I deserve it all.

I joined the sugar bowl mid June of 2014 and I'm just having some fun documenting the the gifts and bullshit.

[mis-s-2-mach-deactivated2016081]

Expectation: High

I’ve been in the sugar bowl for almost half a year now, and it’s high time that I upgrade myself, the “product”, in order to rake in bigger fish out there. I have been in arrangements with men with money, but they’re not really the type who could show me the lifestyle that I so want to experience; nor were they the type who could give me a real allowance as opposed to “pay-per-meets.”

I have tolerated these pay-per-meet arrangements for all this time, not realizing that there are men out there who could really take care of me; and perhaps I was a little afraid, too, that they might decline my offer and I would end up not finding an arrangement at all.

But after meeting a sugar daddy who gave me an allowance above $5k, I realized that I needed to target men like him, not these small fries who think it’s such a pain to part anything above $4k a month from them. I want men who think $8k is an acceptable amount for an arrangement, and demanding anything less would be laughable. (They feel that their generosity reflects well on themselves.) I want men who could take care of me: securing me an apartment and paying the rent, getting me a car in my name and they would take care of the payment, tagging me along to prestigious events as his arm candy, and overall just giving me access to the upper class lifestyle. 

This means that I will no longer do the typical modus operandi: have lunch/dinner and then afterwards going to a hotel. As much as I wish I had the heart for escorting so I can make a lot of money fast, I simply don’t have it, because I can’t handle the stigma associated with it and how it would affect my emotional state since I can’t, in fact, separate “sex” with intimacy; I realized this after getting into my first serious relationship recently with my boyfriend. So, even if I will be sleeping with my sponsors, I will be seeing only two sugar daddies AT MAXIMUM (low quantity) and I will only sleep with those who are EXTREMELY GENEROUS (quality). 

With these 2 SDs, I will ask for no less than a substantial allowance and I expect them to open doors for me if need be. This will of course entail them knowing my full identity and vice versa. I’m honestly sick of being with men who can’t even give me their full name. I want to trust them, and I want to be trusted in return. I want complete transparency. 

Telling a potential that you want no less than $8k a month is surely daunting, but I think it’s all about how I market myself. “What type of sugar baby do I want to be? What benefits do I want to receive? Who is my ideal sugar daddy?” These are the questions I have posed to myself, and I have decided to become an sugar baby whose target market is men with actual money and aren’t afraid on spending it on someone they deem “worth it”. They’re not just looking for sex, but they’re primarily looking to have the “girlfriend experience.” 

When entering this type of market, I would need to transform myself. I would need to have a skinny-fit body, perfect teeth, long hair, perfect nails, etc. I need to dress my best at all times and have an engaging personality. I would have to make my SDs fall in love with me, or at the very least make them like me VERY MUCH. I would have to constantly read books and make them feel that they’re not just going out with a bimbo who can’t stimulate them. I would have to be fantastic in bed so that they’ll keep coming back for more. (I’m only touching the surface here; perhaps I’ll write a post later about the specifics of this.)

As with everything, I need to make small but consistent progress over time. I’m not going to change overnight, but what matters is that I make small victories each day until I reach the point where I’m comfortable asking for a $10k allowance because I know that I have built myself to be worth at least that much. 

I’m hoping to reach that point in about 6 months. By January of 2016, I will be a $10k sugar baby. People say that it’s hard to find men who will give you that much, but armed with the right assets and the knowledge of how to find these men (the latter, I’m not certain yet at this point; SA will do for now), I believe wholeheartedly that I can make this happen. I will find a way to turn this into reality.

I’m still in the early stages of this type of thinking, so there might be alterations in the future regarding how I think about this matter and how I would go about accomplishing it.

(That’s it. I’m spent. I’m done writing for now. For the past few weeks, I’ve been writing posts a middle schooler might write because I haven’t been able to concentrate enough to form coherent thoughts. But now that I haven’t taken my birth control for the past 3 days, I’m noticeably calmer now. LMAO.)

[amethystafrodite]

Motivation

[thecorporatebarbie-deactivated2]

I’m on the same path. I’m transforming myself into a whale baby lol. I’m gloing up.

[thesweetnessofsugar]

I loved reading this

[ultimatefineassgirls-blog-blog]

[thesweetnessofsugar]

Not much. Only $200 but it was a quick 45 min coffee meet-up. I wouldn't call him a POT since he's only in the country for 2 weeks and only wanted somebody to talk to since he was lonely. He's here for about 2 more weeks. I'm aiming for a couple more coffee meet-ups. I don't mind listening to him talk as long as he keeps the envelopes coming.

