in which your relationship with them was always cut short by death.
heads up: death, AUs, certain mentions of witchcraft, some take place wayy back in time, suicide, f!reader, i'm trying to make some of them gn!reader
characters: isagi yoichi, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, michael kaiser (there were more but i HAD to get this out of my drafts im also lazy asl)
isagi yoichi - a kiss goodbye
summertime sadness - lana del rey
a respectable woman and a soldier. that's what you and isagi yoichi were.
many looked up to you, you were a kind soul known throughout the kingdom you lived in. a friendly and comforting aura radiated around you, drawing attention of fellow residents of the kingdom to you. you were friendly and sociable, providing the poorer residents food, cash and your company to make sure they were doing well. children would come up to you, asking you to accompany them as they walked around the kingdom, and you would never decline. you were a joy to be with, and many loved you. not only that, you were gorgeous. men tried to ask you to go out with them, but you always politely declined, and they never were mad. you were just so respectful about everything you did, that they accepted it understandingly.
isagi was a soldier, one that was of a high, respectable status. he defended and protected the kingdom from any threats, throwing attackers in the prison walls, and becoming a layer of protection for the kingdom. those who lived in the kingdom knew of his contributions to the safety and peace, bowing to him and complimenting his efforts to make the kingdom safe for all. kids looked up to him, many would shout how they wanted to be a knight just like him. isagi would rub his neck in embarrassment, but still fully support the child's choices if they really wanted to go on with that dream.
so, a kind and respectable woman and a humble soldier, how did they collide?
you were kneeling down near the fountain in the town square, braiding a little girl's hair, adding flowers as the finishing touch as isagi was patrolling around the kingdom. he spotted you, braiding the hair so easily and smoothly, just the to little girl's liking. the child squealed in excitement, hugging you so tightly while profusely thanking you. you hugged her back, smiling widely, telling her to always come back if she wanted another hair style.
isagi watched this scene, and his heart couldn't help but flutter at the sight of you treating the girl like royalty, and the beauty of your actions stood out. he was standing at the sides, just watching you smile sweetly towards the girl. isagi saw you around when he patrolled the kingdom, and his attention was always captured by you.
just then, the brother of the little girl ran up to isagi, shouting about how he really admired him, and aspired to grow up just like him, making great contributions and protecting the kingdom. just like he always did, isagi stayed humble, muttering about how it was just his passion for protecting others. he too, knelt in front of the boy, petting his head, and assuring him that if he truly wanted to become a knight too, he could always come to isagi. now it was your turn to marvel at isagi's friendliness towards the children, smiling to yourself as you thought about the several times you'd passed him, always bowing to each other.
isagi caught your eye, and a smile formed on his face. seeing this, you couldn't help but smile back. with this simple interaction, the love between you too rooted itself and began to grow.
now, it no longer seemed like a coincidence when you two passed by each other. you'd sit at the fountain, staring at it's ethereal beauty and isagi would meet you there, sitting with you. a comfortable silence would take it's position, but you two would talk. night or day, isagi found himself waiting for you at the fountain. it became your meeting spot for each other, maybe sometimes tossing a coin into the waters to wish for something.
"i wish, that we can live together peacefully." you muttered, throwing your small coin into the fountain.
"i wish, that we'll have a nice family together." isagi muttered, also throwing his coin into the fountain.
the coins caused a ripple of the clear waters, sinking to the bottom. you and isagi loved each other. that was clear enough. your smile made his heart beat faster and quicker, his smile made your cheeks go redder by the second. he told you he loved you, right by this very fountain. you two gazed up at the moon, the moonlight reflected off the waters.
"it's beautiful, isn't it?" isagi asked softly. you nodded, your gaze focused on him now, just to see he was looking at you. you grinned back at him.
"you know, we should get married, have two kids, and live in a really nice house by the sea." you giggled. you and isagi laughed over the idea, but a serious undertone was clear. both of you were intent on marrying each other.
and so, isagi proposed. the two of you were to get married in two months, planned by you two, at an beautiful garden.
but, two weeks before the marriage, war struck. news of several kingdoms raging war on each other spread around. isagi was called to defend the kingdom, and he had to leave. before he left, he gave you a kiss goodbye. holding your face tightly, he kissed you hard, and you reciprocated. with that, he hurriedly rushed out onto the battlegrounds.
two weeks since the war started, the day of your expected marriage came. but isagi was not heard from. the land was battered and dusty, rubble from destroyed buildings covered the ground. fire was spread out in the town square. the fountain that you and isagi met up every day, was destroyed. you had run out into the open space, as your house had begun to crumble with the attacks fired near it.
