Ginevra's Poet Potter

[theonlyrealthing]

ron: my god it’s pouring outside

hermione: oh well, i can use the time to finish reading professor flitwick’s new book!

ginny: want a fly, harry?

harry, already standing up: you bet!

ron: hey! i want in too!

ginny: oh hell no. this is our outdoor, in the rain date. enjoy your perfectly “dry” date inside, big bro!

*hinny left, roaring with laughter*

*ron spluttering*

*hermione causally flipping a page of flitwick’s new book*

[theonlyrealthing]

When Ron, Ginny and co were kids, Muriel would spent Christmas at the Burrow, right?

Well, one year, when Ginny was 6, Ron was being annoying to her on Christmas Morning.

Remember that kids has spontaneously bursts of magic? In a fit of anger, Ginny kind of drew her arm through the air, downwards a bit as she argued with Ron.

The next thing she knew, Ron’s hair had grown so long, it was exactly her length.

What’s worse is that Aunty Muriel chose that moment to poke her head into the room. Ginny, in a split second of ingenuity, hid in the closet.

So Auntie Muriel went, “Ginevra, how could your hair be in such a mess? Here, let me braid it for you.”

And ignoring Ron’s protests, Muriel pulled out her wand, and before long, Ron’s long hair were in 2 perfectly curled braids, and he was marched down to the kitchen by Muriel.

The whole table exploded in laughter, as did Ginny as she followed the two downstairs.

It took Arthur and Molly some 10 minutes to convince Muriel that it was in fact Ron, and 5 more to reset Ron’s hair back to its original length.

For the rest of Christmas, Fred and George never missed an opportunity to cocoon Ron or to try to stuff a bow atop his head.

It is one of Ginny’s most fun memories, and one of Ron’s most not fond memories.

[theonlyrealthing]

“Hi,” said Ginny, “we recognised Harry’s voice. What are you yelling about?”

“Never you mind,” said Harry shortly.

Ginny raised en eyebrow.

“There’s no need to take that tone with me,” she said coolly, “I was just wondering if we could help.”

—

“You’re too young,” Harry said, “you-”

“I’m 4 years older than you were when you fought You-Know-Who over the Philosopher’s Stone,” said Ginny, “and it’s because of ME that Malfoy is stuck back in Umbridge’s office with bats coming out of his nose”

— Ginevra Weasley, taking no shit from no one, not even Harry Potter, the chosen one/her crush since 11.

This, is precisely why we adore her.

[theonlyrealthing]

Headcanon: Hinny made visiting Godric’s Hallow a regular business.

In the first few years, Harry still wept hard every time he saw his parents grave behind the church. Ginny’s hand over his, and her arm keeping him close, is the only thing preventing him breaking down completely.

Later on, it became a more endurable affair, and because they were the most regular people visiting, Lily and James Potter’s headstones soon became the best tended amongst the entire graveyard.

Hinny also acquired ownership of both the Potter’s old house, and Bathilda’s old house, and refurbished both as war museums. To Harry’s delight, he even succeeded in finding some objects from when he was 1 year old that was left in the house, because apparently in the 2 decades since, no one bothered to remove them. Harry treasures these, for they are the only remains of the happy childhood that he ought to have had.

Meanwhile, Ginny made sure to build a chicken coup in the front yard of Bathilda’s house. A plaque at the gate reads, “We welcome snakes of all age and size, ancient beast or horcrux alike, because whoever you are the roosters are itching to meet you!”

But if you didn’t know any better, you’d just think Ginny enjoying breeding chickens at the old house.

[theonlyrealthing]

ginny: THAT FILTHY, CHEATING—

gwenog: calm down, ginny!

ginny: HE LITERALLY CLUBBED A BLUDGER RIGHT AT MY HEAD AS I’M AIMING

gwenog: yeah still, you can’t just go and hex an opposing team member

harry: gin! don’t do it-

ginny, instantly softening: well, if harry says don’t, then i guess—

harry: - without me! let’s go teach him a lesson, eh?

ginny: LET’S FUCKING GO!

gwenog: wait what—

[theonlyrealthing]

I sometimes think about just how much fun Hermione must have had during HBP

She COMPLETELY knew Harry is head over heels in love with Ginny— “Harry caught [Hermione] watching smugly as he laughed at Ginny’s jokes”— but she waited to see if the Chosen Idiot knows to go ahead.

She also knew Ginny is never gave up on Harry, but is totally waiting for Harry to make the first move. She must have gone “just kiss, you two”, but held it in as hard as she could.

