Merry Christmas, my dear followers!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
noise dept.

shark vs the universe

roma★
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
🪼
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
occasionally subtle
h
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Mike Driver
wallacepolsom

No title available
$LAYYYTER

No title available
cherry valley forever

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@thesoftestprincipality
Merry Christmas, my dear followers!
Merry Christmas, my dear followers!
send me ‘ mistletoe ’ for my muse’s response to being underneath mistletoe with your muse. specify whether it’s accidental or on purpose.
Anti-Holiday Starter Sentences!
Because not all muses like the holidays…
I just want to stay home and watch a movie or something.
I don’t celebrate it. It’s not a part of my faith.
Put that Christmas tree away, it’s not even December yet.
Full offense, but that tree is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.
This is all big commercial bullshit.
The only thing more stupid than Christmas is New Year.
The only thing different than any other day of the year is that on New Year’s Eve, you can get drunk off expensive champagne.
Your end of the year jokes are even worse than your (…).
Matching Christmas sweaters, my ass!
Any more tinsel and that tree’s going to look like a tinsel mummy.
There’s not even any fucking snow!
I’m not watching Home Alone again.
Take off the Santa hat, you look fucking stupid.
Is that a reindeer nose on the dog/cat/…?
I am surrounded by the biggest lunatics in the universe.
Who the fuck even came up with eggnog?
Go away. I’m not kissing you under this damn salad.
I wish I could just sleep for a week.
I don’t feel so well, I think I’ll have to skip on the family dinner.
Merry Christmas, my ass!
Will you just stop with the Christmas carols?!
I hope Santa gets stuck in the chimney.
You go party. I’ll just get drunk on my own with a hand down my pants.
I don’t even have a family to celebrate with, so what’s the point?
Most wonderful time of the year, my ass!
Send me a 🌨 for our muses to be stuck in a blizzard together.
Christmas Sentence Starters
Feel free to edit how you see fit! Happy Holidays!
“I baked Christmas cookies!”
“This calls for a snowball fight!”
“You know you don’t need mistletoe to get a kiss from me, right? Come here _.”
“Is that mistletoe?”
“I think the kids are afraid of Santa Claus..”
“Come take a picture with Santa!”
“So what do you want for Christmas!”
“I’m freezing, come cuddle with me!”
“Holding a mistletoe over our heads does not count.”
“How long have you been in that gift box?”
“This is the ugliest sweater I have ever seen. It’s perfect.”
“I don’t like Christmas that much actually.”
“It’s snowing!”
“Stop eating all the cookies, we gotta leave some for Santa!”
“Oh, aren’t the Christmas lights beautiful?”
“These carolers suck.”
“Why do you always bite the heads off the gingerbread man cookies first?”
“Look, couples Christmas sweaters!”
“Joke is on you, I’m already on the naughty list!”
“That mall Santa does not get paid enough.”
“Aw, look at you pretending to be Santa for the kids.”
“Wait up, Santa. Let me fix your hat~”
“There’s so many presents!”
“I.. I love it!”
“Getting married on Christmas- it sounds like a dream!”
“Oh the stores are crazy!”
“I made you some hot chocolate.”
“I’ll be home in time for Christmas, I promise.”
“Christmas brings up bad memories for me.”
“I’m so happy to spend Christmas with you this year.”
“It’s been years since I last celebrated Christmas.”
“I love the way you sing Christmas carols.”
“I hope you like your present.”
“Wanna help me decorate?”
“It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!”
“You don’t have anyone to spend Christmas with? Well this year you can spend it with us.”
“Looks like you got a little drunk off the eggnog, hm?”
“I’m not drunk!”
“These Christmas parties are always so awkward..”
“Oh you didn’t have to get me anything..”
“Don’t be such a scrooge!”
“Merry Christmas _. Will you marry me?”
“The baby is coming… on Christmas. Holy shit.”
“I have something wonderful to tell you, _. I’m pregnant!”
“Last time you tried to make Christmas cookies you almost set the house on fire.”
“Oh I could stay by the fireplace forever.”
“Our flight home got cancelled. We won’t make it home for Christmas.”
“You look freezing, take my coat.”
“Now why are you out here alone in the cold?”
“You’re gonna get sick if you stay out in the cold like that.”