amidst the fire and chaos, you spotted the familiar face of isagi. he spotted you too, relief washing over his face as he thought you might have been killed with the attack directed to your house. he begun to run up to you, you ran towards him, and you caught isagi mouthing 'i love you'.
you wanted to scream it back, but isagi's face distorted into one of true fear. you hadn't noticed, but an enemy soldier was pointing a gun at you from the side.
isagi ran at full speed towards you, hugging you down and tackling you. the sound of the gunshot rang in your ears, and you braced yourself, but you didn't feel any pain.
because the bullet went through isagi's head.
in a pool of blood, you were screaming his name, begging him to wake up. your face and hands were full of blood, and isagi was unresponsive. his blood-smeared hand had a ghostly touch, holding your face as his body went limp on top of yours while blood from his head bled out onto your face and neck. you got up and dragged him towards a safer place, but you too had a wound on your leg, making it harder.
soon, another soldier pointed a gun towards you, shooting the bullet through your head.
there you lay with isagi, in a giant pool of blood. your white dress torn and tattered, blood seeping into it, and isagi's uniform was scraped, with blood running down his neck. coincidentally, both your lifeless eyes faced each other, as the wounds on both your heads spilled more blood.
you never got to say a proper goodbye, you never got to tell him 'i do' today, holding his hand in the garden. the last thing you two ever did was share a kiss goodbye, unaware that was your very last you would ever share with each other.
you never managed to marry, have the kids and the life you desired, just your two lifeless bodies facing each other in the chaos of war, in a puddle of blood.
and to think it was your wedding day today.
itoshi rin - a siren's blood
a siren's voice was known to be deadly, one would gravitate to it upon hearing the hauntingly melodious tune of the song they sang. those who lived near the seas were taught to be weary of them, to prevent one from going to the sea and never returning.
itoshi rin learned about these legends and warnings since he was a child, he lived near the sea. rin never believed in it, he lived here his whole life, but never once has he seen even a glimpse of a person in the waters singing. he also heard about how they were disliked by many in his town, they killed dozens of people. so, he grew to dislike sirens, though he never believed in them. and rin never wanted to meet one.
rin was sitting on a rock on the shore, the light of the setting sun making the water glisten, the orange sun hung on top of the never ending ocean. the waters were dark, and rin found comfort in it. he didn't know when it started, but the slow faint hum of an enchanting voice echoed from the waters. rin, curious, started shifting from his place on the rock, to the sound. and slowly, your head emerged, eyes darting around to check for any attacking humans. your hair fell to your shoulders, and your scales shone with the sunlight. you caught rin's attention. he'd never think he'd actually see a siren in his life. your mystic appearance was unknown to his eyes, and a graceful song poured from your lips.
rin couldn't help but stare at you, your body rising from the waters slowly. maybe he started shifting towards your voice, but he noticed that from his place on the rock, he'd shifted to a spot on the sand. this was dangerous, he was slowly getting enchanted by your voice.
your sharp eyes locked onto his, and it sent a shiver down his spine. maybe you'd chosen a target, and it was him. the melodious song rang through his ears again, and he found himself making his way into the waters. the beach was secluded, and no one else was there to stop him. rin was in a trance, the next thing he knew, he was waist-deep in water, nearing you in the dark abyss of the waters.
you slowly descended underwater, bringing a dazed rin down with you. his air became restricted but all he could do was gaze into your piercing eyes, and the song you sang faded into the background. you don't know why, but you couldn't kill rin. sure, you targeted him and lured him into this state, but the look in his eyes.. was just immersing. rin stared at you like you were a treasure, despite the fact he was running out of oxygen, he looked like he longed for you. his eyes were full of emotion and life, like of a curious child with their future to live. rin's vision began to blur and fade, his eyes began to shut. maybe this'll be the day he dies, meaningless and silent, rin thought. but that wasn't his last thought before he blacked out.
