The Mclutter

This is a blog, obviously, in where I put some of my thoughts and random stuff out. I write for the sake of expressing myself. Nothing more, nothing less, after all, I'm just a little boy with a cluttered mind.

[books-n-quotes]

I hate solitude, but I am afraid of intimacy. The substance of my life is a private conversation with myself which to turn into a dialogue would be equivalent to self-destruction.

Iris Murdoch, Under the Net (via books-n-quotes)

[themclutter-blog]

THIS

You don’t have to shout 

for somebody to listen.

You don’t always have to speak

for somebody to understand.

THIS shouldn’t also be always for somebody,

in fact, most of THIS should be for you.

[themclutter-blog]

Sometimes..

Sometimes in life..

you don’t get what you want,

your plans don’t go the way you wanted to.

And sometimes,

during those sometimes

you just feel like

giving in 

to the feeling

of giving up.

But you can’t..

you just can’t

because sometimes

never really happens 

all the time.

[themclutter-blog]

Handaminamaniyan!

Ang daming gagawin

pero heto ako

nakatunganga pa din.

Nagpipilit pagkasyahin,

ang mga salitang

inakalang kinalimutan,

at tinambak, 

ng puso’t isip kong

minaskara ng halakhak.

Ang dami kong gusto saibihin

pero... ang hirap gawin.

Ika nga nila,..

mas madaling 

mag sabi

kesa gumawa.

Tumawa 

kesa lumuha.

Makinig

kesa pakinggan.

Tumahimik

kesa magsalita

Tumingin

kesa tingnan.

Magkwento

kesa matuto.

Magreklamo

kesa makuntento.

Ano pa ba?

madami pa to eh

isama na din natin

yung magmahal

kesa mahalin..

Pangakuan

kesa mangako,

Magpanggap

kesa magpakatotoo.

Magparaya

kesa mandaya.

Pumili

kesa piliin.

Matakot

kesa manakot

Tumawid

kesa umikot

Umoo

kesa humindi.

Kung babaliktarin

ang baliktaran

maibabaliktad 

din ba ang

kahulugan?

handaminamaniyan!!

[themclutter-blog]

Six

Let’s see....

I wrote this a little later than six

and at least a little early than seven.

I don’t really know if I should keep on writing

and set a deadline till eight,

or should I postpone this maybe...

 a little late.

You see..

 I’m waiting for this sign,

at least, before it becomes nine.

If things go the way I planned,

then by ten,

I should be okay then.

But what if I reached eleven,

and still nothing happens by then?

Twelve’s a hard word to rhyme with,

as I cannot name many words that ends 

with the letters L, V, and E.

Let’s see....

Oh wait....

I think I got one,

but, we’re past that one.

Add those in two

and I guarantee 

that we’ll get three,

that is of course if 

we subtract one.

Wait...

adding another one

would make it four right?

then removing all the ones

would then make this five,

that is, without those four.

Then without the four

we then would arrive

at five.

That is..

at least..

if we haven’t

gotten six.

[themclutter-blog]

Wika ko

Simulan natin sa wikang Tagalog.

Ang tagal na bago ulit ako 

nakalathala ng ganto.

Pasensya, kasi di talaga ako 

bihasa sa pagsusulat 

pagdating sa sariling wika.

Pero.. sinusubukan ko.

Hindi naman sa ayoko

o,di ako proud maging Pilipino.

Nahihirapan lang talaga ako

pagkat...nabubulol ako.

Nabubulol ako 

sa ganda ng wikang ito

pagkat isa siya sa mga 

wikang iniibig ko.

Na kapag naririnig ko siya

o nababasa...napapaisip ako.

Kung paano siya binuo

at saan binase ang konsepto.

Alam ko, alam ko, 

may history naman 

tayo na subject, tsaka internet.

Pero di lang naman 

pangkalahatan na 

impormasyon ang hanap ko.

Minsan ko nang naisip na

may mga bagay na 

natatago’t nababago

mula sa mga salitang

nagbubuo ng iba’t ibang

konsepto.

