Once 12, Never 19
Today would be like any other day
You would sit in the windowsill, sunlight painted over your fur like layers of watercolor
From the top of the tree, on the L shaped platform, down to the circular bed, you follow the rays of the sun until they disappear
And then, you rest
At the foot of my bed
Underneath the covers
And by the time the next morning came you would be in my arms
You would sit in the windowsill, sunlight painted over your fur like layers of watercolor
And the next day would happen, and it would be like any other day.
You would be 19
You were never 19.
Once you were 12, and every day was like any other day, until the day it was not.
The tree stood alone, and the sunlight bathing it cast no warmth
There was no imprint at the foot of my bed
And no cat in my arms
Nearly 7 years gone, I'm forgetting your face
Photographs persist but no details remain
I puzzle together the patterns on your legs
The color of your paw paws
But each iteration is different
Remembered slightly wrong
Not remembered at all
I wonder if I'll ever get it right
Today I sit alone in my room
Two cats downstairs, but none of them you
The sun paints the windowsill where the tree used to stand
Today, you would be 19.