'she's so beautiful..' and just with that, rin blacked out in the dark waters.
the next thing rin remembered was choking out water on the sandy shore of the beach where he previously was, with you at the side, a worried look on his face. when he spotted you, half of your body in the water and half on the sand, he understood the situation, and backed away quickly. still drenched with water, rin glared at you suspiciously, and you thought that was your sign to leave, so you retreated back into the waters, leaving rin wondering if this was all a dream. that night, rin couldn't sleep, he swore that he would never return to the beach in his life, and shuddered at the thought that he almost died. however, a part of him bugged him, why did you let him live?
no matter what he said about not ever returning to the beach, rin found himself back on the same rock he previously was, staring at the waters, waiting for you. he was anticipating your arrival, but was never sure if you would even return. rin thought right, you appeared in the waters again soon after. you were headed towards the sandy shore, but upon spotting rin, you began to retreat back, unsure if he were to attack. he noticed that, making his way to you first, trying to show a sign that he meant no harm. still hesitant, you stayed put, making rin come towards you. you remained still as he was in front of you.
"what do you want." you muttered out, your voice was haunting, it sounded like the echo in a long corridor of a castle. rin couldn't help but be surprised, in his mind, he never expected you to be properly capable of human speech. well, he decided to go straight to the point.
"why did you spare me?" he asked curiously. you had a look of surprise on your face, not expecting that to be his question. "you lured me, and i was in your hand, so why didn't you just kill me?" rin pressed once more, determined to get the answer. you had to look away, your wet hair falling at your shoulders. "cause i couldn't bear to kill you, and see your eyes turn lifeless." rin was shocked. you didn't want his eyes to go lifeless?
you further explained that you liked how his eyes reflected life in it, and you couldn't bear to extinguish the flame of life in his eyes. rin never realized how much emotion his eyes conveyed, and hearing you, a siren, explain it to him opened his eyes to it. so he invited you to sit on the rocks, you complied, tail flapping around to grant you comfort. and slowly, you bonded together.
rin would wait on the rock for you, and you would arrive, climbing up the rock to sit next to him. sure, you were a siren, and he was a human, but rin couldn't help but gaze at you lovingly. he realized that he loved you, but he would never be able to live with you forever. of course, you were a siren, and the people in his town despised them.
so rin wanted to keep you two a secret, to avoid you being hunted. he told you he loved you, and you admitted that too, but both of you knew that it wouldn't last forever.
one rainy day, rin arrived late at the beach, the rain cause the streets to flood slightly. while he was walking to the beach, an acquaintance of his ran up to him.
"rin, rin! the town council's hunter caught a siren on the beach! they're gonna kill it, then donate it's corpse to the museum, come, run and let's see!"
rin's heart dropped, and suddenly he ran to the beach at full speed. sure enough, you were caught in a giant net, the whole population of the town crowded around you. they were cheering for the hunter who caught you, while you were thrashing around in the binds of the net. rin arrived, and somehow, that was when the hunter decided to start the party.
he took a sharp spear, stabbing it straight in to your lower back, causing you to let out a shrill scream as blood spurted out from the wound. rin disliked seeing other peoples blood flow out from a wound, and he hated the sight of yours leaking onto the sand. his shouts for you were drowned out bye the cheers of the public, as more attacks were imposed on you, causing pained shouts and screams from you. your body was filled with countless cuts and stabs, blood bleeding from it profusely.
you had given up fighting back and thrashing around, just succumbing to the end that was near. your face on the sand, the sand was now a deep red, the nets that bound you were also colored red. your tail was sliced with many cuts, the occasional twitching of it would cause another spear to be pierced at it.
you knew your death was near, you felt warm. as you lay on the sand, you saw rin, sobbing and crying at the rock, where both of you met. he was watching you, realising you made eye contact with him, he started to sprint over. your hand reached out slowly, muttering his name softly.
rin never got to hold your hand before you died. he was sprinting over, when the hunter stepped on your back, making the last blow. he pierced the spear right through your heart, causing you to spit blood from your mouth, letting out a final scream, before bleeding out, the life leaving you.
rin watched you take your last breath, he watched the spear go through your heart, he saw you mutter his name when he was running over. the crowd dispersed, and the hunter decided to leave your body on the shore, your body was too tattered to use as a specimen in the museum.
rin sat by the net, tears flowing down his cheeks, as your eyes was longer filled with the life you had when you conversed with him, as his lost the spark of life that made you spare his. he touched your cold, webbed hand lightly, and stains of blood transferred from yours to his.
maybe, he thought. if he came earlier, would you have died? would you have avoided the slow, agonizing torture and death? rin blamed himself. he should have arrived earlier, maybe the monster he loved wouldn't have died.
but in the end, a siren and a human's love will never last long.
itoshi sae - a memory to forget
ever had a memory too traumatic to keep with you for the rest of your life? no worries! just visit the shady building by the street corner! the workers there help you to erase memories that you never want to keep with you anymore, and you'll be good to go! is it legal? of course not! it's highly unethical, but the demand keeps it going!
