crawfish til the bitter end @therealthundercunt - Tumblr Blog

I was at your best friend’s funeral today

I cried when you spoke of your love for her and your depth of loss

You wore a bright butter-yellow dress with a manicure to match

Trying to create sunshine where there was none

But your toenails were aqua

I didn’t know her well, but I know that was her favorite color

The color of the calm ocean as it begs you to swim

The color of the tropical waters she spent so much time exploring

The color she associated with beach vacations with her family

with you

I wonder if you’ll keep repainting them or let them grow out

Grieving again as you clip away the last of the blue

Another reminder of the relentless march of time

And everything we lose along the way

dogpuppy

the-introducer

dampfnudeldove

shot in the HEAD. and you're to blame. You are not good. At dart game

moniquill

Biodiversity can be achieved through executive dysfunction!

mclennonyaoi

whos the dyke in your pfp this time? :O

steve buscemi

tonyalmeida

the-bright-path-deactivated2021

tearlessrain

sure cats 2019 is an abomination unto the lord and should never have existed, but I don’t think any of you were prepared for the absolute hell that would have been unleashed on us all if it had been good. there would have been catsonas. there would have been so much nsfw cats fanart. a dangerous rift in the veil between furries and non-furries would have been created with no way to seal it again. there would have been new and terrible kinds of discourse we’ve never even seen before and now mercifully never will.

this was for the best.

mckitterick

sometimes - very rarely yes but sometimes - we’re reminded this isn’t the absolute worst timeline

computationalcalculator

The worst timeline is the one where Cats (2019) was good and was released while Glee was still on

bluebonnet-witch

I think I just felt a cold wind rush across me like an omen of what might have been.

fruitandfitspo

roozmatazz

We’re only a month away from Halloween so I’m gonna start telling these jokes and if someone asks me why I’m going to say that they’re Halloween themed jokes. If they say it’s not close to Halloween yet I’m gonna say that it’s always Halloween

tikkety-tok

Harsh, but I accept it I suppose.

youkoartemis

[Transcription: Speaker is a blue-eyed older man with dark blond hair that falls down his back, a round face, and a moustache and beard combo with some gray hairs amongst the blond. His voice is deep, and a bit choked up at points.]

“These are my red flags for women:

If she stabs me more than twice.

If she has a concerning amount of ex-husbands who died on their honeymoon, like... [a brief pause for thought] Like four or more.

If Gozer the Gozerian asks me to choose the form of the destructor and then one of my childhood crushes walks through New York City at 300 feet tall, uh, and steps on a church... [takes a breath and pauses for a second] I mean, it’s not the height! It’s not the height. I like a climb. But, like. [another breath] She stepped on a church. Or any building, really, ‘cause. [deep breath followed by a brief pause] Legally they’re not supposed to be able to ask you about that on like your homeowner’s association application, but- but they’ll ask. They’ll look it up.

If she doesn’t exist in the same physical timeline as I am... [several seconds long pause before continuing, sounding distraught] I’m not doing that again.”