“Let’s go sledding!”
“Oh the food looks delicious, _.”
send in "🎁" to see what gift my muse got yours for the festive period! if you're receiving this, let your imagination go absolutely wild! the sky's the limit! nothing's too crazy or too big or too small!
if you can't see the symbol, alternatively send in "you didn't need to get me anything!" !! ( even if your muse doesn't agree 😉 )
from sia’s ‘ everyday is christmas ’ album.
feel free to change pronouns / wording !
“ nights are getting shorter now. ”
“ you’re the angel on the top of my tree. ”
“ sing your heart out. ”
“ hoping all your wildest dreams come true. ”
“ it’s the cutest thing i swear you’ll ever see. ”
“ get dressed. ”
“ christmas is waiting for you. ”
“ we’ll eat all the candy canes. ”
“ we can dance. ”
“ there’s no can’ts. ”
“ ‘cause here, everything is possible. ”
“ don’t cry. ”
“ not in front of me. ”
“ don’t leave me this way. ”
“ i want you to know that i’m never leaving. ”
“ we’ll be freezing. ”
“ you are my home. ”
“ please don’t cry no tears now, it’s christmas. ”
“ i’ll catch you tonight. ”
“ you know you’re the only one. ”
“ there’s no one like you. ”
“ you won’t be needing me. ”
“ i’m trying to keep you safe. ”
“ you know i have got your back. ”
“ don’t forget us. ”
“ if i were a betting man, i’d bet a million on you. ”
“ you blessed us. ”
“ ho ho ho, bring a bottle of booze. ”
“ we got nothing to lose. ”
“ bring a friend if you please. ”
“ all the misfits and us. ”
“ it don’t get better than this. ”
“ we got nothing but this. ”
“ this is christmas, baby. ”
“ bring them all to their knees. ”
“ oh how much for the puppy in the window ? ”
“ i believe he sees a friend in me. ”
“ i think he’s waiting to come home with me. ”
“ found my best friend now. ”
“ puppies are forever, not just for christmas. ”
“ ‘cause they’re so cute and fluffy with shiny coats. ”
“ but will you love them when they’re old and slow ? ”
“ i will never let you go. ”
“ ‘cause now you are my family. ”
“ i’ve been waiting for you so long. ”
“ i’ll never let you down. ”
“ my sweet. ”
“ i know that you feel weak. ”
“ i know that it’s been tough. ”
“ i know you’ve had it rough. ”
“ tell me your secrets. ”
“ i’m santa’s helper and i’ve got your back. ”
“ all my love is gift wrapped. ”
“ don’t be scared. ”
“ i’m on your side. ”
“ give your fears to me, i’ll take them home baby and return them as sunshine. ”
“ i’ll bring you sunshine. ”
“ you gotta stop running. ”
“ your heart is safe with me. ”
“ i’ve got a crush. ”
“ come on over. ”
“ i wanna know ya. ”
“ run to me through the white night, ‘cause i adore ya. ”
“ it’s christmas time. ”
“ you and me here, underneath the mistletoe. ”
“ kiss me ‘til dawn. ”
“ hold me close, now. ”
“ you keep me warm. ”
“ you and me and holiday wine. ”
“ lovin’ you is a gift tonight. ”
“ everyday is christmas when you’re here with me. ”
“ i’m safe in your arms. ”
“ you’re my angel, baby. ”
“ you’re the gift that keeps giving. ”
“ you’re the joy in my holiday song. ”
“ when you smile, i can’t breathe. ”
“ can’t believe that you’re mine. ”
“ you’re all i need tonight. ”
“ happiness is ours until we die. ”
“ find a song. ”
“ hold them near. ”
“ for you know that this is really love. ”
“ love is the hardest. ”
“ love is a battle. ”
“ love brings out the best. ”
“ love is the greatest gift. ”
“ let’s kiss under the mistletoe. ”
“ i wanna rise to the fight. ”
“ i’m gonna love you in spite of it all. ”
“ love is a war zone. ”
“ i watched the snow fall from the sky. ”
“ i felt a tear slip from my eye. ”
“ i wished for just another night. ”
“ i can hardly breathe without you right next to me. ”
“ who’ll carry my christmas tree ? ”
“ wish i hadn’t let you leave. ”
“ it’s so chilly without you near me. ”
“ my everyday santa claus. ”
“ if this is what the season is bringing, then i gotta shoot through. ”
“ if christmas is so green and so red, then why am i so blue ? ”
“ saw your footsteps in the snow. ”
Winter Holiday Symbols