itoshi sae is one of the workers over there, maybe say hello! he won't respond though, his cold personality with little to no care for any situation is the main reason why he works there. he's numb, and doesn't care of any sort. even the most traumatic memories he's seen, the most reactive he's ever been was the slightest eyebrow raise.
the centre receives several customers, those taunted by delusions invoked from childhood trauma, survivors of war and many attacks, those who simply wish to be free from a bad memory that's followed them all their lives. sae complies with all, he has no reason to refuse any client. sae has seen many memories, haunting, heartbreaking, of all sorts. he sees it all, but never has a reaction, like other workers who may throw up looking at those memories, he's the star worker for a reason.
but sae sees and sees and sees, he doesn't respond. but slowly by day, it builds up within him, it grows and grows. what he sees, the different types of trauma within others, the gruesome scenes in one's memory. it expands in him, and one day, the nonchalant front he puts on will crack.
and it does, the day you walk into the building.
clients who arrive at the building, are required to fill out a form. what is it that you want to erase? and they check out boxes to identify the category that the memory belongs to. their full government names are required, and background information on them is surveyed. the clients then make their way to a chair, let them be interviewed by a worker, to gain further insight. they are put to a quick sleep, as the workers use high-end and illegal technology to scan through their memories, finding the specific one they want to erase. the worker is required to watch through the memory, for further confirmation that this is indeed the memory the client wishes to forget. no matter how terrifying it is, workers are forced to sit through it, pays them good money. and sae is an excellent worker in that field. once the memory is confirmed, the client is put into a short coma, where their memories are erased. subtle questions are asked, to prevent poking too deep into the empty spot where the memory once was, to prevent it from returning. it takes two weeks to recover well, in order to make sure even the boldest question does not trigger the return of the memory.
pursed lips and uneasy eyes, the cool air of the building invites you in. your steps are light and quiet, making your way to the reception. your voice is soft, making short inquiries about this building. sae was walking out of his recent client's room, and the sight of you stopped him in his tracks. his childhood sweetheart, right before his eyes.
the last he'd heard of you was that you went missing seven years ago, no trace of you was ever found, and you were presumed dead. sae was worried tremendously, but he eventually came to terms with the fact you'd run away. after all, in between the kisses you two shared, the hugs you two gave each other, you'd told him you wanted to run away. from all the expectations, the pressure, the restraints on you, so you could breath freely. in his mind, sae wanted to go along with you, but when you disappeared, he figured you wanted to lift those chains desperately, resorting to working at this centre to cope with the absence of your warmth. with time growing, several crime cases being documented, sae grew more anxious, with every one of the dead bodies documented, he started to fear that one of them was indeed, you. and so, sae prayed for a sign, that you ran away, not becoming an unidentifiable body found in the woods.
and his prayer came true.
the fact you were in front of him, destroyed all the fear that you were indeed dead. you looked like you were anxious, but he noticed you got paler, weaker, frailer.
sae realized he stood in the middle of the hallway too long, and you noticed his presence. he muttered your name slowly, in disbelief. regaining his composture, his cold tone returned, but you could sense the concern and worry in the faint undertone.
"what are you doing here? you're presumed dead."
what sae said seemed to strike a nerve, your face and body tensing up as those words left his mouth. he noticed it, noting that something must have happened the seven years you disappeared.
"never mind that. are you gonna check my memories?" you asked quietly. sae nodded in response, eyeing you suspiciously. "okay, that's good." your voice lacked emotion, sae remembered your voice being so warm, that he could tell how you were feeling just from hearing it. leading you to the room, he wondered, what truly happened to you?
once you lay on the soft white bed, a sense of comfort that you haven't found in a long time washed over you, and the nostalgic feel of having sae beside you once again was comforting too. an awkward silence seeped between you two, and sae was the one who broke it.
"so, mind telling me why you show up here after going missing for seven years?" sae muttered, voice sarcastic, but curiosity seeped into the question. glancing at the form, sae raised an eyebrow, seeing that the check placed on the form was on the box 'government'. not only that, the timeline for the memories you wanted to erase was winter of 2026-2027, three years ago. he briefly remembers a news article about how that winter was one of the coldest in a decade. many didn't leave the warmth of their houses as snow piled on the grounds, leaving several layers of white ground growing higher and higher. sae studied your eyes, they no longer had the passion and burning desire they once had, just left with a void of loneliness, you looked lost.
you ignored his question, shuffling on the bed, as sae let out a sigh.