[thesweetnessofsugar]

Do you know how many times I've had POTs tell me that their previous SB's "moved to California" ?? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES?

[thesweetnessofsugar]

I guess today was ok

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

A lot of people are afraid to say what they want … That’s why they don’t get what they want.

Unknown (via eatingdisorderconfession)

[thesweetnessofsugar]

Current read. "You must remember that no matter how firm on inflexible the prices and terms seem to be, everything is negotiable"

[thesweetnessofsugar]

So I've found the nesting place for all POTs !! I've found the gathering spot !! I need to come here more often and dominate 😩

[thesweetnessofsugar]

Walking through a high end mall in the city and just saw a fellow chocolate sugar baby strolling with either a POT or her SD. If you see this ... YOU GO GIRL 😩😭

[thesweetnessofsugar]

Should I meet anyways?

Ladies I need some quick feedback. This man messaged me some time last week (he's from France) and he kept the message quick and simple. Basically he wants to meet up (he arrived in my city last night). The only problem is he's giving me nothing to work with. I'm trying to ask him basic questions so I can get a better idea of what he's seeking so I can make sure we're on the same page but I get basic responses like "yes I have, it went well. Looking forward to meeting you." Maybe it's a culture difference. He's been nice and respectful but at the same time he doesn't say much. I don't like to pass up an opportunity but I don't even know if this is even an opportunity. What do you guys think ?

[thesweetnessofsugar]

that awkward moment when your ex SD visits your profile and you guys are still friends and he thought you were done with sugaring. awkward moment when its pretty clear the profile was you.

even awkwarder moment when you know thats HIS PROFILE visiting yours LMAO

what is life?

[bronzedsugaruk-deactivated20170]

And advice for what to say as starter messages on SA? I don't wanna sound like its scripted but i don't wanna leave out my own twist. Is there any templates to help a baby get started for messaging? I'm looking for something h can use universal but add my own spice to it so each SA match feels special. Tracks in advance!!

I get asked this question too many times and I don’t like to answer it because when empirestatesugar ( I miss that chick so much ) was in the bowl she made a masterclass post on it. I tried searching for it on tumblr but not much comes up when you search her name. Luckily I saved this shit in  a word document like a year ago. I used this technique a while ago when I used to be active on SA and so many men pointed out how lovely and personalised my message was. ….Which makes me wonder what kind of message some other people are sending? (100% shade)

 The gold about the template below is when you personalise it to the a PrePOTs profile, he feels special ( he doesn’t realise that you basically sent the same shit to every man you have spoken to)

I’ll state the obvious and say you shouldn’t use this template. Make your own! 

So here it goes. May nobody ask me ‘how to message’ ever again.

All Credit goes to EmpireStateSugar, non of the material below is mine.

“Why I message

Realistically, everyone on these sites is talking with multiplepeople at once, but as humans we love to feel uniquely noticed. So the two keythings I try to remember for an initial spam message are to stroke theego and elicit interest. You’re doing a really great job withtaking initiative but now it’s time to crank up your messages and get theresponses you want and deserve, girl!

Think of an initial message like a voicemail. If you get avoicemail saying, “Hey it’s Andy. Call me back.” You’ll be like what does thisbitch want? If you get a voicemail saying, “Hey, gorgeous. It’s Andy! Haven’theard from you in a while. I have the FUNNIEST story to tell you. You’re gonnadie. Call me back some time tonight before 10pm or else I’ll be asleep. Can’twait to hear from you. Bye!” What are the key differences here? The first onelacks motive or reason and has no sense of urgency. You have no idea why Andycalled or what he wants. Consequently, it’s not enticing and it’ll either takeyou hours/days to call Andy back or you’ll text him and say “Hey got yourvoicemail. What’s up?” You never want a POT to have to ‘What’s Up’ (aka wtf doyou want) you! When people write on their profiles “Not a fan of endlessemails/texting” THIS IS WHY. Make your point and make sure your point is a goodone! The second voicemail not only makes the point but it leaves the receiverbegging for more. What’s Andy’s story? I’ve got to hear it! I might even walkout in the middle of class just to call Andy back and hear what he has to say.This is the difference between a green check next to ‘sent messages’ and aninbox full of responses.

When I Message

On SA, there’s a daily quota of how many messages you can sendso choose wisely! Winks are unlimited per day, but as I mentioned above, theyare the crutch of the lazy and unimaginative. Your words carry much more clout!Rather than wasting messages on men who are too cheap/indecisive to pay for apremium membership, always make sure that the yellow “Premium” is highlightedon the banner on his profile. This way he can actually see, read, and respondto your messages!

