The Nether Lord

Theatre kid, band kid, choir kid, and All For The Game enjoyer. Welcome to my brand of chaos.

[willgrahamscock]

Your pronouns sound like someone clearing their throat

you guys find new ways to hate crime every day

[willgrahamscock]

[willgrahamscock]

my gender is now canceled everyone stop perceiving it

[thenetherlord]

i would do he/she but then that's like hershey's the chocolate company

[obscuresymbolism]

In a truly stunning display of bad manners, an audience member's phone went off during the performance today and she actually answered it.

She did not apologetically silence it, or excuse herself from the theater. Her phone rang and she picked it up to have a conversation. During the performance.

(And in a staggering display of professionalism, none of the cast members onstage cussed her out or even dropped lines.)

[thenetherlord]

if someone does that for my theatre shows all of us onstage are stopping, turning to the person, and STARING

[sinni-ok-sessi]

I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

[thenetherlord]

and i love how people have either the "normal" reactions (i'm a red heart & thumbs-up guy) but then there's the silly ones, like...

a guy in my theatre company always reacts with a hamburger

the bassist in my jazz band uses the kissy-face-but-cat

the lead guitarist (and my stand partner) in my jazz band likes the anatomically correct human heart

my friend since elementary school reacts with a baguette

[willgrahamscock]

[hanniballecterscock]

things are getting… spicy in the spice section

[willgrahamscock]

[thenetherlord]

as a summer camp counselor i have to say "were you invited to touch that?" many times so i can tell there were some INCIDENTS that caused that sign to be put up...

i also work at a grocery store that has a "grind your own coffee beans!" station and its so messy :/

[honeybeeofficial]

everyone say thank you ancient central and south american agricultural heroes for beans

[honeybeeofficial]

everyone say thank you ancient south american agricultural heroes for potato

[kawuli]

everyone say thank you ancient mesoamerican agricultural heroes for maize

[dragongirlteeth]

Also tomato

[thenetherlord]

say thank you to the Iroquois (Canadian Indigenous people in the Great Lakes region) for your fall favourite, pumpkin

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Conductor, to Drummer: Pretend you’re stirring soup.

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

*waiting on lights, chatting quietly backstage*

Stagehand: I think camels are the nastiest animal. They look like they’re plotting something.

Actor: Yeah, but a moose is mean! It can kill you!

Stagehand: Anytime an animal plots, it’s game over.

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Actor: Hey, my birthday’s coming up, maybe you could get me something nice…

Stagehand: How does getting smacked in the face by a set piece sound?

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Stagehand, unpacking a new prop: Oh, it’s… much smaller than I expected.

Stage Manager: Yeah, the surface area is kind of underwhelming.

Production Manager, walking past: It’s not the length that matters, it’s the girth!

*Stagehand and Stage Manager then both try to keep from making any inappropriate jokes about the prop’s… size… anytime they use it*

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Stage Manager: Are they gone?

Stage Crew: Yeah, I distracted them. Dumbasses.

[the crew had to fix the curtains but didn’t want the actors seeing or they’d make it worse]

[thenetherlord]

we threw candy at the actors and then ran to fix the curtains and they were never the wiser

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Actor, with guitar prop: I’m a discount Orpheus.

Stagehand: Play us something!

Actor: *plays the Star Wars intro lick by ear* That’s all you’re getting.

[thenetherlord]

the one time i became an actor was to be a discount Orpheus

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Junior Sound Designer: Hey, [Stage Manager], is [Senior Sound Designer] kind, and… patient, and… slow to anger?

Stage Manager: What did you do.

[turns out JSD pranked SSD by pretending they left the show’s USB drive at home, only to pull it out of their pocket]

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Speaker: These people must be paid actors, ain’t no way anyone actually cares that much about this.

*after receiving cheers*

Speaker: Damn, you guys are paid actors.

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Actor: Wow, it’s so hot in the theatre right now…

Pit Musician: Only because you’re here.

Actor:

Pit Musician:

Actor: *smacks*

[thenetherlord]

i witnessed this exchange it was so funny

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

*a random device is beeping*

Stagehand: I don’t know what’s going on, but here’s a plushie.

*places plushie on device. beeping stops*

Stagehand: I fixed it :D

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Happy disability pride month to everyone who suffers from disabilities of any kind, physical or mental, you guys are strong as hell and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, you’re awesome (this totally isn’t being said by someone who may be biased since I have ptsd but it’s not any less true)

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Bringing this back

[daysleftofsecondterm]

happy disability pride month on 934 days left

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Conductor: Okay, I’m going to go print some more sheet music. Warm up with the overture.

*the whole band ropes a younger student into “conducting” (in which said student just dances the whole time), soloists simply just play one note every few seconds like a foghorn, and the drummer and bassist almost get off time from laughing*

Conductor: Alright, I’m back, how did it go?

Trombonist: …it went!