even the silence / has a story to tell you

fandom, diary, reading and occasionally roleplay help blog!

[theneverendings]

Currently Reading:

Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo

Last Read:

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

Favourite Book So Far:

Turtles All The Way Down by John Green

(will edit when this info changes)

[ormrinn-a]

Oxford, 25.01.20

[theneverendings]

UNDER THE CUT you will find five pairs of matching 100x100 clexa icons in a vibrant pink filter. you are free to edit these in any way you feel, as long as appropriate credit is given. ｡.｡:+

PLEASE LIKE/REBLOG IF SAVING

if you want more of this theme or personalized icons, hit up my ask or inbox and I will probably be willing to. just be aware that i do not do 18+ or nsfw requests. i am underage and it makes me uncomfortable, so please respect my boundaries <3

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: HOPE YOU ENJOYED. :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

[theneverendings]

UNDER THE CUT you will find six 100x100 icons of octavia blake. you are free to edit these in any form you feel, as long as proper credit is given.

LIKE/REBLOG IF SAVING o==[]::::::::::::::>

+ bonuses of lexa and alycia because why not!

if you want more of this theme or personalized icons, hit up my ask or inbox and I will probably be willing to. just be aware that i do not do 18+ or nsfw requests. i am underage and it makes me uncomfortable, so please respect my boundaries <3

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: HOPE YOU ENJOYED. :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

[dailyshadowandbone]

MAL ORETSEV | 1x04 Otkazatsya

[theneverendings]

November 14 2021 | 7:41 AM

Hello. Sorry for not making a blog in a long while, school and life in general has just been really stressful but quite a bit has changed in good and bad ways. First off, my family is moving soon. There's almost nothing to rent in my town so we have had to go to a smaller house. Sucks but there's like nothing we could have done. It's in a good neighborhood so that's what matters. I've started therapy and medication since my last blog. I'm very excited and I really feel so much better mentally. I still have to deal with my mother but I think things are finally getting better for me. They've got me on 10mg of Prozac currently and my mind just feels better. It's easier to get up in the mornings and go to school. I've still got stuff to stress about obviously but now I won't stress out about it to the point where I feel like I can't even move my legs in the morning.

Man can do what he wills,

but he cannot will what he wills.

Arthur Schopenhauer

I got that quote from TATWD. I really do love that book. It's helped me so much. Speaking of books, I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday with my dad and we bought the Trilogy set for Shadow and Bone and I got a paperback version of TATWD. I plan on starting SAB and tabbing it while I read and I'm not sure how I'm going to tab TATWD yet but we'll see.

Overall, I'm just really excited right now. School still sucks for me, I'm not doing that great but I really am trying to try. I hope things just keep getting better, but for now goodbye.

[sosuperawesome]

Jenna Barton on Instagram

[theneverendings]

October 24, 2021 | 9:28 PM

I was asleep for most of the day but my dad came for a visit. I was tired and it was really hot so the visit lasted only like an hour. We didn't have much to talk about. I love my dad but sometimes his presence makes me feel so bad. He's never shamed me but I see he works so hard, so much so it has physical impact on him. He's only 40 and his knees are basically shredded apart. All for me and my "brothers" And I just feel like a disappointment. He probably doesn't feel that way about me but, the way I am and my education is, it's hard to not know that I am. Atleast I'm self-aware but it hurts to tell yourself you're going to do better and then it's almost like you can't. I know he wants to say something but it's so complicated. We have a good relationship but we're so alike it hurts our relationship, we barely talk about our feelings and we know the other wants to but we can't. If that makes sense.

But I am not a failure as a human being or as a woman. In some core place deep within, I know this. I fail, yes. But I am not a failure. I disappoint. But I am not a disappointment. Yet when I find myself again in this place losing the battle for my beauty, my body, my heart - I can sure feel like a failure in every way.

Stasi Eldredge

It's quite different with my mom though. We talk alot but God, our relationship is horrible and neither of us know anything about the other. I would kill to understand her, for even a second, but I can't. She just seems so insistent on being angry at everyone and everything. I hate that she kicked my dad out, then he's kept on paying for absolutely everything, and she keeps on lying about his behavior to everyone. Before my dad moved out, I hated how at 5 AM every morning, my dad would brush his teeth so loud and clear his throat but now I miss it so much. I never thought I would but most times when I stay up, it's like I expect to hear their room door open. Then he'll brush his teeth, basically gag his own tonsils out clearing out mucus and he'll open my door to wake me up for school. But it never happens. And it's just me and this house. That even though it hosts me, my two sisters, and my mom. It feels empty. Grey. Unfamiliar. We're moving soon so maybe this feeling will leave, but maybe it'll get worse. We'll see, I guess.

[theneverendings]

In my fight

I hold the hilt and the blade,

I make the problem

Then come to my own aid.

poem by octavian | oct. 24, 2021 9:16am