Sa ibang salita,

may mga bagay 

na hindi mo basta basta

makikita o malalaman

 sa pagbabasa at pakikinig 

lang ng mga salisalita.

[themclutter-blog]

Would it?

Of what my thoughts have been

these past few days....

I barely remember.

Every time I think and 

say the words out loud..

I just seem to stutter.

There’s always this..part of me,

that always seem to wonder...

does it really matter?

What difference does it make

if I had chosen the other?

would it be actually better?

would I even feel better?

or more.... bitter?

I wonder..

what would my life would be

if I had chosen the other...

[themclutter-blog]

New Year na, anu na?

Oh, new year na, and yes 25 days late na tong post na to so whattttt? haha anyways, namiss ko lang talaga mag sulat, you know, yung typical me na “heart-on-my-sleeve” kinda guy.

And of course yung pag gamit ng GIFS, I mean, I won’t lie, nageenjoy ako gamitin sila hahaha nagpapapilit kasi maging isa sa mga millenial peeps so I guess it’s a start lol. 

So new year na, I mean 25 days since the new year, and eto pa din ako haha! nothing really new except with being conyo-ish ng mej, mej lang naman, di naman halata right?med---------yo lang dibs? haha! yep I used a pun there kasi  you know that’s me, just trying to be funny(trying hard,like very much).So one of the reasons kung bat binuhay ko yung pagsusulat ko ng mga ganito, even tho most of them are flummery, referring to the content, is to develop my skills in writing, kasi ramdam kong need ko siya madevelop for the lab reports na gagawin ko within the term, and again also for song writing(cause I’m frustrated af) and for writing purposes. Considering also the fact na wala naman talagang makakapagbasa neto kahit ishare ko, I’m starting to think that I’m making another wrong decision, but not really. I think I can develop a healthy habit out of it so I think, I’ll give it a shot.

With that said, after this post, I’ll start writing again, like poems and such(mostly rants and some random stuff), hopefully, pag di ako kinain ng term na to, but I’ll do anything just to make this happen, for the reason that, well namiss ko lang talaga magsulat para sa sarili, nakalimutan ko na kasi ata, lagi na lang ako nagsusulat para sa iba(ehem cite reference here), tapos laging palihim pa, tipong ako lang nakaka-alam ganon, kasi di naman din ako ganon kagaling mag sulat tsaka di ko naman talaga pinapakita and pinaparinig sa iba yung most ng mga pinaggagawa ko, be it a poem or a song, either way, somehow, I think magwowork naman siguro yung ganito so yeahhhhhhhh, I’m doing this for myself, even tho I think I’ll mostly end up sharing this kasi I don’t think there’s an actual reason, maybe I’m just tricking my brain into something, which is now aware.... so I’m really contradicting myself here aren’t I? talk about redundancy eh? 

Ayon, tapos gusto ko na din igrab yung opportunity na to para bumati kay crush huhu, Hi crush! I’m sorry if I always come out as a creep(well at the most kasi, yun ang tingin ko na naiisip niya, di naman sa pinapangunahan ko siya or something, ganon lang talag ako mag-isip ngayon, ayoko na mag-isip ng positive things pag dating kay crush mahirap na, papaasahin ko nanaman yung sarili ko, and then same old story) haha, well hi pa din kay crush tho, hi lang kasi yung probability na basahin niya din to, especially this part? is soooooooo low, but even then hahaha! hi crush, gusto ko lang malaman mo na kung ano man yang pinagdadaanan mo ngayon, kayang kaya mo yan hihi, tsaka handa ako tumulong sayo in any way possible mapangiti lang kita or what bahala na haha! basta I’m here, I exist haha! 

Kaya if need mo ng help, wag ka na mahiya okayy? hahaha hayyyyyy

So I think Imma end this muna here, kasi andami pang gagawin, send help jk. haha kung madami lang ang oras no?