Send one of the following for a scene with my muse:
💍 – for your muse to propose to mine during the holidays 🧦 – to lay around in warm pajamas with my muse 🧤 – to let my muse borrow your muse’s coat to beat the cold 🧣 – to wrap a scarf around my muse’s neck to beat the cold 🌂 – to rescue my muse from the sleet ❄ – to play in the snow with my muse ☕ – to share hot chocolate with my muse 🍦 – to visit family with my muse for the holidays 🍲 – to take care of my sick muse during the holidays 🍾 – to share a bottle of holiday wine with my muse ❤ – to ask my muse on a holiday date 💔 – to break-up with my muses during the holidays 🎄 – to decorate a holiday tree with my muse 🌹 – to give my muse a bouquet of winter flowers 👄 – to share a kiss under the mistletoe with my muse 🎉 – to share a New Year’s kiss with my muse 🎀 – to go on a holiday vacation with my muse 🎁 – to give my muse a holiday gift 💎 – to plan a holiday wedding with my muse 📷 – to take holiday photos with my muse ⛄ – to build a snowman with my muse ✨ – to watch the Northern Lights with my muse 🎼 – to dance to holiday music with my muse 🎤 – to attend holiday karaoke/serenade my muse
CHRISTMAS SONGS SENTENCE STARTERS!
“ I don’t want a lot for christmas “
“ I don’t care about the presents “
“ I just want you for my own “
“ All I want for Christmas is you “
“ I’ll be home for Christmas “
“ Walking in a winter wonderland “
“ Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? “
“ In the meadow we can build a snowman “
“ I wish it could be Christmas everyday “
“ Santa’s coming to town “
“ You’re the angel on the top of my tree “
“ Santa’s coming for us “
“ Send your letters off to Santa, baby “
“ Tell him all your secret wishes, too “
“ Later we’ll have some pumpkin pie “
“ let’s be jolly “
“ Have a happy holiday “
“ Jackfrost nippin’ at your nose “
“ Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe will help to make the season bright “
“ Will find it hard to sleep tonight “
“ They know that Santa’s on his way “
“ Merry Christmas to you “
“ Have yourself a merry little Christmas “
“ From now on your troubles will be out of sight “
“ Through the years we all will be together “
“ It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas “
“ Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again “
“ You better watch out “
“ You better not cry “
“ You better not pout “
“ He sees you when you’re sleeping “
“ He knows when you’re awake “
“ Last Christmas, I gave you my heart “
“ I’ll give it to someone special “
“ Do you recognize me? “
“ It doesn’t surprise me “
“ I wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying, “I love you, “ “
“ But if you kissed me now, I know you’d fool me again “
Send “Those cookies were for Santa!” For my muse to have eaten the cookies left for Santa.
Alternatively: “I can explain-” for your muse to have eaten the cookies.
CHRISTMAS STARTERS
“Where has all the eggnog gone?”
“Do you want to decorate a ginger bread house with me?”
“The older I get, the more I understand the Grinch.”
“I bought matching Christmas pajamas for us!”
“I have wrapped like 200 presents and I am still not done.”
“I think the cat just ate some tinsel off the tree.”
“This is our first Christmas together and I want it to be special.”
“We can add a special ornament to the collection each year. This year’s is for our future baby.”
“Can you help me put the star on top of the tree?”
“What do you want for Christmas?”
“Is this an ugly Christmas sweater kind of party, or do I have to wear pants?”
“Everyone is drunk on rum and unwrapping the wrong presents.”
“If I have to bake one more cookie, I am going to scream.”
“You have sprinkles in your hair.”
“Did you know that candy canes don’t actually taste as magical as they look?”
“Let’s go for a walk and look at Christmas lights!”
“What did you get [ insert name ] for Christmas? I have no idea!”
“Is your family coming over for Christmas?”
“Can you help me set the table? The guests will be here soon.”
“It’s snowing on Christmas!”
