Unlike Natasha, Bucky couldn’t read Pepper at all. The woman seemed to rush through life with a constant pleasant smile that betrayed nothing about her actual thoughts or mood.

Pepper chuckled at her response. Her life went far too fast to enjoy a homecooked meal on most days, so she really had no other option than take-out. However, it was nice to finally have some down time and use it to converse with someone in the tower.

“There are definitely plenty of options, although I’m guilty of being a creature of habit in that department. Perhaps I should branch out.”

She was very intrigued by Bucky’s choice of dish. She watched her hand movements as she prepared it.

“Mmm, yum. That’s very kind of you. I’m sure she can’t stay in a bad mood for too much longer.”

She felt guilty, almost as if she was lying through her teeth. Much like Pepper, Natasha always seemed to have a lot on her mind. She easily picked up on Natasha’s moods and how they had swayed so much lately, but she wrote it off as none of her concern. Since her and Natasha were certainly acquaintances but not the closest, other than a simple ‘how are you’, Pepper would never bring anything up.

The machine sounded, signaling that her coffee was ready. She got up off the stool and made her way toward the sugar and creamer while still listening to Bucky. As she ripped open a packet of sugar, she smiled at Bucky’s words that followed.

“Is it noticeable? I try to pretend like I’m not running around like a beheaded chicken sometimes.”

She tossed the empty package into the trash and turned around with her coffee in hand, leaning her backside against the counter.

“That sounds delicious. Unless something comes up, I should have a clear schedule this evening. I would love to join.”

Pepper knew that she needed to put more effort into communicating with the people around her, but she always felt like by the time she had any extra minutes to spare, she was already so behind that she couldn’t possibly get caught up on what was going on. She preferred to look at it from a business perspective instead of the inside, because new stuff happened on the daily that she couldn’t possibly keep up with. Bucky was right, though; Tony seemed to love when she joined because it made it seem like the two sides of his life were merged together, so she couldn’t possibly say no whenever the opportunity showed itself.

“Just out of curiosity, do you recall him ever mentioning me when I’m out running around? Any mumbling under his breath perhaps?”

The topic was all in good fun and she hoped Bucky saw that, but she also wanted to know what crazy things he would come up with while she wasn’t there to be his anchor in filtering his words.

[thehotmessnow]

hyperverbalbillionaire

▼          Tony remembered a time when Pepper used to call him impossible with laughter in her words. She didn’t sound amused now, though. He sighed and didn’t answer. If shit weren’t hitting the fan hard, he might’ve tried flirting, but even he could see that it was well past time for that to work.

She complained about them not having enough time, but in his mind, that was as much her doing as his. She was the CEO of a Fortune 100 company, after all.

He just scoffed under his breath and took another sip of whiskey. Because, sure, it was his fault. It was always his fault.

His bravado deflated when she told him that she thought he cared more about life in the suit than out of it. His stoic façade faltered, expression going slack, and his eyes blurred with hot tears. “Pep—”

That’s not true, he wanted to say. But the words wouldn’t come. His throat was too thick with choked-back tears.

He might’ve gotten it out if she hadn’t then told him he needed to take this seriously and make time. What the hell did he need to make time for? She was fucking leaving him, wasn’t she?

She got pissed when he called her “break” a “vacation,” saying she wasn’t doing it to relax.

“Aren’t you?” he asked, the cracks in his armor already shored up. “I mean, you did just say that you were sick of putting out my fires and waiting for me to bite it. That sounds like you could use a spa day to me.” It had the wording of one of his jokes but his tone was hard and bitter.

He didn’t even know what to say to her next rant at first. What the hell was wrong with his judgement?

“Of course I don’t know, Pepper!” he burst out. “How the hell would I know when you don’t tell me a goddamn thing until your fucking bags are packed!”

Voice lower and marginally calmer, he added, “How is it my fault how you’ve ‘formed your life’? I thought you wanted—” His voice caught, his eyes blurring again as he looked away. His voice dropped even lower. “I thought you wanted to be here.”

And—holy fuck—did it hurt to hear that she didn’t.

Which was probably why he was so snarky, asking if she had more to say. She implied there was but that it wasn’t anything she hadn’t already said. Her sarcasm was just as cutting as always. He was pretty happy not to be ranted at if she wasn’t going to provide any solutions or new information for him to go on.

Of course, he didn’t want her to leave, either.

The moment after she yelled was silent for a beat. He was struck with the urge to go to her, try to hold her, but he didn’t think she’d let him now.

“I listen, Pep, I just don’t know what you want me to do,” he admitted.

When the silence drew out again, he asked if she was moving out. She told him that she didn’t have much there.

He huffed a short laugh. “Yeah, you never really did settle in, did you?”

