[shitpostinguniverse]

[thenightembraceme]

just logging back on to tumblr after many years lmao why do I have so many followers help 

[squeerpia]

Meaningful quotes from Contrapoint's last video

[bunieboo]

Y’all don’t understand how fucking funny this is

[whatareyoureallyafraidof]

[kosmonin]

do kids these days know about glomping?

[catlips001]

What is that?

[m0uthslikesidewindermissiles]

hehe…. *glomps you* OwO

:3

[catlips001]

What the fuck?

[bemusedlybespectacled]

The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost; for none now live who remember it.

[anonymousalchemist]

job interviews: did you mean, advanced lying

[anonymousalchemist]

small talk: did you mean, normal lying

[anonymousalchemist]

the concept of the self: did you mean, secret lying

[copperbadge]

Don’t call me out like this.

[digitaldiscipline]

a to-do list: did you mean, aspirational lying

[copperbadge]

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

[theabigailthorn]

i give all the guys at my gym secret nicknames; they’ll never know but now you can imagine such iconic characters as: - Fresh Cut Kylo Ren - Captain Misogyny - Super Mario - Shady - Donald Glover - Mister Handsome - Dan Olson’s Dad - the Power Bottom - Designer™ - Discount Thor - Idris Elba - Luigi - the Three Stooges - Jack Fuckstick - Buff Jack Fuckstick - Jack Fuckstick’s Dad - Old Man, Look at My Life - the big dug - Maria Sharapova  - Mr. Game & Watch

[great-tweets]

👀

[monkeysaysficus]

They have nine beverages between the two of them

[polychromehana]

i have that painting ai app on my phone so i went ahead and took the liberty…

[jessthecheesewitch]

What they have are five beverages and four waters. Water, by definition, cannot be a beverage.

[queen-rot]

The fuck do you mean water cant be a beverage?

[jessthecheesewitch]

[okwait-deactivated20201120]

[ama-personal]

My brothers not havin it

[goawfma]

these are the best names

[todaysbird]

the best part of this is that it implies this is the SIXTH cat named glycolysis

[reynaisalesbian]

i could never be the victim in the horror movie that gets the ominous phone calls because i just literally do not answer the phone ever

[glixbitch]

Facebook: we analysed your entire internet history, tracked your location and took a deep dive into your personal relationships, and we’ve decided to recommend you this specific conditioner that you also saw in your local Tesco two days ago, aint that neat!

Tumblr: HEY sHITHEAD *slurring words* how would you like to buy  *throws dart* a gym membership for your *spins wheel* pARROT

[rickriordanrevamp]

I feel like we don’t talk about the OG text on this meme enough

[theequeerstrian]

What the FUCK

[lake-erie]

girl: come over me: i can’t, i’m using my sensitive barbels scour the riverbed for morsels of food girl: i hollowed out a nesting cavity under a flat stone me:

[dankmemeuniversity]

[fortunatefires]

Mr Ratburn from Arthur is gay! It was a straight bait and switch! Oh my god!

[fortunatefires]

Mr Ratburn and his husband Patrick

[officialqueer]

ARTHUR SAID GAY RIGHTS

[saunteringvaguelysideways]

[depressed-dudewitch]

We’ll see who smites who 👊✨⚡

[solobagginses]

Me, drunk at 3 am, yelling at Odin