"i'm going to check your memories now okay? just go to sleep."
putting you to sleep slowly, sae noticed how your troubled expression didn't fade as you went to sleep. though your face relaxed, it had the feel of worry staying. brushing it off, sae began to look into his computer to analyze your memories. "winter...2026 to 2027. december... to... february.." he muttered softly. his computer easily organized the memories by year. he just had to search for the specific timeframe of winter.
and sae pressed play, unknowing of what he would see.
the memory, started off with your perspective, trudging through the snowy layers, shivering while your breathed out crisp white mist. you looked down, and sae immediately noticed that you were severely underdressed for the snow. all you had was a shirt and jacket, with thick pants on. and somehow just on cue, you blacked on onto the snow. when you awoke, you were no longer in the soft white snow, but on a hard bed frame, in an isolated shed. looking around, you spotted someone at the corner, busy handing something. raising your voice to ask him where you are, you don't receive an answer. only watching the man walk up to you slowly with a needle in his hands, as you tried to retreat from him, shuffling on the bedframe. it was of no use, the man grabbed you by the neck and injecting you with the needle, your screams started muffling before you vision turned black. what was happening in your memories reflected in sae's eyes, he watched as you were dragged by the workers into a laboratory, various experiments performed on you as you screeched in pain, struggling to remove the restraints placed on you as you were laid onto a table, while they injected several substances into your veins. sae's eyes widened drastically, and when he got a glimpse of the name on the outfit a worker was wearing, he felt like throwing up. it was a centre run by the government, the one this very centre sae worked at was avoiding, and this is how he found out the government was secretly exploiting captives, making them undergo painful tests for something they wanted. and what stung worse is that you were one of the people who had to suffer through them, the one he loved so much, had to suffer.
suddenly, it clicked to him. you were taken during the winters so cold that no one dared to go out of their house, no one would notice a thing. not only that, you somehow escaped the laboratory, and it put a question to sae's mind, were you wanted by them?
you woke up soon after, avoiding eye contact with sae. but he surprised you first, by wrapping you into a warm, tight hug that engulfed you completely, causing tears to pierce through your eyes, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. no words were needed, his knowledge of your suffering told you that he was trying to comfort you, and tears threatened to escape his eyes, not that you could see.
"it's alright, i'm here. cry it out." sae muttered, allowing your sobs to surround his ears, while your broke down, trembling in his arms. you missed sae, you missed the comfort he would bring you, the gentle kisses he placed on your face, the hugs that nearly suffocated you. you missed him, and he missed you too. in between the silence, sae knew you ran away. he knew, and he knew your escape led to something far more terrible, but it's okay now, he's here. you're here with him. sae missed your expression lighting up when you saw him, he missed your scent surrounding him when he hugged you, he missed you reciprocating his kisses. so, sae held your face gently, before smiling slightly, and pressing a longing kiss on your lips, too quick for you to reciprocate, too full of emotion for you to be surprised at it. the kiss was a bold statement of his love, his yearning for you, and it was just what you needed to make you smile. you press a kiss to his forehead this time, and he chuckles lightly.
just as both of you could share more of your love for each other, a siren started to blast around the building, the lights turned a bright red, and several announcements echoed. the emergency exits started to open while you spot several workers running to them.
you started to worry, and looked into sae's face, just to get some relief. but his face contorted into one of fear.
when people are hired here at this building, they have to remember one situation. if the members of the government ever find out of this centre, the one thing they must do, is evacuate. they can leave all the technology behind, it doesn't matter, but they have to save themselves, escape and leave no trace of themselves behind.
you gripped sae's shoulder tightly, trying to jerk him back to consciousness. "sae, what's wrong?" you asked anxiously. no words were spoken from him, just him dragging you out of the room quickly. shouts echoed through the hallways, and one of the voices you recognized. the very people who held you down while they injected several fluids into your arms were in this building that you had resorted to in order to escape them. your hands began to tremble, and you started to run, for your life, for peace, to escape the hell you went through. sae knew, this was the one situation he prepared for when working here, but the fact that you were here invoked a sense of responsibility, he knew about your suffering, and he knew you trusted him with every might.
sae couldn't let you down, maybe he did many times before you ran away, but he was not going let lead you back into the suffering you already endured. and so he ran, gripping your wrist tightly, never to let you go. despite the several armed intruders thatgot in his way of escape, not once did his grip on you falter. he took shots to the back and to the arms, blood seeping through his white blazer, but he didn't care. all sae needed was to get you to safety, and then he could die happy.