How I Message

This might go without saying, but don’t waste your time reachingout to splenda, salt, and meatsuits. Just because BigDickDaddy69lives 10minutes away from you and has a million dollar income doesn’t mean meeting withhim will be worth your time (but if you want a free dinner, go for it girl!).READ THEIR PROFILES. Ctrl + F for “sex”, “kinky”, “stamina”, and other TRIGGERWARNING: TACKY AS FUCK words. If he’s in the clear, move on to extractingtidbits about him that you find interesting – his career, places he’s visited,sports he’s into, activities he loves, etc. Ctrl + T his profile in a tab rightnext to the message you’re writing for him so that you can refer back to itquickly if need be (I say this because Doctor is technologically challenged andidk you might be too lol). While spamming out your daily email quota should nottake more than 30-60 minutes and you are not here to write each individual manan ode, you do want to have some specifics.

Who I message

Assuming I’ve found a premium member who is not a meatsuit,there are two categories that he’ll fall in: Silent Sam and Fun Freddy.

Silent Sam is the standard SA user who, for reasons of extremediscretion, novice sugar profile experience, weak self-selling game, or allthree, lacks a well-defined profile. His About Me and About You are brief andvague with phrases like “let’s talk”, “message me for more”, “Handsome, fit,gentleman seeks SB”, “looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement” or otherNO DUH type shit. He may have little to no photos, or, worse, have severaltailored-suit or beach bod selfie shots thinking that his looks speak for him.He is probably using a vague username like “NYCbanker” or a fake name like“Mike.” Although his hazy wants and needs are frustrating, he is not to bediscounted for reasons such as his high income/net worth, high allowance (or itmay be open/negotiable but his income is high enough), handsome photos, orideal location. Thus, I conclude that Silent Sam has the potential to be a goodSD and simply needs me to extract this from him.

Fun Freddy, unlike Silent Sam, details his love of Russianballet and need for an SB who shares it at length on his profile. Indeed, hiswants, needs, hobbies, etc. are described explicitly on his About Me and AboutYou which are each a solid one or two paragraphs at least. He may have severalphotos, or still have little to none for needs of discretion or otherwise. LikeSilent Sam, his income/net worth, allowance, and location work well for you buthe has a leg up on Sam in that his personality and ideal arrangement align withyours as well.

What I message

(I’ve italicized the template and the rest is just content Iscraped from his profile)

Subject: Hey there, (Sam/handsome/nothing if he has noname or photos)! :)

Body: SO jealous that you live in Neptune! It’s a mere fourplanets away from me so I drive out often for the amazing rock climbing scene.Do you dabble in that at all? Unfortunately there’s not much of that on Earthwhere I’m from but it’s probably my favorite hobby. Have you ever been to Earthbefore? As a Management Consultant, I’m sure that you travel to several funplanets and I can tell there’s a ton I’d love to pick your brain about as I tooenjoy sight-seeing in various corners of our galaxy. I’ve enjoyed yourprofile thus far and would love to hear a bit more about you and your idealarrangement sometime soon.

Cheers,

Kelly Clarkson

^ Silent Sam is more time-consuming to message because you haveto pull teeth to fatten up your template. You can’t spew generic complimentslike “You’re so handsome!” or “You seem like a fun, active guy” when you haveno idea about either. You must rely a bit more on speculation. But thismessage does a great job of inserting yourself into the narrative of hislife. Now he knows that you’re available to meet for coffee in Neptuneoften. He knows you love to travel and he doesn’t have to feel shy about askingyou to join him on his bi-weekly business trips to Pluto. You also shoot him afew questions highlighting your interest in his life and give him action-steps(tell me more about yourself and your arrangement) to steer the conversationwhere you want to go and to give HIM a template for how to respond. Nothingworse than a message from a guy that says “How are you?” right? Ugh! This makes YOU have to do all of the guesswork. Don’t be that guy. Save yourbusy CEO the trouble and give him three or four key points to come back at youwith, which will be helpful as you’re trying to learn more about him in spiteof his blank ass profile. Ultimately, this message shows that you’re impressed withhim all off of a few words that he wrote down – what an incentive to divulgemore!

