Please could you help me to erase/revise bad and cringe things ive said and done? My whole life is so embarrassing. Im so cringe, i hate it
I was falling asleep right in the middle of my somewhat strict professor's class when he asked, "Can I ask someone to come solve on the board... the one that starts with A?"
I was so exhausted from sleepiness that I put my hand to my face and replied, "anjo (? That's not my name, I don't know what the hell I was doing)."
He said, "Angel? Changed your name?" I WOKE UP IMMEDIATELY, WHAT THE HELL? Please i beg you I think i no longer believe in Law of assumption or past revision, but im so desperate it seems the only path to not be perturbed by myself. Im at college and now im know everybody will be judging me, I Hate me, my whole life was so embarassing (because of my embarassing behaviour like this), became worst in high school and i had decided that in uni i would be excellent, quiet and respectful, adult and madure, but im being so cringe, i act cringe just by existing.
I dont know how to manifest or revise anymore, i dont know how to know if something worked out because all of my memories make me feel and be cringe, idk how to know if something was really revised. I dont just dont want people to know, but i want these things to never happened, understand?
I dont know if i have faith in loa or shifting or void state or revision anymore, idk what to do with my whole life, i act like a dumb cringe character from euphoria or something, i hate myself, i just wanna wake up and see that everything that happened was just a nightmare and see im as "normal" as everybody around me
Im sorry for the long text and bad english
This is a master class in shitty self concept!
You're spiraling, and it's keeping you stuck.
Let's clarify a few things first:
No one is thinking about you.
I know that because of our anxiety and fear and doubts, every time we do something cringy or embarrassing, we automatically assume that everyone saw it and everyone's going to be thinking about it and talking about it for the next 20 years. No one is. No one cares. Everybody is busy contemplating and reliving their own cringe and embarrassing moments to give a damn about yours.
Another thing, my God it's not that serious. I know that to you it seems like this monumental moment in your life that changed the course of existence, but it's not that serious. It's not a big deal. It's literally a speck of dust in your life story. It won't be even a footnote in the history books of your life.
Now, as for how revision works and how you know it works, it is a simple as literally everything else when it comes to the law of assumption. You take a moment that you would like to change, you see it in your head as it happened which to you I guess is not a problem, and then you rewrite the story with how you wanted that moment to happen instead. Now comes the tricky part. Every time you remember that moment, the memory of how it happened will pop up into your mind. You need to swat that bitch away. That didn't happen. You shoo that memory away and you think about what actually happened which is what you would like to have happened.
That applies to any and all memories that you would like to revise.
The other thing I'm going to need you to work on is your self-concept. Saying that you hate yourself and that you find yourself cringe and embarrassing is the landmark of a shitty self-concept and that is keeping you stuck in the reality that you are trying to run away from. I don't care if you think you are the worst person alive, every time you think about yourself you're going to have to think positively. You are amazing, you are smart, you are talented, you are loved, you are adored, everybody loves you, everybody's jealous of you, everybody thinks you're the best person to ever exist. Everybody wants to be you. You stick to those thoughts and you practice them over and over and over again until they are ingrained into your very being. No more self sabotage. No more pessimism. I don't want to hear you saying that you hate yourself anymore. Because at the end of the day your reality is reflecting what you're thinking about yourself, and if you keep thinking you're cringe and embarrassing, you're going to have to keep living moments that prove that you are cringe and embarrassing. And if that's what you want to do with your life then that's on you baby. But if you want to change it you're going to have to change the way you think about yourself first and foremost.
You don't need to have faith in loa. You don't need to have faith in shifting. You don't have to believe in any of it. You just have to put it into practice. You have to do what the theories are telling you to do because if you don't then they are just theories and they are just words and none of it matters.