[therandompenguins]

[therandompenguins]

There’s “word salad,” and then there’s dumping the bowl into a giant fan and blowing salad all over the wall. 

[therandompenguins]

I’m sure of it.

[therandompenguins]

There’s going to be a lot of “what the hell happened” nonfiction in about four decades.

Penguins with People Problems - get the book!

[therandompenguins]

If you’re a penguin who identifies as a peacock, so be it.

[therandompenguins]

Bringing this critter back to say: A bunch of authors are doing the *opposite* of a boycott and going TO North Carolina this Wednesday, 5/18, for an awesome “Kill the Bill” party. We’ll speak out against the discriminatory House Bill 2 (aka “the bathroom bill”) and have drinks, snacks, readings, and a generally great time in support of Malaprop’s Bookstore, a variety of nonprofits, and the equality of all people. Read more about it here -> https://imissyouwheniblink.com/2016/05/09/lets-kill-the-bill-shall-we/ -- and if you’re anywhere near Asheville, please join us. You’re ALLLLLLLLL invited!

[therandompenguins]

Me right now.

[therandompenguins]

Happy World Penguin Day

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Purple Rain

[therandompenguins]

Congratulations to Lin-Manuel Miranda on the Pulitzer Prize! 

[therandompenguins]

Anxiety symptoms include: Losing two hours of sleep to the thought, “One day, Elton John will die.”

[therandompenguins]

Headline: Lena Dunham Will Publish Books Under Her Own Penguin Random House Imprint

Well then. She’s going to need a random penguin, isn’t she? 

[therandompenguins]

One day I will remember not to wear lipstick when I go to the dentist. Today is not that day.

[therandompenguins]

Happy Easter!

#penguinswithbunnyproblems

[therandompenguins]

When you’re a germaphobe taking care of a sick loved one like, “Aww -- there, there. What can I bring you? How can I help? NUH-UH NOT A HUG STEP BACK 10 FEET RIGHT NOW DON’T MAKE ME PUT YOU DOWN.”

[therandompenguins]

A fun way to respond when someone says, “You can’t do that,” is, I JUST DID.

[therandompenguins]

Have you voted yet? Hurry! It matters. 

[therandompenguins]

I... I think I like a Justin Bieber song.

So I’ll just be over here questioning everything I’ve ever known about myself.