you both ran, for your lives, the light of the emergency exit peeking through the corner of your vision. you were close, you could escape, be free, stay with sae for the eternity you wanted. the exit neared, the light of day seeped into the red ambiance of the building.
you put a hand on the door, the certainty of escape held right in your very hands. you turn back to drag sae through the exit, but you realise that his hand was no longer on your wrist. in fact, down that corridor you two were running in, there sat sae in a chokehold by the very two abusers you had to be near during your captivity. a gun to his head, sae's eyes darted to you, trying to tell you with his eyes alone, that you needed to escape. but you couldn't. you could faintly make out the murmurings of the two men saying stuff about you returning to them and sae gets to live, but you tuned it all out. oh sae, you couldn't bear to see his eyes widen with fear at you nearing them slowly.
internally, you made a choice, you dashed to the two men, trying to wrestle the gun out of their hands. your efforts were futile, one of them, strong enough, grabbed you to face sae directly.
"fine. see his eyes go lifeless." the man muttered.
"leave. now!-" sae shouted, practically begging you, before his shout was cut off by a deafening gunshot.
you watched blood spurt out from the side of sae's head, as his body jerked to the side, landing on the floor with a thud. his eyes were still on you, as you screamed his name, struggling to fight off the man's grip on you, to run back to him. blood pooled under his face, some dripping down his face, staining his skin a brown-red colour. your screams were drowned out, your mind focused on how sae's eyes were truly going lifeless. you were slowly being dragged away from sae, writhing in the grip of the man dragging you.
"sae!" you screamed, tears flowing out of your eyes in a constant stream. you watched sae's magenta eyes, they still followed your movements, but they already lost the light of life. you were dragged away from his body completely soon after, but you never managed to see the tears in sae's eyes as you left.
he couldn't protect you once again, give you comfort once more. and you didn't manage to erase the memories you put so much effort to try, and you didn't get to see his smile once more.
michael kaiser - a red flash
the star of the century. renowned, it's not possible you find someone who doesn't know his name. he's everywhere, billboards, posters, your favourite movie, a cameo in a music video. he's paid a great sum just to be in the video for five seconds, and it always reaches popularity. sometimes it seems like a curse. without him, nothing will succeed. his face haunts the memories of people, good or bad.
michael kaiser, world renowned actor. his name casts a spotlight, catered just for him, follows him everywhere. michael has an untouchable aura around him, those in close vicinity with him are considered the luckiest in the world. handsome, charming, mysterious, he's all you could dream of. but he's mysterious, in a way that once not under the spotlight, no one knows where he is, and what he does in the darkness.
michael is never spotted without a camera, so it's interesting how you're in a small alleyway, hidden from the eyes of the public and spotting him sitting in a corner, next to a trashbin. first, you can't believe you just got a glimpse of michael kaiser. sure, you're not a fan, but of course you've heard of him. second, in an alleyway? he could be anywhere, but here? a shabby, dirty, musty alleyway? lastly, why is he just seated on the ground, next to a trashbin?
you walk past him quietly, maybe raising your phone in the slightest to take a snapshot of him, when he calls you out.
"excuse me, would appreciate it if you didn't take a picture of me." kaiser's accent is clear, but his english is perfect. you mumble several 'sorry's, before trying to rush out that alleyway. face red with embarrassment, you speed to the end of the alleyway, before you feel a tight clutch on your wrist. you don't want to look back and face the reason for your embarrassment, but you do anyway.
blue eyes stare at you, a pair that looks completely different from the identical pair of eyes you see on television. these are empty, dull. but still have the captivating elements to it. his messy blonde hair reached just below his shoulders, and maybe you stared at it for awhile while he mumbled words.
"excuse me, i asked if you knew where the nearest cigarette shop was." huh? his repeated question broke you from your trance, finally understanding he just wanted to find one. internally, you were surprised. THE michael kaiser smokes? at the same time, you weren't that surprised at all. everyone just wants an escape sometimes. you tell him directions to the nearest convenience store and try to leave that cramped alleyway, but stopped by his confused look.
for an actor with repeated awards, kaiser is kind of slow. maybe you really do have to walk through it step by step. so you gently grab his wrist and slowly pull him out of the alleyway, careful and considerate enough to make sure you two go through a route that you know for sure no one would be there. in fact, you were so considerate that you bought the cigarettes for him, just to make sure he (and you) don't get flooded by paparazzis.
walking out of the convenience store with three packs or cigarettes in your palm, you squint and search for kaiser in the agreed spot you decided. finally you found his blonde hair, and walk towards him.
