In My Head @thenaturalbornkiller - Tumblr Blog

punstoppable punishment

An oddly wholesome tinder experience

Context: I’m playing a high charisma tiefling planeswalker bard in a society which frowns upon tieflings, dm says to disguise, especially since she had just escaped arrest for being a tiefling that insinuated she fucked their diety, which she did.

DM: roll deception for your disguise to work *noticeably not asking what my disguise was*

Me: *rolls a 33* ahh, sweet success

DM: oh by the way, what exactly does your disguise look like, you have a kit, right?

Me: *sweats* yeah i have a kit

DM:.. okay so what did you make with it?

Me: *mumbling* its.. uhm.. its a sticky note stuck to her forehead that says “innocent” on it.

DM: No.

Me: C'mon please?

DM: You fucked their god. Its not gonna work.

Me: But I rolled a 33.

DM: No.

nashvillehotshrimp

I’ve posted this before, but I will never be over it.

beewatch-deactivated20200725

wheretheeternalare

Why do people still say “this doesn’t fit my blog theme but I had to reblog anyway”? It’s almost 2018. Who gives a fuck. Who even has a coherent blog anymore

pamisleyphd

Reblog if you’ve never had a coherent blog and got no intention of starting that shit now

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear

I had a “theme blog” for literally one afternoon and then I discovered Doctor Who memes and it went downhill SO FAST

humansofnewyork

“Having twins made me a more relaxed parent. When you watch two kids grow up at the same time, it makes you less concerned about benchmarks. Each of them had different talents and struggles. He could do all the physical stuff first. We had to put a net on the crib because he was always climbing out. He could swim first. He learned to ride a bike several years earlier than her. But she was potty trained first. She was reading by the age of three. And she was much better at drawing pictures– her fire trucks always had four wheels, and his were just red scribbles. If I’d only had one child, I’d probably have been obsessing over these talents and struggles. I think every parent needs to feel like their child is special. But twins made me realize that all children grow differently. And it’s absurd to rank and classify them at such a young age.”