The Neutral Face

I'm told I give the worst hugs.

[theneutralface]

A Cornucopia of Dystopia 

 (-_-)

[theneutralface]

Dating Advice

Just be yourself. Because odds are, you’ll end up by yourself.

(-_-)

[theneutralface]

I've officially dated more losers than Elaine. Can I go to prison now? (-_-)

[theneutralface]

Tongue Tied

I always think of the wittiest remarks after the party’s over and I'm having my teeth cleaned by an overzealous dentist. 

(-_-)

[theneutralface]

Readers on a Train

For the second time, I sat next to a stranger on the train who was reading the same book as me. 

Almost as thrilling as a murder swap. 

 (-_-)

[theneutralface]

Me for the next 4 years.

(-_-) --> (>_<)

[theneutralface]

What the Deuce: The Curse Words of Charles Dickens - The Millions

If Dickens had a favorite indecent oath, it would have been the oh-so-versatile D-word.

Best of all: he slipped the word Dickens onto book covers. 

(-_-)

[theneutralface]

I do not fear life as a cat lady.

(-_-)

[theneutralface]

Warning

Excuse me while I drop dead.

(x_x)

[theneutralface]

Misnomer

Secret’s out: I can’t fill the bra with my name on it.

(-_-)

[theneutralface]

High Anxiety

Looking forward to an afternoon therapy session followed by a screening of Vertigo.

(-_-)

[theneutralface]

I didn't fully relate to Austen's heroine until I saw her rendered in felt. (-_-)

[theneutralface]

Fraud, I Say

The mango ices at my local pizzeria taste suspiciously like peach.

(-_-)

[theneutralface]

You Can Never Go Home Again

I'm gone a few months and the whole damn place falls apart. 

(-_-)

[theneutralface]

Duane Reade: A Pantomime

Cashier: Can I get your number? 

Me: 

Cashier: For our rewards program. 

Me: 

(-_-)

[theneutralface]

Adulting

My To Do List consists of two items:

Schedule physical

Schedule vacation

(-_-)

[theneutralface]

Celebrating Children's Book Week with some creepy kid lit.

(-_-)