Maybe he should’ve known that meant something, that this day was coming sooner than later and he’d be gutted by it.

She headed up the stairs to get her things and Tony went to the bar and filled up his glass to the brim with the most expensive whiskey he had. It was a waste, he supposed, he wouldn’t even taste it going down, but that was just the sort of mood he was in now.

Pepper felt like the farther she extended the stairs, the more she second-guessed the words that took place down them. She had played the scenario in her mind more times than she could count over the recent days, but it had never gotten to the point of her packing her belongings. For valid reasons, that scene never made the cut because she always bet on the caving and forgetting that anything had ever happened, but she was in much too far to turn around.

She kept her luggage relatively light for what the normal was for a woman her age. If it wasn’t a necessity, it didn’t come with her. All of the dresses that she had bought with her boss’ money remained except for one, which held sentimental value that she wasn’t ready to give up; she wasn’t very skilled when it came to giving up.

Tony’s tone rang in her ears, nearly making her shiver. He had raised his voice plenty of times at various machinery, especially Dum-E, but she couldn’t recall a time seeing him as upset as he was in the present. On one possibly selfish end, that gave her hope because she felt like she was important enough to unleash those heavy emotions inside of him. She knew that her name would most likely slip from his mind after he drank to forget, but in that moment, she felt seen and viewed with value.

She was physically zipping her last suitcase, but mentally, she was anywhere else. Her body felt like a hollow shell, and she found herself at the point where she wanted to make everything quick, like ripping a band-aid off to make it less painful. Except it didn’t, because that sinking, pulling feeling in the pit of her stomach only heightened when his words played in her mind like a broken record, with his voice cracking and emotions bleeding through. It was difficult to see Tony’s mask come off, but this wasn’t just about him; this was about her, too.

Getting her luggage safely down the stairs was not something that she had thoroughly thought through, because it normally didn’t pose as an issue. Tony was appointed those jobs before, but her pride simply wouldn’t allow her to call for assistance. Instead, she dragged her luggage by the handle, case by case, and grunted softly as she used all of her strength to sling it over the railing. She peered down after the loud commotion each time, and when all cases were safely on the first floor, she descended the stairs herself.

She took her sweet time getting back to where Tony was. Soft sounds of glass touching could be heard in the distance, and it didn’t take much thought to know exactly what Tony was doing. It was a bit early, even for him, but if his reasoning felt valid, she felt no urge to point it out.

She stopped in her tracks when she reached the bottom step. This is it. Who knew how long she would be gone? Who would be the one to break the silence and move her back in? Would Tony even want her back in after everything settled down or would she be replaced with someone who was much more qualified to deal with his everyday life? Those were all things that swirled in her mind, but as her eyes fluttered shut and she took in a slow, deep breath, she shooed those away and was on the move again. Even with the flashbacks from an agonizing few minutes ago that she just wanted kept in the past, she couldn’t leave without attempting to clear the air. He already had a hard enough time falling to sleep at night, and maybe not having to calculate her words so much before bed was the least she could give him.

Pepper wasn’t shy, but her body threatened to lock as her heart began a loud rhythm that could be heard in her ears. That lump in her throat felt foreign, even for someone who had seen what she had. Of all the scary things that she could imagine, playing her words right in the coming moments were up there.

Her eyes immediately locked on him when his personal bar came into view, and where her body felt so heavy all of a sudden, she was slow to approach where he was.

“I have my faults. I can’t deny that, and I won’t make excuses. Not telling you anything until I told you everything was an error on my part.”

Her voice was soft but stern. With the next statement, however, the words came out as strained and threatened to break.

“I wanted to- I want to be here, but I got so comfortable in your life that mine was forgotten. You aren’t the only one with distractions.”

She was referring to his excessive tinkering behind closed doors that sparked her worries that consumed her mind, but also to the weight of the company. It was clear that her and Tony were often on opposite ends of the spectrum, and while she enjoyed the responsibility, she needed to be more than just someone with a backbone at all times. She needed to feel soft, vulnerable, and like a priority that needed protection. Until she got a taste of those things, she would never know what she was craving oh-so-badly.

Her head lowered to stare at her reflection in the marble floor. She saw herself looking back at her, but that person wasn’t someone very familiar anymore. She wanted more out of this than to show Tony that the Avengers weren’t the only ones who needed him; she needed to find herself so she wouldn’t crave that reassurance.

“I’ve kept my ride waiting long enough.”

She lifted her head to get a clear view of Tony.

“Just tell me you aren’t going to destroy...anything.”

Perhaps that statement was meant as a joke, but the feel of the room didn’t exactly scream a safe place for laughter.

