Hello! I'd like to ask you a question regarding your book.
So, before I go any further, I'd like to clarify that I have been through a lot of trauma in my life, and because of this, I have been diagnosed with a personality disorder. I try my best to live life as normal, but since this disorder affects my daily life as much as it does, it can be hard sometimes. I am in therapy to help me cope, but it is still a large part of my life and how I interact with people.
That said, I have been dating this girl for around a year now. She knows my past and she is very understanding of the struggles caused by my disorder, and she is patient with me when I'm having a bad day. Our relationship isn't unhealthy by any means; even when I do get afraid that she will leave me and get extra clingy, she is able to reassure me, and in return I listen to and help comfort her through her problems. Even in the occasional conflict, we are able to work it out and I own up to the fact that my disorder may contribute to it sometimes. By all means, we have a pretty good relationship... or at least we did, until about a week ago.
Here's the issue. Recently, she's randomly stopped talking to me. She gave no warning for this, she's blocked my number on her phone, and she's barely even looking at me. I'm trying not to assume the worst, but whenever I try to ask her what's wrong, she says that me asking this is somehow a "red flag". Whenever I say I'm worried about her, she says it's a "red flag". Whenever I even tell her I love her and I want to work this out, she says it's a "red flag". I'm so confused... when I asked her why she's saying these things, after saying that it's another "red flag", she said that she read some self-help book online that made her realize that I'm a bad person for her...
I'm really worried about her. Up until just a week ago, everything was fine, and we've never really had any lasting conflicts. I'm scared that she will leave me and tell everyone that I'm toxic. I've told my therapist about this, and even she agreed that I haven't done anything wrong. Please help! I don't want some arm-chair psychologist on Amazon Books to destroy my relationship with my girlfriend just because they think my existence is a red-flag.
You sound to me to be a great guy and certainly not in the red flag category. If you or your GF had read my book you would have read about specific very unhealthy behaviors that are considered to be a red flag warning.
All people deserve to be aware of what represents a clue to a possible bad outcome in a relationhip.
The fact that you and she have functioned so well together, and that you are in therapy, is an indication to me that your relationship has great potential!
Could you have done anything to upset her in some way?
Could she be dealing with her own stuff?
I hope that all will work out for the two of you!
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