“Can we make hot cocoa and watch a Christmas movie together?”
“Please hang up the stockings for the kids, so I can fill them.”
“Go ask mommy/daddy for a glass of milk for Santa.”
“You’re my best Christmas present this year.”
“I think the roast is burning in the oven and grandma is already drunk.”
“How about Christmas in a cabin in the mountains this year?”
“We should do a Secret Santa with the others!”
“TURN OFF THE RADIO, LAST CHRISTMAS IS PLAYING!”
“I’m Scrooge and I expect to be visited by a couple of ghosts tonight.”
“I’m glad we get to spend Christmas together this year.”
“No one should be alone on Christmas!”
Since it's Christmas Eve, in the next couple of minutes I'm gonna reblog some themed memes, which you're more than welcome to send me)
just an aziraphale picture, bc i love him and drawing his halo fifty million kinds of ways. and suspenders!!
••••••
𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔩𝔡 𝔤𝔲𝔞𝔯𝔡
❝I’ve been here before… over and over again.❞ ❝Each time, the same question. Is this it? Will this time be the one?❞ ❝Each time, the same question.❞ ❝Is this it?❞ ❝Will this time bet he one?❞ ❝And each time the same answer.❞ ❝I’m just so tired of it.❞ ❝You good?❞ ❝You travel?❞ ❝And I got you something.❞ ❝What’s that?❞ ❝Ooh, first edition Don Quixote.❞ ❝That couldn’t have been cheap.❞ ❝So, why am I here, _____?❞ ❝No, we don’t do repeats. You know that.❞ ❝It’s too risky.❞ ❝You look great.❞ / ❝You look okay.❞ ❝Thank you! Thank you!❞ ❝And I have something for you.❞ ❝All in. Here it is.❞ ❝No, no, no. Don’t worry.❞ ❝Admit it, boss. You missed us.❞ ❝It’s a job, guys.❞ ❝We can do some good.❞ ❝Have you been watching the news lately?❞ ❝Some good means nothing.❞ ❝I don’t know about this.❞ ❝We’re not helping.❞ ❝I know you needed a break.❞ ❝This is what we do.❞ ❝I’ll hear him out.❞ ❝It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.❞ ❝You haven’t aged a day.❞ ❝They reached out to me, and I’m reaching out to you.❞ ❝You can name your price.❞ ❝We’ll invoice you when it’s done.❞ ❝Peace be with you.❞ ❝Are we too late?❞ ❝Mother fuck–!❞ ❝What the hell?❞ ❝Look out! Reload!❞ ❝Everyone still with me?❞ ❝Very pissed off.❞ ❝We’ve been set up.❞ ❝One has to admire his attention to detail. The _____ were a particularly grotesque touch.❞ ❝I knew this was gonna happen.❞ ❝We did it right. For the right reasons.❞ ❝And what did it get us? What? Nothing.❞ ❝We’ve done nothing.❞ ❝The world isn’t getting any better.❞ ❝The world isn’t getting any better. It’s getting worse.❞ ❝I checked him completely, and everything seemed legit.❞ ❝They know who we are. They know what we are.❞ ❝We have to find him. We have to tie this thing off.❞ ❝And then what?❞ ❝And then nothing.❞ ❝The world can burn for all I care.❞ ❝I’m done.❞ ❝Get me some information.❞ ❝Keep it respectful.❞ ❝Don’t we always?❞ ❝Never hurts to repeat it.❞ ❝You do not disrespect your family by telling us where he is.❞ ❝There are no men here.❞ ❝To use women as shields is to be no man at all.❞ ❝Thank you for allowing us into your home.❞ ❝We will leave you in peace.❞ ❝Look at all this shit. It’s a jackpot.❞ ❝They wanted him alive, remember?❞ ❝Do not… Do not touch me.❞ ❝I’m trying to save you, man.❞ ❝A little help, please?❞ ❝Stay with me!❞ ❝God! Jesus, no.❞ ❝Come here. Stay with me. Look at me.❞ ❝Look at me. You’re gonna be okay.❞ ❝You’re okay. It’s okay. Stay with me. Just look at me. Look at me.❞ ❝Not another one.❞ ❝What did you see?❞ ❝I felt her die.❞ ❝It’s been over 200 years, why now?❞ ❝Everything happens for a reason, boss.