The Human Wiki

I am here to take your knowledge. (she/they)

[thehumanwiki]

I don’t know why I’m here or why I have this account but I will take all of your knowledge and add it to my collection thank you goodbye.

[thehumanwiki]

most bananas are radioactive, but on such a small scale that it's negligible. this banana, however, hit the one in trillions chance, and exploded as you went to eat it, killing you instantly in a potassium pool.

[thehumanwiki]

where is my Nobody-ing

[chufflepop]

Ignore that they’re technically the same pikachu shhhh

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[oneheadtoanother]

[kropotkindersurprise]

Critical support to these scammers weaponizing homophobia to drain right-wingers' bank accounts 🫡

[totally-cis-offical]

Also the CEO is nonbinary

[thehumanwiki]

one day i will dm a dnd campaign that's just the plot of barbie and the diamond castle

[thehumanwiki]

today i am in the midst of creating that very campaign

[thehumanwiki]

starting a Temp Job soon where the job is, to my knowledge, "put these signs together in a repetitive fashion for 8 hours without having to talk to anybody."

excellent

[thehumanwiki]

the author of a popular fanfiction told me today that my fic has driven him to the depths of madness and obsession, and that he's seeing it in his dreams like some haunting virus that's taken over his mind in its entirety. good! i'm glad to hear that my silly Pokémon fanfiction has the same effect on people as some unknowable horror.

[thehumanwiki]

he got caught up, kudosed and bookmarked it, then dubbed it as a "cognitohazard". i love writing. i love being some sort of Entity

[sunsetstitches]

Please vote for Tenna guys I need this as much as he does

VOTE TENNA FOR TUMBLR SEXYMAN 2026 NOW!!!

Guys if Tenna wins I will open Tenna art requests (including 18+ requests on bsky) for an entire day ok and I will do as many as I’m physically capable of ok PLEASE PLEASE LET TENNA WIN!!

[dandelionjack]

not nearly enough people are fuming about the cass review. do you understand the eventual implications? trans people in the uk will be considered children up until the age of 25, and denied HRT/surgery/even basic measures like legal name change and social transition. all owing to a biased and largely unscientific study. you know what “treatment” for gender dysphoria is recommended by the review instead? conversion therapy.

this will kill people and they know it, because they prefer us dead and out of sight. the government, the NHS and even the opposition have made this clear again and again. a twenty-five year old can have sex, get married have children, join the military, earn a living, be halfway up the corporate ladder or highly successful in their chosen career field by that age, but they can’t transition under NHS rules. this is a death sentence for trans teenagers and they are going ahead with it. it’s trans genocide, same as across the pond.

i’m so afraid for my trans siblings and our futures. i’m so scared for myself. what are we to do if not even the party that is supposed to be on the “left” gives a shit about our safety and mental health as long as they get voted in? labour have become tories with a red coat of paint. it all feels hopeless

[oak-the-professor]

Fuck, I didn't realise it was up till 25 (not that I didn't find it devastating anyway). This is so shit. I fucking hate how much the government here, especially the recent Labour government pretends to support LGBT rights and then just... lets this happen.

Well, shit, now I'm crying.

Anyway, gonna get this spread around more. @mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026 @satan-offical @forgetthefall @explosions-are-funny @gracehasaspacesuitquestion @no-one-offical @unyieldingsilence @ghostofafruitmain

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Fuck

[t00thpasteface]

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

[zulashur]

Cider is like if beer transitioned and stopped hating herself

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Sam Handwich.

[sufficientlylargen]

If Pikiwedia says it it must be true.

[zooperdoopers]

I made Pikiwedia real. Works for any Wikipedia page. Use this wisely :)‌

[sufficientlylargen]

Oh, wary dell vone

[zooperdoopers]

Goodmorning to the Anthropic Claude AI training scraper that suddenly decided to request 660 thousand pages (exactly the number I had remaining on the starter plan) and brought Pikiwedia down. 

Sudden switch from diverse user agents like chrome, safari, messenger preview to Just Claudebot. I'm not even mad though, this is maybe the funniest thing possible, because I've inadvertently poisoned their training data with thousands of fucked up articles with normal urls. 

Pikiwedia perseveres, back up with a better robots.txt. I hope Anthropic has a gery vood time with Pikiwedia's data :))

[thehumanwiki]

this feels like looking at my evil alternate self. the Piki...

[thehumanwiki]

i'm bad at being the baddie in social deduction games. i like being friendly and cooperative too much for my own good. one time i was on the Evil Team in a game of "Secret Hitler" and i flubbed my team victory like three separate times because i was too nice to the Other Team. i am incompetent.

[thehumanwiki]

the author of a popular fanfiction told me today that my fic has driven him to the depths of madness and obsession, and that he's seeing it in his dreams like some haunting virus that's taken over his mind in its entirety. good! i'm glad to hear that my silly Pokémon fanfiction has the same effect on people as some unknowable horror.

[thehumanwiki]

gang i want to try DMing for DnD how do i start a campaign