[vhsmeme]

* soft family things

‘ i love you so, so much. ’

‘ stop putting your head down in my house. you know my rule. it’s all love and all pride in this house. ’

‘ lost things have a way of turning up. ’

‘ watch your mouth. ’

‘ not so fast. you still have some vegetables left. ’

‘ very funny. ’

‘ i think you’re due for a haircut. ’

‘ come on. bedtime. ’

‘ and when were you going to tell me? ’

‘ i’m glad you came into my life. ’

‘ you were talking in your sleep. ’

‘ come here. i’ll fix it. ’

‘ this show sucks. ’

‘ mom/dad, can we go home now? ’

‘ you forgot something. ’

‘ can we stay like this for a little while? it’s nice. ’

‘ hot chocolate helps. and good company. ’

‘ you’ll feel better once you take your medicine and have a nap. ’

‘ close your eyes. it’s a surprise. ’

‘ it’s good to have you home. ’

‘ i’m not angry with you, just disappointed. ’

‘ your shoe’s untied. ’

‘ i missed this. ’

‘ hey, hey. sit down. deep breaths. ’

‘ will you tuck me in? ’

‘ go to your room and stay there until you’ve calmed down. ’

‘ i heard crying. i got worried. ’

‘ don’t use that tone with me. ’

‘ well, i love you more. ’

‘ just focus on my voice. that’s it. you’re okay. we’re okay. ’

‘ this movie is too scary. turn it off. ’

‘ how long have you been sick? ’

‘ don’t play with your food. ’

‘ i’ll stay right here until you fall asleep. ’

‘ don’t even think about going outside without your coat. ’

‘ i’m not asking you, i’m telling you. ’

‘ you can pick the story tonight. ’

‘ everyone needs somebody. we got each other. ’

‘ you call that a hug? ’

‘ i was the same way when i was your age. ’

[thehotmessnow]

murder-popsicle

@thehotmessnow​

Bucky was wrist-deep in dough when Pepper Potts wandered into the Tower’s communal kitchen. Natasha was in a funk, and Bucky had hoped that making some pirozhki to have with dinner might help brighten her spirits.

She wasn’t sure what the cause was – fallout from the Avengers’ last assignment, the recent high-profile murder of an old colleague from their Soviet past, or maybe just plain bad memories – but Natasha had been tense and moody for a few days now, and so far nothing Bucky had tried had succeeded in lifting her spirits. But that didn’t mean Bucky was ready to give up; maybe comfort food would do the trick.

She gave Pepper a nod of acknowledgement as she passed by. That was about as much as they’d ever exchanged, apart from good morning or, on the rare occasions when Pepper joined them for dinner, a polite could you pass the potatoes, please?

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Pepper; it was just that she didn’t really know her. Bucky was still trying to find her feet here, after spending over a year on her own as a fugitive before Steve had tracked her down, and Pepper, for her part, didn’t seem inclined to socialize with most of the Tower’s residents. Probably she had her hands full, what with running Stark Industries.

Still, just because Bucky didn’t know her well didn’t mean she had any reason to be rude. So she glanced up, shot Pepper a small smile, and said, “Afternoon, Miss Potts.”

Pepper’s eyes were heavy from lack of sleep. She was a perfectionist, but dealing with an imperfect company on top of Tony Stark didn’t mesh very well with her standards. Tony would pull things out of thin air and cause her organized chaos to shift into a complete disaster, which was taking more of a toll on her than she let others know.

She tried to keep to herself often; not because she didn’t want to form bonds with the people who were around her most days, but because she didn’t have time. Any effort that wasn’t put into the company was put into the man himself, who had gotten harder to deal with in the most recent days. Perhaps this was equally her issue due to the fact that she rarely got to know anyone outside of Tony, but unlike him, she didn’t run on batteries.

Pepper never used to be a coffee drinker, but it soon became the first thing she tasted every morning before tackling yet another hectic day. She would go downstairs and pass by several familiar faces, yet not feel like she was acquainted with any of them. In the present day, she was only met with one.

Her eyes glazed over room as she wore a small smile, which was her default expression to keep people from asking if she was in a bad mood. She hated being the person who didn’t speak unless spoken to, but she felt as though she often came across that way. That held true when Bucky caught her attention with a nod, then a greeting. Her eyes focused on Bucky while her smile grew warmer.

“Good afternoon.”

Her voice was rather chipper as she approached the machine, which would have her coffee prepared in several minutes. She took advantage of the extra time and approached Bucky’s space, where she seemed to be dedicated to the task at hand.

“I see you’re tired of takeout, too.”

She sat on a stool across from where Bucky was prepping a meal of some sort and rested her folded arms on the table, her posture remaining straight.