This is going to be a bit of a meandering yarn (pun intended), but hear me out.
As someone who has taught people to crochet, and has had some great mentors and peers, I personally belief that the biggest barriers to people getting good at handcrafts (knitting, crochet, embroidery, etc.) are frustration tolerance and insecurity.
I've had some tantys with my yarn. I've thrown projects accross the room. I've sworn I would never pick up needles again. It's very normal to experience frustration as a crafter. There are enough memes out there that I feel like it's a prerequisite.
I've also had students tell me they are just bad at working with their hands, that they're clumsy, that they can't count (join the club), that something about them is uniquely flawed in such a way that they will never be good at crochet.
And what I've noticed, is that every single person I've met who feels that way is a complete beginner who hasn't given themself the chance.
So, consider the following,
Because handcrafts require persistence and muscle memory in order to become proficient, you will likely not experience the feeling of 'being good at it' for many years, and even then most people experience some amount of imposter syndrome. If you cannot handle the idea of not being good at something after a couple of tries, it might be worth investigating your relationship with instant gratification. Persisting with crochet is a fantastic way to start!
One does not become proficient by simply reading a pattern and completing an object. You become proficient from hundreds of hours of your body doing the same movements until they become second nature. The feeling of your body catching up to you is honestly amazing, and there have been several times during my crochet journey where I could actually feel my metaphorical skill bar go up a little bit.
The hand movements of crochet are very complex (there's a reason why machines can't reproduce them), which makes it hard to pick up. Especially if you've never done handcrafts before. So it's natural it would take most people a bit to get things like tension right.
If I had a dollar for every beginner who told me they're not good at tension...
So, everyone's tension sucks when they're beginners. That's not a secret, you're not uniquely afflicted, your tension sucks because you just started a new craft.
Exceptions including disability, of course. I have mild dyspraxia and I genuinely really struggle with tension in every craft I do. My hands don't work that way. I know people who can't crochet full stop cuz of their disabilities. Trust me, I get it. If you can't do it the way you're taught, find another way. Find something that helps. You're allowed.
Your tension will get better over time, but it will not get better at all if you give up because you're self conscious about being a beginner. You will not be able to read patterns if you tell yourself that you can't read patterns. You will always be stuck if you do not push past your discomfort and challenge yourself.
Please believe that pushing through the beginner anxiety is worth it. Changing your mindset about learning new skills is worth it. Persisting past the frustration is worth it.
You can do it.
