Laurel's Blog

I'm a multi-fandom girl. astus on AO3

[cheerioio]

emmerdale « 25.03.2010 »

i just want to help. what can i do? anything, i'll do anything. / talk to me.

[rosegardendeprofundis]

Source: @laceypaigepoetry on Instagram

[cheerioio]

emmerdale « 25.03.2010 »

i believe you. // really? // yeah. but if it’s not drugs, then it’s something else.

[farmbert]

idk I think there really might be a link between kev and celia tbh. him being one of her other sons. since that post yesterday pointed out to me that joe absolom was in eastenders too, and then obviously chris was too, and two very memorable characters - this is not really a clue but i just feel it lol. and also when the kev news first came out it did say it would affect many villagers, and he seems to be having scene with more villagers… and that duncan tweet about interlinking stories etc. I can see it, I feel it

[thetamingofspike]

I don't mean to be all discoursey here, but it's a bad take to imply that Aaron should be held accountable for the john situation. Normally, I wouldn't say anything, but I feel compelled to do so, in this case, as someone whose had experience with this personally with an emotionally abusive partner (aside from the murder/manslaughter parts).

As someone who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship, it is totally false that it's easy to recognize. Because you're being manipulated and gasliit by someone who you love and trust, it's hard to recognize the red flags. I actually feel that Emmerdale has done a pretty good job of displaying this kind of abusive relationship, down to Aaron's appeasement of John and his apathy at times to John's lies. What's disheartening is the fandom response.

This take is basically claiming that emotionally intelligent people cannot be emotionally controlled and abused. That the abuse was at least somewhat Aaron's fault since he didn't recognize the signs of being emotionally abused. It is never the other partner's fault for their partner's abusive behavior. Emotional abuse is still abuse. Aaron is not accountable for it. All the accountability lies with John. Just like it wasn't Robert's fault he was gaslit by John, it also wasn't Aaron's.

John has been controlling and abusive of Aaron since at least Anthony's death. Of course he can't see it. He's too close to it. It happened slowly and insidiously. He feels he owes John because John has manipulated him to feel this way. Yes, he's also afraid of how much he loves Robert, and that plays a part in it. But, ultimately, he's clinging to John because he believes that John is a good person. A person who loves him.

Should Aaron go to therapy? Absolutely. Should he be held accountable for John's abuse and manipulation of himself and others? No.

[deforest]

LUCILLE BALL in LURED — 1947, dir. Douglas Sirk

[doyouthinkhewouldsquandersouls]

why would anyone want aaron to apologise to robert? crazy opinion. what does he have to apologise for??

rob hid the fact that he was still gunning after lee. hid the possibility that he was up for a life sentence. hid the fact that he was being moved to the isle of wight. hid that he was planning to send divorce papers. failed to acknowledge liv's death. hid that he was planning to appeal. hid that the appeal had succeeded.

robert completely abandoned aaron and removed all of aaron's hard won agency in the relationship and any sense them being a team.

and any idea that any of that was selfless is completely negated when he rocks up at the wedding, like i'm back to pick up where i left off and your new relationship and whatever you've built in my absence means nothing because it's not with me.

like??????????

don't get me wrong, i love that he's like this because drama and robron. but to want aaron to apologise for making the only choices robert left for him is grotesque. especially in the context where we as the audience know that he's wrong about john and is about to be betrayed again so badly.

like, what do you want him to say? i'm sorry i was upset that you abandoned me the way everyone else i've ever loved has and i'm sorry for trying to move on the way you wanted me to and i'm sorry i yelled at you in the pub because it was taking me too long to realise that i was wrong about the guy i was trying to move on with the way you told me to...

why should he apologise for being jerked around and for not knowing things he doesn't know?????

fml.

[thetamingofspike]

WIP Wednesday- Hunting Season

“What do you want?” Leaf asked, still backing away.

The forest person smiled, and tilted his head. “The same thing you do,” he answered. 

“What do I want?” Leaf asked, confused.