"here, didn't know how much you wanted so i got you three packs. should be enough to last like 7 months right?" you murmured the last part, handing the boxes over to him, fingers touching slightly.
"these will last me a month."
kaiser's raspy voice lined with a german accent resounded in your ears as you tried to comprehend what he said. three packs?? a month????
"how much do you smoke in a day?" the question was asked out of concern but maybe, just maybe there was a little tone of sarcasm.
kaiser looked away, maybe it's a topic you shouldn't touch. you get up from the squatting position that you were originally in, preparing to make your way home. once again, a tight clutch formed on your wrist, kaiser pulls you back towards him.
he mutters something about it being so hard to just get cigarettes because of paparazzi and his reputation, you caught the gist of it while being enamoured by his blue eyes. instead of continuing to beat around the bush, kaiser makes a simple request.
"can we meet here, in this alley, every month on the-" his sentence pauses, looking up, as if trying to figure out something.
"what's today's date?" kaiser really is a little slow, but that's alright.
"the 22nd of december." you reply. "yeah, the 22nd, can you help me buy three packs of cigarettes?" you blink twice, maybe thrice, before weighing out the pros and the cons. the pros: meeting the michael kaiser every month. cons: paparazzi finding out about the two of you, kaiser's reputation being destroyed, his countless fans blaming you for buying him cigarettes and possibly something worse. it's a hard choice, the cons outweighing the pros, but maybe you can help kaiser, and maybe try to understand him, you were never a fan, but you always wondered how kaiser acts away from the spotlight, where the pressures of society continue to sit on his shoulders.
you nod slowly, still wrapping your head around the fact that you have to adjust your routine for this.
and so it started, every month, three packs of cigarettes, the same brand, the same cashier, how is she always the one that checks you out when you're buying three packs of cigarettes?? does she think you're crazy and with collapsing lungs?
kaiser's always waiting for you first at the alley, you never spend more than an hour at your meetings. though brief, you think these little short meetings do help you get closer to him. he always smokes at least two on the spot, and you get to learn about his perspective and his life under the spotlight little by little. and what's more ironic is just after meeting him in the alley, with his hair all messy and eyes tired, you see several commercials with him everywhere, completely contrasting to the person you just saw, this one appeals to the public eye.
and maybe, just maybe, you might start watching the movies he stars in more.
months pass, same three boxes of cigarettes, same time, same convenience store, same alley, same... cashier? maybe you shrugged it off at first, but progressively you notice that those fleeting moments where your hands make contact as she passed you the cigarette boxes, her movement becomes sharper, more fierce. and it's as if you can feel her eyes boring into yours as you arrive at the cashier and leave the store.
you wonder if you should start taking this more seriously, but you put it off, going to meet kaiser. from these few months, your relationship has definitely gotten closer, hell, you guys even exchanged contacts, away from the public eye, maybe you're falling for him! you don't want to admit it though, so you never bring it up. it's clear he feels the same, but both of you, too shy and to nervous to say anything, don't start anything.
but maybe you should've.
because one day, you finally noticed. holding those familiar boxes, you walked up to the cashier, placing those boxes and not saying a word. the cashier is unusually talkative today, you fade in and out of the conversation as it flows. all at once, your attention is caught by the few words that flows out of the cashier's mouth.
"the alley you two meet in is quite musty isn't it?" she whispers, words so low you barely caught it. you don't know her at all, you've never met her, never told her about anything at all, why would she know? all the times you've passed her, all the times it just so happened to be her checking you out of the store, the slightly creepy smiles she gave you, the growing tightness of her grip on the boxes, it comes flooding to you.
you don't know how, but somehow you start recalling, even just kneeling beside kaiser behind a trashbin, waiting for him to finish smoking, you could feel something weird, like someone's been watching you. maybe you shouldn't have shrugged it off.
the next thing you know, you're running out of the store past the alley that you're supposed to meet him at, clutching those familiar cigarette boxes ever so tightly, panting so hard and legs aching so much you wonder how you haven't collapsed yet. kaiser gets a glimpse of you, and chases after you, completely oblivious to the fact that someone else is participating in this chase too.
