i know this question is a bit weird/maybe private? so feel free to ignore. my friend has recently been gaining a bit of online fame that's started to get into irl recognition etc etc & is struggling to deal with it. most of their network/friends haven't had to deal with that kind of thing so they don't have anyone who really Gets It - do you have any advice for them? or things i can do to support them?
This is a HUGE topic I can't begin to do justice to right now. We actually run a whole dedicated training program for our major talent on it. Best I can do here is try to keep it at a Triage level with the warning that I am an incredibly small fish in an incredibly tiny pond and I am still terrible at dealing with this on a personal level.
Things for your friend to know:
1) Ask @jonnywaistcoat, he is MUCH better at that side of things than I am.
2) Never EVER seek more personal fame, only brand/work fame. If you treat personal fame like a negative side-effect/necessity of your work/position you will keep a healthier brain space.
3) Fans are not friends, even if you want them to be. There is a power imbalance that cannot be redressed and it is irresponsible for you to act or think otherwise.
4) Remember that you are not famous, your brand is. People like (or hate) who they think you are but they don't know you and it's incredibly difficult to get someone to see past the brand and actually know you.
6) The more famous you are the less generous people will be in their interactions with you. i.e. you are guilty until proven innocent.
7) Just because someone is a fan does not automatically mean you owe them what they feel entitled to, you have to consciously consider it every time.
8) Relationships that pre-date the fame or with people who are unaware of your fame are safer. (Although you may at some point need to warn them in case fans try to get to you through them.)
Things you can do to help your famous friend :
a) Help them sanitise their online presence. With their permission, get online and do your best to investigate them as if with hostile intent, then help them get rid of whatever might hurt them.
b) If you find yourself in fan spaces that relate to them DO NOT mention you are their friend. You will end up being treated as their gatekeeper, borrowing their clout and paying for it with their reputation.
c) Do not ask them for favours. They are going to be inundated with such asks and will be feeling very commodified and vulnerable.
d) Offer them normality when they want it. Normal hangouts, a private dinner etc. It goes a long way.
e) Try not to be alienated from them if you can't directly sympathise with the issues this brings. In my experience dealing with celebs who are properly famous, the more fans they have the more lonely they can feel.
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