Subject: Hey there, (Fred/handsome/nothing if he has noname or photos)! :)

Body: I couldn’t help but gush over your profile! Notonly are your photos absolutely scrumptious, but you write so eloquently! It’sevident that you are an intelligent, successful, well-traveled gentleman whoknows how to have a lot of fun. We definitely share a lot of values andpassions in common. I LOVE that you’re a veterinarian – I have twopuppies myself. What made you want to study that line of medicine?Your photoline-dancing was very handsome! Have you ever tried salsa before? If not, I’llsimply have to teach you as it is my favorite form of dance :) You seemlike you’d be an absolute blast to spend time with and I’d love the chance tofind that out for myself. Can’t wait to hear more about you andyour ideal arrangement soon!

 Xoxo,

Beyonce

^ This dude could be the most boring guy in the world but I’mstill gonna what? Stroke that ego! I act like his profile blew me away. BestI’ve read since I joined the site. He worked really hard to craft thoseparagraphs so I reward him accordingly. As Drake says, “I’m telling every girlshe’s the one for me, when I ain’t even planning to call.” Make him thinkthat you think that he is the shit! You might be wary of doingso because then he’ll think you’re puddy in his hands, but it really has theopposite effect. These men get dozens of messages that commit thebelow-mentioned offenses (or are boring like yours lol) and to read fromsomeone passionate, exciting, and lively is a breath of fresh air. Remember thevoicemail thing. If you have ten “Hey call me back” voicemails and oneenthusiastic, inquiring, fun voicemail, who are you going to call back first?The more interest I show in him, the happier and more inclined to learn aboutme he will be. Moreover, just like your message to Silent Sam, you’re seekingto insert yourself in the narrative of his life by allowing him to envision youtwo salsa dancing together. Once you plant this image in his mind, he’ll simplyhave to make it a reality!

AN INITIAL MESSAGE IS NOT THE TIME FOR:

Rapid-fire interrogation into his merits as an SD OR to bring uphow much allowance I want.

“Hey there, John! I’ve loved your profile. So tell me, whatbrings you to SA rather than a more traditional site such as eHarmony? Have youever been a sugar daddy before? If so how much allowance did she get? And whydid it end? Can’t wait to hear back from you!”

^Hey there, SB, you’re hot. Why are you on SA? Do you like oldermen a lot? The harrier the better? How many older men have you been with? Didyou let them do anal? How deep? ………………..Are you uncomfortable yet? This neitherstrokes the ego nor elicits interest. Instead, I pocket these key questions forthe next message or two. Like real dating, sugar dating isabout a personality match initially so I start off seeing what we have incommon and then (soon, don’t wait forever) move on to see if our arrangementexpectations align. As so many SBs say, treat him like a person, not an ATM.

Regurgitating my entire profile.

“Hey there, John! I’m a fun, sexy, college student at Universityof Tampa who is majoring in psychology. I love to dance, travel, and play withmy cats. I keep in shape by running four miles a day and I’m training for myfirst marathon coming up this summer. Blah. Blah. Blah. Copy and paste from myprofile.”

^After a guy reads my message, he will immediately go to yourprofile to learn more about me. So let’s give him more to learn! Don’t just sayeverything you’ve already said before. Your profile should do the telling andyour message should do the showing. If you say you’re fun, flexible and like totravel – show it! This probably won’t elicit interest since it’s not anythinghe couldn’t find from just reading your profile. And it certainly doesn’t doanything to stroke the ego since it’s all about you.

Ultimatums.

“Hey there, John! I’m a fun, sexy, college student who islooking for a man to spend time with two to three times a month for wining& dining, enriching experiences, and a mutual beneficial arrangement with,on my part, a monthly allowance of $5000. Is that YOU? :)” ^ It can be temptingto send the latter message because it seemingly weeds out guys who aren’t whatI’m looking for, right? Especially since guys send us these messages all thetime a la, “I’m not looking to waste either of our time so here’s what I wantyada yada yada.” Well these type of gun to the head messages are a big turn-offto a lot of people (especially shy newbies like Silent Sam); it’s better tostart light and then delve into what you’re looking for a message or two later.While this message may elicit some interest, if anything, it hurts the ego bymeasuring this man against my standards right off the bat. Don’t be a saltbaby. Don’t make it “Are you good enough for me? Why should I choose you?” Butinstead “are we good enough for eachother?” (at least not to his face)

SA winks and literal winks “;)” as they are universally tackyand creepy lol.

RECAP, AN INITIAL MESSAGE IS THE TIME TO:

Reveal specifically what I find appealing about a man.

Reveal my fun personality to this man.

Enable him to envision the exponential surge in his quality oflife with me as his SB.” 

__ empirestatesugar -deactivated :( 

[noloveallowedsugar-deactivated2]

Ashley Madison Master Post

Let me tell you something about Ashley Madison. It’s definitely a sugar daddy/sugar baby goldmine. It may not be a traditional sugar dating website but trust me, you can gain the most out of it and I will tell you why. 