Then, there is Ron, who is 100% oblivious that his best mate and his sister are dying to get down on one another. As much as she couldn’t believe how oblivious Ron was, somehow it made him even more loveable in her eyes.

Hermione Granger, sitting at the hot corner of the best drama in Hogwarts since 1997.

[theonlyrealthing]

harry: *sigh*

harry: i don’t wanna be with anyone

harry: i’m a marked man

harry: i’m destined to doom

harry: i don’t want to drag any unfortunate girl into the fate

harry: who would want to be entangled with someone whose life must include, or end in murder anyway

harry: i’m ready to be single all my life, if i can even have a life

ginny: hi harry!

harry: dean thomas how dare you get your hands off the love of my life you don’t know how to admire her face that is like a glowing sunset and her soft, sweet-smelling hair

[theonlyrealthing]

voldemort: i’m not invading hogwarts. this is a special military operation

ron: and i haven’t smashed your locket either, it’s a special swording operation

voldemort: wait—

hermione: and i certainly didn’t stab your mug, it’s a special toasting operation

voldemort: what—

ginny: i neither organised the entire resistance against your carrow cronies, nor fucked harry. both of those are special hotness operations

voldermort: STOP—

harry: see riddle? no one’s buying your shit. i call this a—

hinny, romione: special FUCK-YOU operation

voldemort: NOOOOO

[theonlyrealthing]

Headcanon: Hinny likes to take time shopping in a muggle supermarkets.

It came about cos one day Harry wanted to find one of the rare candies he could enjoy while he was with the Dursley’s again, while Ginny also wanted to try something different from the wizarding she’s so used to.

Aside from the great variety of foods, drinks and snacks to choose from, the best thing about the supermarkets are their trolleys, which Hinny will take turns to jump onto the back of, skating along the floor, while the muggles stare in shock at two grown arse adults doing what their kids do.

But hey, it’s fun, so to Harry and Ginny, why not. And it’s still fun, even after Ginny has twice crashed the trolley straight into a pillar, and Harry had driven it into isles and shelves, sending the contents cascading down onto the floor.

It’s fun, cos it’s pure chaos!

[theonlyrealthing]

One of the greatest injustices of all time is that Ginevra Weasley, who at the age of 11, got possessed by and nearly KILLED by a Horcrux, never got the chance to destroy one herself.

Of all the wrongs the films did her, in this aspect the books treated Ginny just as badly.

[theonlyrealthing]

ginny: wanna hear a joke?

harry: sure

ginny: punched

harry: i don’t get it

ginny: you will if you don’t move over RIGHT NOW, you’re literally blocking the door with your huge arse

[theonlyrealthing]

ron: statistically speaking, the probability of the canons winning the championship this season is .283

hermione: statistically speaking, the minimum wage of house elves are still WAY below reasonable level!

ginny: statistically speaking, imma need 3 people to stop me punching remilda vane in the face next time she asks me how big harry is

harry: statistically speaking, 8 out of 18 years of my life have seen someone/something trying to kill me

[theonlyrealthing]

Some Ginny-hate content I’ve seen aren’t just completed baseless and without book-support.

They are so deeply misogynistic— “She slept with so many guys, she’s not fit for the Chosen one”, “Nahhh Harry Potter doesn’t need no tomboy”— stuff like this actually said.

It’s would have been funny, if it wasn’t so alarming. Not least because some of these seem to be uttered by girls.

[theonlyrealthing]

Step 1) Realise Hinny are in there 40s.

Step 2) Realise I’m just one or two years older than James Sirius Potter.

Step 3) Enter an existential crisis of not being able to decide whether I wanna be BFFs with Hinny, or if I straight up want to be their kid.

[theonlyrealthing]

If I ever visit Britain again, fuck that Platform 9 3/4 stunt at King’s Cross.

All I wanna do is find the telephone booth that descends into the Ministry of Magic, and get Mr. Harry “head-auror” Potter and Ms. Ginevra “head-quidditch-correspondent” Weasley to sign the handle of my garden broom.

[theonlyrealthing]

demilza: how do you get boys to like you?

ginny: no idea

demilza: pull the other one!

ginny: i’m sirius. i just act as i want and talk as i want, it’s not like i WORK HARD to get someone to fall for me

demilza: including harry?

ginny: including harry.

[theonlyrealthing]

hermione: no harry, you CAN’T just let ginny copy your essay

ginny: oh COME ON hermione, it’s not like i’ll copy it word for word! i just need some inspiration it’s all, and anyways i can write much better sentences than he can

harry: why am i offering to lend you my essay again?