❞ ❝We have to find her.❞ ❝No, we stick to the plan.❞ ❝So we just leave her out in the open?❞ ❝We’re out in the open..❞ ❝We’re the ones who are exposed now.❞ ❝You can’t tell me you don’t remember what it was like.❞ ❝Whoever she is, she’s confused, and she’s scared, and she’s more alone than she has ever been in her entire life.❞ ❝We all remember what it was like.❞ ❝She needs us.❞ ❝I’ll handle the retrieval.❞ ❝What do we do in the meantime?❞ ❝I’ll meet you there.❞ ❝I know I saw her die.❞ ❝A little blood can look like a lot.❞ ❝Let’s see the trophy.❞ ❝Fuck me. There’s not even a scratch.❞ ❝That what the doctor said?❞ ❝You’ve seen my research.❞ ❝What about the hard proof?❞ ❝Recovering an uncontaminated sample of the site proved impossible.❞ ❝But you promised me hard proof.❞ ❝There was an unanticipated amount of carnage.❞ ❝I think I can get you one.❞ ❝These are extraordinary individuals. They are extremely resistant to capture.❞ ❝Make a plan, make it happen.❞ ❝Orders just came through. They’re sending you to ______ for more tests.❞ ❝But I’m fine.❞ ❝Been looking for you.❞ ❝Why does it have to be so goddamn slow the first couple of times?❞ ❝You shot me.❞ ❝I need you to get back in the car, please.❞ ❝This isn’t real. No, none of this is real.❞ ❝You haven’t figured this out yet?❞ ❝You can’t die.❞ ❝Get up.❞ ❝Can you please not do that again?❞ ❝Who are you?❞ ❝You’ve got questions, kid.❞ ❝You want more answers?❞ ❝You want more answers? Get back in the car.❞ ❝Put those on.❞ ❝Where are you taking me?❞ ❝You’ve got blood in your hair.❞ / ❝Wonder why?❞ ❝This guy’s a drug runner.❞ ❝This the shit you into?❞ ❝Well, sometimes you gotta work with people you don’t wanna eat with.❞ ❝Is this even safe?❞ / ❝Does it really matter?❞ ❝Hey, boss.❞ ❝You find ______?❞ ❝Nothing but dead ends. He knows we’re hunting him.❞ ❝Keep looking. He’s doing the same to us.❞ ❝I have the new one.❞ ❝Well, she stabbed me, so I think she has potential.❞ ❝I’ll see you soon.❞ ❝So, why is this happening to me?❞ ❝I wish I knew.❞ ❝You said you’d have answers.❞ / ❝I didn’t say you’d like them.❞ ❝Are you praying?❞ *laughs softly* ❝God doesn’t exist.❞ / ❝My God does.❞ ❝You know, there was a time when I was worshiped as a god.❞ ❝Don’t worry. I can’t do shit like that.❞ ❝You said there were others. How many?❞ ❝You’re an army of four?❞ ❝So that’s why you took me?❞ ❝So that’s why you took me? So I could join your army.❞ ❝No. This is some bullshit.❞ ❝You must… you must have hypnotized me, or… or, uh, drugged me, or something.❞ ❝And that was a blank that you shot me with.❞ ❝And I was the one who cut your throat. Right?❞ ❝Listen, kid. You already believe in (god). You should just keep following that illogic.❞ ❝You’re already on board with the supernatural.❞ ❝If I were you, I’d get some sleep.❞ ❝We’re not going to Paris.❞ ❝Come here.❞ ❝Sit your ass down!❞ ❝Stand up!❞ ❝You do not listen to her. You listen to me.❞ ❝Trust me. She’s not gonna shoot you. I am.❞ ❝We can jump and survive.❞ ❝I am not jumping from a plane!❞ ❝You don’t speak Russian, do you?❞ ❝Because I told _____ to play dead.❞ ❝You really want to do this, kid?❞
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send ‘safe’ to learn about a moment where your muse made my muse feel safe.
☽ ANGST MEME COLLECTION ☾
Send me “PAIN” and I will generate a random number between 1-30 and write a starter for one of the scenarios on the list under the cut.
↳ WARNING: this meme contains triggers such as loss, abuse, violence & death
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