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crustacean-warlock

Reminder:

aw man really

fuuuck

What would you rather do?

5 years of college (engineering)

Sit inside a bathroom stall for 4 hours (no entertainment)

Babysit 5 children for a week (2-7 years old)

Present a self-written speech to 25 000 people

Skip 30 years forward (you disappear, then reappear at your current age in 2054)

Voting ended onApr 22, 2024

UM WE FORGOT THE OTHER TWO

atomicrow

tumblr when a new pathetic man drops

autisticbabayaga

My most referenced meme is actually this sign from a furniture store's going out of business sale in my hometown.

theramblingvoid

Why don’t I hear more about undead beings coming back to warn people? It’s always zombies wanting to drag people down to join them in the grave, ghosts seeking vengeance, spirits trying to chase people out of their domains - but if you died horribly and were left rattling around some spooky mansion for eternity, wouldn’t you want to stop people from blundering into the same death you had?

You feel a cold breath on your neck as you get in the car. It won’t leave until you fasten your seatbelt. An unseen force catches your foot as you pass the fourth step every time you walk up the stairs. During a renovation, you find out the wood is rotten. You can never find a pack of cigarettes - even ones guests bring disappear from their pockets and are found weeks later on the lawn, empty. Your daughter is giggling and laughing at something unseen, chasing after it away from the cliffside on your family hike. You don’t know why, but you feel compelled to leave a spare hairband and some stickers on a picnic table as you leave the park. Tribute? A thank you? The items are gone by next time you visit, and you swear a happy child’s hum follows you home on the breeze.

…More preventative hauntings. It just makes sense.

frozenartscapes

Everyone is convinced the old house on the hill is full of evil spirits because anyone who tries to sneak in gets the ever loving shit scared out of them by the craziest poltergeist imaginable

Turns out the house had massive structural issues and was just one door-slam away from caving in on itself and the ghost was trying to keep people safe

Once the house did finally collapse the ghost moved on to the old abandoned factory that never had its industrial waste properly disposed of

Eventually the local inspection unit gave it an honorary OSHA certification

cripp-tid

I hate you "click now to sync contacts". I hate you "sign in with Facebook". I hate you "connect with your Twitter". I hate you targeted ads. I hate you social media algorithms. I hate you brands and mascots with accounts. I hate you "upgrade to premium". I hate you free trials that require credit card info. I hate you pop up ads that take up half the screen. I hate you ads with sound. I hate you unskippable commercials. I hate you anti-piracy firewalls. I hate you late stage capitalism.

damonalbarngirl

i wish i was a character on a silly tv show so gay people on tumblr dot com would psychoanalyze me for free

that-house

i have a terrible habit of sometimes just doing 100 squats in the shower. It’s right on the intersection of “hard enough it’ll fuck me up tomorrow” and “easy enough to be done on a whim” and i always regret it

that-house

See part of the issue is when i shower i look at my legs (which are like if a pair of festive christmas hams were solid muscle) and then i remember “oh yeah i can do 100 squats like nothing”

that-house

The process:

Woah my legs are jacked

*does a squat to grab shampoo*

Hey what was that

One squat is BASICALLY 5 squats. like just do it a few more times without really noticing and bam! 5 squats

Might as well do 5 more that’s an even 10

That wasn’t so hard

Make it 20

5 more to a nice round 25

Hey that’s a fourth of 100

We can do that again. Let’s take a quick break and do the next set