[wnq-writers]

I keep on writing all of my feelings upon my paper heart… and keep them untold… unspoken… for I know they won’t unlock his heart to welcome them…

everlasting-beauty-within (via wnq-writers)

[books-n-quotes]

I take great care of myself by carefully shutting myself away.

Vincent van Gogh, Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh

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(via books-n-quotes)

[theprocast]

When I said “ I Miss You ” it is not the touch I’m longing, it is your presence.

sophistikatedblogger (via procastiwriters)

[poems-and-words]

[poems-and-words]

Book of the day:The Woman by David Bishop (Free)

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[themclutter-blog]

Magik sa Trapik!

Panahon nanaman ng tag-ulan, ugh. Teka, don’t get me wrong ah, di naman sa ayoko, pero nakakinis kasi madami naapektuhan, lalong lalo na pag nasa daan ka, tapos nagmamadali ka na’t lahat lahat, kasi uwing uwi ka na o kaya malalate ka na sa pupuntahan o destinasyonn mo, alam mo yun! mapapa sigaw ka na lang deep inside.

Bukod sa trapik, nandiyan din yung mga moments na masstranded ka o di kaya mapipilitan na sumugod sa baha, kahit minsan may open wound ka sa paa, (o diba ang lakas maka open wound), pero syempre since ayun nga wala ka naman ding choice, di wala ka ngang choice, especially pag may mga nakikita ka ng mga ipis, sa pwesto mo, kung saan ka nakatayo.

O diba, so syempre kung kagaya mo ako, it’s do or die na lang sa baha,kahit na madaming shit o kung ano ano pa andon, anyways ang pinaka main point kasi ng post na to is; The thought of bakit bigla nagkakatrapik na lang sa daan pag umuulan?di niyo ba naisip yun? like, ano ba?! I mean, oo nag eexplode ang populasyon natin, pero, minsan may mga times talaga na nakapagtataka lang, tipong malinis yung daan, walang kotse, tapos ang bilis ng byahe mo, tapos konting ulan lang, biglang trapik agad? ano yun?!

a. lumiliit ba yung daan?! b. nagiging kotse at mga truck ba ang mga rain drops of rain?!      (oo, rain drops of rain talaga!) c. nagkakaroon ba ng void sa space and time continuum?!  

ano?! ano?! haha! nakakinis lang kasi, parang kumurap ka lang, biglang trapik na eh, ugh! pero you know,

Iniisip ko na lang minsan, na nagdadahan dahan na lang yung mga drivers kasi MADULAS ang daan, tsaka MALIIT,yun lang yun, yung daan ah yung daan! haha!

 May isang time nga nung nag dyip ako, nakilala ko na lahat ng nakasakay eh, syempre sa first name lang, but stiil, kahit anong sanay mo na sa trapik, maiinis ka pa rin eh, parang sa love, kahit ilang beses ka nasaktan, masasaktan at masasaktan ka pa rin haha! boom! lol!

[themclutter-blog]

Hi, my name is....umm..<insert name here>

Okay okay, so this thought just crossed my mind.So before I used to think that I only have one name, then later, I have discovered that I have two, and I was like

Anywho, it really just crossed my mind, cause before, when  every time I introduce myself to someone, they usually hear another name, that usually ends up to being spelled wrong, which you know, kinda ticks me off.

Anyways, nowadays, when I introduce myself, I kinda get the opportunity to choose of what name I can use, cause ya know, people won’t mishear it or at least would get it right. But during the process tho, especially when I’m being asked of what my name is, I usually say “ummm...” and then my name, which kinda sounds douchey, cause it seems that I’m giving a fake name, which is not, well it actually depends on the situation, but most of the time I just tell em’ the truth :)

[poems-and-words]

[poems-and-words]

[thelovejournals]

You can’t force love, I realized. It’s there or it isn’t. If it’s not there, you’ve got to be able to admit it. If it is there, you’ve got to do whatever it takes to protect the ones you love.

Richelle Mead, Frostbite (via thelovejournals)