As you may know, most sugar daddies today are Married which makes Ashley Madison the PERFECT website.  

The ONLY way Ashley Madison will work for you is if you are extremely honest in your profile. 

Step 1. Create a username. 

Create a username that will stand out from the crowd. Your primary goal is to get their attention. 

Step 2. Create your profile. 

Now that you have created your username, it’s time to create your profile. If you are stuck doing this, I will give you a tip that works for me. 

Adjectives are your best friend. The more adjectives you have describing yourself, the better your profile will sound. 

Step 3. Submit Your Pictures

As you may know by now, men tend to be very visual, therefore, find a few photos that will leave them impressed. Also, please smile in your photos. 

Step 4. Checkboxes. 

On Ashley Madison, you will see check boxes. Do not check all of them. Since you are only seeking a mutually beneficial relationship, just check the box that states “Seeking Sugar Daddy”. 

Here are some bonus tips.

On your profile, DO NOT STATE THAT YOU ARE SEEKING A MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL RELATIONSHIP. I will tell you why. Men are so confused these days. They will mistaken the term for something else as it has happened to a few individuals before. You can even used what I wrote which was: 

I am seeking a gentleman who isn’t opposed to exposing me to the finer things as well as to invest in my future endeavors. At this time, I am currently seeking a traditional Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby arrangement. 

DO NOT IGNORE THE WINKS!

There’s money in the winks! When you get a wink, don’t let them pile up. Instead, send them a reply. Here are some samples.

“Thank you so much for wink! Does this mean that you are interested in my proposal?” 

“Thank you so much for winking at me. I would love to get to know you over dinner and discuss a possible arrangement with you”. 

“Thank you for the wink. Does this mean that you are interested in being my sugar daddy?” 

Also, please start using The Traveling Woman Feature. It’s a great feature to use whenever you are flying into town. 

After you have done all of this, swap emails or text messages and you are on your way!

You will thank me later. Have fun!

[missoptimisticsb]

To be in the sugar bowl/ world...

You need to have balls. You can’t be too nice. Not everyone deserves your kindness. Remember that young ladies and you too young gentlemen.

[rosevanillasugar]

Effective strategies when talking to POTs online

1.Know who your after Decide the type of men that you want an arrangement with. Decide on the type who is appealed by you. Know that you can’t have a successful arrangement with every type. For example I found that I’m best with men in their late forties-fifties who aren’t the playboy type and don’t exactly know what they want, thus I try filter on those criteria. This saves a lot of time, but it is also something you learn with experience.

2. Incorporate details of their profile If you want to spam, I have never done it and I don’t think that it’ll be successful in my area, so I’d rather send a detailed message to 5 men, than spamming 40+ men and having to sort it all out. I try not to focus on asking about their work life, but rather what they do in their free time. I found that it evoked a much more engaging response. 

3. Say cheesy stuff ‘Wish you a nice evening’, ‘Hope you had a great weekend’, ‘Did you have a good day?’, etc. Pretend like you already know him, basically. Write your messages like you truly care what he did today. Plenty of times I’ve heard that they always ‘loved my nice messages’. Attention is a drug, this is how you get him addicted. 

4. Don’t write essays about yourself Keep a message to a paragraph long, that is my guideline. Don’t reveal too much about yourself, rather reveal a small detail with every message. That way you keep it interesting. Focus on complimenting him and asking him follow-up questions. 

5. Don’t say anything referring indirectly to something sexual + do not tolerate this as well This is simply a no-go. If any pot brings this up I just send a message that I don’t think that there is a match, but I’m sure there’ll be other girls.

6.Listen to your intuition Time=money, hence don’t waste your time. The real SD’s always are sophisticated during messaging. If anything feels off, don’t waste your time on it. This is something you’ll learn with experience, but if a pot says: about meeting immediately-asking for nudes-anything about sexual acts-about their previous ‘model SB’s for Russia’-Girls that met them for $200 a month, trust your instinct and stop messaging.

[thesweetnessofsugar]

There's nothing more annoying than a man who is a HORRIBLE texter. wtf I look like pushing this convo and you're not as well? Texting is like sex. It won't be good and worth it if both parties don't actively participate.

[thesweetnessofsugar]

It's silly when a guy says he's happily married but is bored and looking for some fun on the side. If you're so happy you wouldn't be so "bored" searching for some ass. Keep it real and say that you're not fully satisfied and enjoy stepping out on your partner.