[the-quasar-hero]

Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications

[woodmeat]

Are you alive

Don’t ask me no personal shit like this

[imightjustbegone-deactivated201]

@ august please be a little gentle with me I’m so tired

[mogblin]

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

[iero]

T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY FOR THE PERSON I BECOME WHEN I'M OVERHEATED"

[frickomode]

they sell items at tjmaxx that even God is not aware of

[stupidestasshole]

Please stop using bugs to control reality

you are evil because you are weak

[swampreligion-deactivated202501]

i love my misandrist mother i asked her one time if she liked lord of the rings and she said “i’m tired of men going on adventures”

[solardrake]

which one of you is hovering your crosshair over me i can f⊹ucking feel it on me

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[greenlabcoat]

can you let me in pleeeeeaase. i promise i wont use my raptorial limbs to attack and kill you

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[anglaised]

it is so annoying being so self aware about all my issues like okay what now girl

[stupidrehab]

physical altercation my house 9 pm tonight

[gabrielagresteofficial]

What is your opinion on child neglect? Specifically in regards to your son

he has three whole pinball machines and i don’t even make him work for me anymore. what else could he possibly need

[avantgarden-er]

Me if i was a Sports commentator: okay so i would have done everything differently there at that moment. And correctly

[deco-devolution]

Andrew Ryan and Sofia Lamb seeing each other in hell but neither wanting to insult each other because they know the only reason they’re seeing each other is because they both failed