Getting older has me thinking things like “we can heal the world through soup.”
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Misplaced Lens Cap

if i look back, i am lost

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@whatacatch
Getting older has me thinking things like “we can heal the world through soup.”
I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over
can i matchmake you guys somehow?
Got a great ad encouraging people to dismantle surveillance equipment and then sell the guts at a pawn shop
The ocean is so fucking weird. Imagine if you were just living your life and then all of the sudden here comes one of these.
Here on land there are only so many ways a creature can move, and by the time you're six or so, you've seen pretty much all of them that you're ever likely to.
Down there in the ocean they can just do anything. You could see a new weird animal every week for your whole life, and then when you're 80 this guy rocks up to you.
I love this thing 💕
I saw a bumper sticker and thought “is that seductive Daffy Duck” and then when I looked closer I realized it was actually a fishing bumper sticker but also. also it is still very much seductive Daffy Duck???? somehow????????
I’ll never forget the time my parents said they were going out for a few hours, and left my siblings and me at home by ourselves (ages 9-14), and instead of going nuts or just sitting around, we all rushed and did our hair and makeup and got dressed as fancy as we could; sister pulled out the wine glasses and grape juice and made an hors d'oeuvres platter, another googled how to play poker, pulled out chips from a different game, dimmed the lights, and we set up a fancy 4-person gambling den at the kitchen table and played until my parents said they were on their way back with dinner. Then we quickly picked everything up, washed our faces, changed back into our casual clothes, and pretended nothing ever happened. They never found out.
Man, when we were left alone, I convinced all 4 of my siblings that we were the sole survivors of the apocalypse. I had them eating beanie weenies straight outta the can and shit. (I am not the oldest.)
finding a new doctor. applying for jobs. searching for apartments. messaging used car dealers. getting your health insurance to do their job. getting a pharmacy to do their job. getting the dmv to accept the documents they told you to bring. just listing things they probably make you do in hell
brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man
Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things
fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle
the author’s barely disguised job they worked in their early 20s
A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books