E sharp and C flat

fuckin fight me about those key signatures

[smurkark]

I made this cake (without the vinegar) on Sunday and it’s still delicious and moist and amazing

also this is one of the comments on the recipe and I’m still laughing about it:

[chookiemunster]

In a scale from Taron Egerton looking at Hugh Jackman

to Ezra Miller being touched by Colling Farrell

how good are you to hide your obviously gay desires?

[gayteenhipster]

Horrible! I’m a Dylan O’Brien at best

[midnite-wet-dreamz]

I’m more of a Tom Daley shooting “pls rerrange my colon” sniper glances

[mitochondiva]

[yonceeknowles]

[racistspiderman]

[racistspiderman]

More women

[sevey6]

Thank god they decided to make more

[magsbanes]

[spindabugs]

me: hi how are you?

customer: im returning this

me: *slaps my ass loud enough to deafen them* i said how are you

[sseaworn]

when my dad moved away from home he needed a place to live, so he went to look at this one potential apartment. the only questions the landlady asked him were where he was born and when. when my dad told him, the landlady pulled out this huuuge astrology chart book. she looked at it for a long time in silence and finally said, “acceptable”

[rainbowtalks]

this is funny and awful at the same time

[yeahdragon]

yall have no idea just how badly i want to cook some rice in gatorade

[yeahdragon]

i hope to god im doing this right

[yeahdragon]

im not sure how to feel about this

[yeahdragon]

update: the gatorade didnt give the rice any flavor as i had hoped but the color is nice? Anyway i slapped some sweet chili sauce on it and now im eating the gatorade rice abomination while playing destiny 2

it looks fucking disgusting i know but it just tastes like rice

[yeahdragon]

LAMBASTED FOR RICE CRIMES

[gay-hylian]

@m0rkl

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

FREE THEM

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

I say this without a shred of irony:

pageant moms are abusive monsters.

[unclefather]

Just had a child say “circumcise me, captain!” And his mom smacked him in the back of the head and said “I’m so sorry I don’t know where he heard that I don’t even know if he knows what that means” and I’m thinking about how kids are just walking shitpost generators

[graceebooks]

my grandpa is always making fun of old people he sees like he’s not 85

[graceebooks]

he goes “wow today was old folks day at olive garden” i was like yeah grandpa that’s why we brought you there at 4:30pm

[i-am-avacado]

I read this in john mulaney’s voice

[pukicho]

Do you have any regrets?

Absolutely! Thanks for the ask

[i-am-a-fish]

like this post and I will instantly teleport to your home and gobble up your shower curtain

[arch-tempered-yian-garuga]

My shower curtain is glass

[i-am-a-fish]

well crunchity munchity then, you think that will stop me?

[soyoumusik]

Dear college bound friends,

Please do not start your essay with “Music has always been a big part of my life.” I get it. It’s the start of every. single, fricken, essay. And I know I probably made the same mistakes when I was writing mine. 

Love, 

A College Admissions Counselor

[jillibags]

Can I start it with “dude bro. Music is the bomb digity.” ?

[soyoumusik]

Honestly, you wouldn’t be the first person. I had a student start an essay with “Ball is life” and they got a scholarship so…

[queerfemme]

I am incredibly curious as to why a college admissions officer has a tumblr

[hezascarlet-deactivated20181215]

Shouldn’t we be worried that a college admission officer HAS a tumblr??

[soyoumusik]

[john-marshall]

Okay I’m trying to find this one particular meme… I’m hoping that with this rough recreation I just made in paint I can Stir Someone’s Memory and they can send me the true meme. It looks something like this:

I haven’t seen this meme in years but I love it so much, please

[nickvelantine]

[john-marshall]

THANK YOU

[the-memedaddy]

[enjoloras-deactivated20220821]

Witnessed a fight earlier where one lad was screaming ‘you wanna go?!? You wanna fucking go?!?!’ At someone and one of his mates, holding him back, just went ‘nobody wants to go anywhere, dave’ And I’m fucking howling