maybe your energy started to deplete, or you came to accept a certain fate, but you slowed down, stopping in the middle of a public shopping street. it would have been fine if it was just you, maybe passers-by would think you're weird and shrug it off, but no, because kaiser chased after you, all eyes were on you two. you didn't know where the cashier, or the stalker, was, but right that moment, you saw in kaiser's eyes, the glimpse of desperation and regret, he's back out in the spotlight, where he tried so hard to stay away from.
i forgot to mention, but kaiser actually went on a hiatus when you met him, an actual hiatus, the months that you two met up, he had avoided the spotlight totally, no commercials, movies, even just shots by the paparazzi.
so now, the running led to his hood to fall off, his face completely exposed to everybody, you don't know what he saw, but you can guess. menacing eyes boring into his skin, already forming scandals within seconds, passers-by already having their phones out and recording you two. though all those factors taunt him, he focuses on you.
"what happened? are you okay?" he screams over the loud noises of the crowd. you can't even reply him, the look on the cashier's eyes was burned into your mind, such a terrifying image that may never leave your memory, haunting your days. kaiser's biggest fear is the paparazzi, so thank god they weren't here, right?
several cars parked aggressively and quickly, the flashes from their cameras appearing faster than you imagined. there, kaiser was a deer in headlights, nothing could be done. first, he froze, unsure of what to do, then, he started covering his face with his hood, his arms, his hair, even the trash on the ground, anything would do. it was terrifying, seeing him ball up on the ground, reduced to a scared child. something wasn't adding up right in your mind though. how did the paparazzi come so fast? who tipped them?
the dots connected, fast. just standing there, frozen, as the truth and reality hit you. slowly, you felt something sharp poking your back, the cashier's sick face resting on your shoulder. no one could notice you, all eyes were focused on kaiser, and she knew that. she muttered in your ear words so soft you barely caught it amidst the sounds of the flashes and noises.
"your time with him is up!" her tone was joyful, and you wanted to scream at her, shout, slap her, do everything you could, before you felt that sharp edge pressing deep into your skin.
still in awe of what happened, you pressed your finger on your already damp top, your finger stained a dark red. somehow, kaiser knew something was happening, finally looking up, and seeing blood trickle down your back caused a scream to evoke from him. not a gasp, not a groan, a scream, a real scream. it wasn't pain really, but you felt yourself losing balance, kaiser catching you in time before your body could hit the floor. you could hear his anxious, panicked voice, trying to press and apply pressure on your wound to stop the bleeding, but his shaking hands failed to do it properly.
now both your hands stained red, all kaiser could do was to grab at you, hold your face and pray and pray, by some miracle you could be saved. all was drowned out, and he was desperate, physically grabbing onto you, as if trying to keep you from going.
everywhere red, wherever kaiser touched, became a blood red, he held you face closely to his, tears falling down his face and a new sense of desperation in his eyes, begging you to stay.
"please, please don't go. please, i need you to stay, i need you. i love you, i always have, i always will." kaiser finally said it. how much he treasured you, he loves you. and that brought tears to your eyes, never once did you think he would say it, but you had to say it back.
mustering all your strength in your arms and neck, you pulled his face close to you and kissed him one last time. his neck and face had your bloody handprints on it, but he couldn't pull away.
murmuring against his skin, you uttered your last words.
"i love you, promise me, stay on this earth, stay for me. i think i've got to go now." you muttered, a sad smile forming on your face, as your hands dropped from his face and your body slowly went cold. kaiser, in denial, started screaming and shouting even more, asking, begging for you to stay, but you can't turn back time, it was too late. he cried and sobbed on the street, holding your cold, bleeding body with everybody watching.
news came of a murder on the streets, and kaiser was on the headlines. they labelled you as 'kaiser's secret lover', and shots were captured of kaiser holding your body and sobbing on the floor, covered in crimson red. your funeral was held a week after, your family and friends showing up, and to no surprise, kaiser making an appearance. the paparazzi shot pictures of him making his way to your funeral place, dressed in fully black and a sombre expression on his face, eye bags clear as day.
those photos of him captured were the last ones ever shot, kaiser never making an appearance after the incident known as "the bloody streets", he was never seen again.
up to now, we don't know where he is, how is he, is he even still alive? but we do know, the promise he made with you was only shared between your bloody faces and the last kiss you shared.
author's note: HOLY CFRAP IM DONE IM DONE IM DONE I HAVE HAD THIS SINCE APRIL 2025 IM SO UNMOTIVATED I MIGHT STOP WRITING HERE BUT I HAD TO GET THIS OUT OF THE DRAFTS OK BYE SEE YOU NEXT TIME