“Me and mine have heard your prayers and have come to answer them,” the forest person said. He mockingly bowed to Leaf.

“You and yours?” 

“Yes,” he replied. He spread his arms to either side of him, which seemed to be a signal as more Forest People came out of the woods. There was one who resembled a tree. They had skin like bark, green leaves that sprouted from their head, shoulders, and twig-like fingers. They moved stiffly, their legs not bending where their knees should be. Leaf was unable to determine a gender. 

Another one was a short creature with black mushrooms that rose from his gray skin. At first glance, it looked as if he had fur on his chin as some humans did, but when Leaf looked closer he saw the fur was also mushrooms growing closely together. 

[thetamingofspike]

WIP Wednesday- The Sex Life of Neil Josten

He disconnected their mouths, took a breath, and asked shakily, "What do you want me to do?"

She laughed at him a bit, just a little puff of air that he could barely hear. Instead of answering, she reached back behind herself, fiddled with the back of her shirt a bit, and then withdrew her bra from her left arm hole.

She leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "Feel free to do whatever. I'll let you know if I want you to stop."

He nodded, and she leaned in to kiss him again. He put his hand under her shirt, let it rest on the underside of her breast for a moment before moving it up again. Her skin was warm and inviting. He splayed his palm across her breast, and felt her hard nipple underneath. He pressed in a bit to feel the tip against his palm, and she moaned and moved in closer. He took his palm off her breast and rubbed his thumb over her nipple. He tried to pay attention to what she liked. She would gasp into his mouth when he tugged on her nipple with a little pressure, so he tugged and played, and listened.

[thetamingofspike]

WIP Wednesday- Kidnapped!Neil

A block from his apartment building, his phone rang, the screen lighting up to tell him the caller was Stuart. Andrew ducked into an alleyway and answered it.

"Well?" Andrew demanded.

"It wasn't the FBI," Stuart said.

Andrew already knew that. "Tell me something useful."

"Ichirou has been informed of the situation. He's not pleased that his investment has disappeared. I'm getting on a plane now. I'll be there in six hours. Don't call the police."

The line went dead. Stuart had hung up the phone.

Andrew leaned up against the wall of the alleyway for a moment. He took a second then lit another cigarette.

"Well?" Kevin demanded impatiently from where he was hovering beside Andrew.

"Stuart will be here in six hours."

"Does he know who has him?"

"No," Andrew answered.

Andrew rubbed his cigarette out against the alleyway and tossed the stub. He started walking back to the apartment.

Kevin jogged to catch up with him. "What now?"

Yes, Andrew, what now? He sure as hell wasn't going to wait six hours for Stuart on his ass doing nothing when Neil could be dying. Could be dead. Probably already is dead, a slowly rotting corpse buried under ground that Andrew would never find, a little voice whispered.

He forcibly pushed it back. "I'm getting the car."

Neil had never given up on him. He wouldn't give up on Neil.

[slayerbuffy]

Take a long look, hero. I’m nothing like you.

[maloops]

"she who hangs out a lot in cemeteries"

ive been experimenting with black shadows, so this one was fun to make

[thetamingofspike]

WIP Wednesday- Hunting Season

Before he left to return to the meadow, he turned back to the lake. The setting sun painted it with deep reds. The water looked like blood. The blood his family was asking him to spill. The blood he had already spilled. He closed his eyes and saw Summer’s smiling face. Was this his answer?

“Do you think your God cares about you?” A voice came out of the woods.

Leaf startled and turned away, facing the direction the voice was coming from. “Who’s there?” he called.

Laughter answered him. Leaf started backing away, keeping his eyes on the trees in front of him.

“Who are you?” Leaf asked.

A human stepped out of the woods. No, not a human Leaf realized. Humans didn’t have pointed ears, or brown speckled wings on their backs. Leaf had heard about these beings. The forest people. They weren’t human, or kinfolk. They were other. All the stories Leaf had heard had painted them as dangerous, untrustworthy creatures. 

