The End
This marks the death of The Junkie's Girlfriend. My heart has reached its breaking point. I was willing to put up with too much. I would've helped him through anything. But bringing other women into the equation crossed the line. I would've stood by him through heaven and hell. I gave him my best. I loved him when no one else dared. I saw the light in him when everyone else saw the dark. I loved him, completely and without second thought. But that wasn't enough for him. He made promises he had no intentions of keeping and said words he did not mean. He had multiple women staying with him, in his bed, while I was away. And there is nothing more fucked up than that. I spent every second of every day thinking about him, worrying about him, loving him while he was sharing "our" bed with other tweakers and junkies. I could only bend so far before I broke. I could only take so much heartache, so many lies, so much pain. The love I felt for him blinded me. But now I am starting to see clearly. I will never be treated as second to drugs again. I will never be left alone in the middle of the night to go on a drug run. I will never be made to feel unimportant again. I hope with every fiber of my being that you get your head on straight before it's too late. I hope that you clean up and find happiness, not in chemicals but in yourself. I hope that you save yourself before you wind up in jail or dead. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. I'm sorry you didn't love me as much as I loved you. I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you. I loved an addict. I thought an addict loved me. I was wrong. An addict loves one thing: drugs. There is room for nothing else in an addict's heart. That is something I learned the hard way. But god I tried my hardest to show him how much better I thought he was, how much I loved him, how much I wanted to help him. But all the love in the world can't help someone who just doesn't want it. So there it is. The end of The Junkie's Girlfriend. The end of John and I. The end.