[thetamingofspike]

WIP Wednesday- The Sex Life of Neil Josten

She abruptly disconnected their mouths.

"Wait," she murmured against his lips.

Stefan waited.

She took one of his arms from her shoulders, grabbed his hand, and put it on the bare flesh of her stomach. She smiled at him, her lipstick smudged, and leaned forward to kiss him again.

He left his hand on her stomach without moving it for a moment. Letting himself feel the smooth texture of her skin, the heat of her body, and then he slowly moved it up. He hesitated when he reached the swell of her breast, but she murmured something unintelligible into his mouth and pressed her body firmer into his. He took this as consent and let his hand settle onto her breast, cupping it with his palm. She was wearing a bra, so in order to feel her skin, he swept his thumb up until it reached the place her breast swelled over the fabric.

[thetamingofspike]

WIP Wednesday- Kidnapped!Neil

Kevin was smart enough that he waited for Andrew to walk to the nearest convenience store, purchase a pack of cigarettes, go outside to light one, and inhale before he spoke again.

"You shouldn't be smoking."

Andrew huffed a little, almost a laugh. He inhaled again, turned to Kevin, and exhaled in his direction.

They stood together outside of the store for a a few minutes. Andrew smoking his cigarette, Kevin looking on in disapproval.

A man glanced at Kevin, looked away, and then quickly looked back at him. A fan. Maybe he would have approached them, but Andrew made eye contact with him, and slowly shook his head. He then started back off down the street, with Kevin following behind.

He didn't have the patience to deal with fans on his best day. Today was not his best day.

[thetamingofspike]

WIP Wednesday- Hunting Season

Summer hadn’t been murdered here. That had happened miles away, on a road he hadn’t seen in years. They had moved from that forest to this one. Leaf liked that this forest was untainted by Summer’s death, but he still lived with her ghost. He would come to the lake and ask the Horned God for peace. He would ask for answers. Sometimes, he would ask for revenge. Now, he asked for clarity.

He waded into the water slowly, until it was lapping at his shoulders. Until he was surrounded by the cold. Until he felt somewhat clean again and worthy of the Horned God’s attention. 

Leaf tilted his head back, until he was looking at the sky through the branches of the trees that surrounded the lake. 

“Horned God, I come to you as your humble subject. I come to you to ask you a question,” Leaf whispered. He always whispered his conversations with the deity. Somehow, it made the act feel more sacred, more his. “Are the humans unworthy of mercy? Are they all selfish and bloodthirsty? Can they be reasoned with?”

Leaf took a few deep breaths. He was silent for a few minutes before he continued. “These are my questions. For your answers, I am prepared to offer a trade. A sacrifice. I will give you a year of my life to use in whatever way you see fit.”

Leaf waited. There was nothing but silence. He didn’t know if the Horned God would reply in words, or a sign. He waited in the water until the sun sank into the horizon, and then slowly started wading back toward the bank. It seemed like there would be no answers today. Maybe his bargain would be rejected. Maybe the Horned God deemed him unworthy of answers.

[thetamingofspike]

WIP Wednesday- The Sex Life of Neil Josten

After the girl had finished her cigarette, she spoke again. "What brings you to this shit hole?"

"My mom," Stefan answered. "You?"

"Same," she answered, without elaborating.

*Write a bridge to the smooching*

She pressed her lips to his and Stefan vaguely wondered if her lipstick would stain his lips. The shiny cherry color transferring to his unpainted mouth to declare to the world what he had done with her.

She pressed closer to him, her breasts pressing up against his chest. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing with his hands and settled on draping his arms across her shoulders, with his hands lightly resting against the back of her neck.

Her tongue swept across his lower lips and Stefan opened his mouth for her. He remembered this from the other girl. The girl that had watched the exy game with him. He tentatively reached out with his own tongue and they met, ran over each other before retreating a little, like a dance, a tease.

*Sorry, you're getting my writer's notes to myself in this one! When it's posted on A03 the bridge will be written, I promise! Until then, enjoy the smooching!*