Zhalia | ao3 - neocities - kofi - all socials here MV33 || LH44 || LN4 || AA23 || YT22 i go feral over 4433 a lot. please go feral with me. I follow back from thethirteenthcrow
ao3 - neocities - kofi - all socials here | adult, fic writer. i'm unhinged about Lewis/Max. favorite drivers are Max & Lewis. i have a complicated relationship with Lando at the moment. been following F1 since 2016, been active on F1blr since 2021. i'm also unhinged but slighlty more hinged about Max Fewtrell and Lando (how can you not, really).
i tag (basically) everything with #zhalia's lil' chit chat. other regular used tags are #zhalia's lil' answer chat for asks, #zhalia's lil' kink chat for kink-related posts and sometimes #zhalia's lil' fic chat but i regularly forget that that one exists.
askbox is always open and for anon too !! i love to chat !!
i'm not (active) on any other socials than tumblr, ao3 and neocities. personal tumblr: @thethirteenthcrow (i follow back from there); hornier tumblr @theeleventhcrow ; i make F1 and custom bead bracelets over at @thebeadedcrow ; i’m insane about buffy the vampire slayer at @thefivebyfivecrow
fic masterlist:
index:
i. fic recs
ii. ships & kinks
iii. how to request a fic
iv. where to find my fics
v. fic masterlist
i. fic recs
besides my AO3 bookmarks, i also compile lists for certain themes with my favorite fics!
ships i actively write for: 4433, nortrell
ships i'm open to writing for: most max-centered ships, brocedes, norstappen, lewdo, yuki/alex, lewco
ships i won't write*: lestappen, landoscar, versainz, carlando, team principal ships, anything with lance, esteban, george or daniel
*mostly due to the fact that i'm not highly focused on these drivers so it's tough for me to know things about them and therefore tougher for me to write something that doesn't feel incredibly out of character. you could see it as: i won't write this driver as a main character. they may always end up being bg ships anyways. does likely not have anything to do with my opinion on the ship.
kinks i actively write: anything that comes to mind or is fitting in the context (check the full list right here on my website)
kinks i won't write: watersports, scat, fisting, footplay
i'm super chill when it comes to kinks and there is a huge amount of kink i've never even considered. please feel free to request anything you'd like to see and i'll happily give it a shot!
iii. how to request a fic
it's very easy! requests go into my askbox! you can request any kink and any ship and i'll let you know whether i will or won't write it. in certain cases, i might refer you to my commissions. however, due to my current situation and the fact that i'm very busy with work and uni, these commissions are closed. fic requests can be fulfilled within weeks but also catch dust in my askbox for years. never hesitate to ask for an update!
for more information, check out this page on my website!
iv. where to find my fics
completely finished fics will always be on my ao3. currently, all my fics are archive-locked due to the ai-scraping threat. if you're reading this, please never ever put any author's hard work into a chatbot or ai thingy. that's theft. i put good faith in all readers that you won't do it but never hurts to say it :)
in case ao3 is down, you can read the majority of my fics on my website as well.
www.archiveofourown.org/users/zhalia is my ao3.
zhalia.neocities.org is my website
right here is where you can find all tumblr prompts i have fulfilled!
v. fic masterlist
chronologically, these are my current 4433 WIPs and finished fics. the chronological order is from when i started with the idea. the wips will likely only have tumblr links with where i talked about it. feel free to ask about any fic any time!
Racing Heartbeats | 103k complete | explicit
⤑ Racing Heartbeats is a fic that follows Max and Lewis throughout the 2021 season from Max's pov. Max visits Lewis after the Bahrain grand prix, they have sex and they don't really stop having sex from that moment on, while their relationship progresses and changes and has to deal with all sorts of pressure as Max's chances on the championship get bigger and bigger.
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [masterlist], [scared to post], [link with the original 'racing verse'], [meme], [snippet], ['haha what if they fucked'], [accidental foreseeing], [unhinged first draft], [progress] [web weaving sneak peek], [ao3 tag], [updating poll]
got your naked pictures and i keep them in a folder | 3K finished | explicit
⤑ Idea originally brainstormed in a Max discord server: lewis accidentally sends a nude to max but then is too prideful to admit it's an accident and suddenly they're sexting and lewis is more into it than the conversation he had with the original recipient and he really should tap the wrong buttons on his phone more often if it leads to this.
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [origin], [snippet], [random line]
finished during the fic fire 2026 event
[WIP] Coffeeshop au | only a lot of brainstorms | not rated yet
⤑ brainstormed with @popkin16⤑ Max and Daniel own a little coffeeshop. Lewis is a big celebrity that temporarily resides in the area and visits the coffeeshop every day. Daniel is a bit starstruck, Max is unimpressed. Or, well, unimpressed at first.
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: (none yet)
Vriendschap is een illusie | 3,8k, finished | explicit
⤑ after the Silverstone grand prix, Lewis swings by Max to check up on him. he can conclude, physically Max is fine.⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [announcement]
Covered in You | 17k, finished | explicit
⤑ cowritten with @mish-tique⤑ 5+1 fic (sorta) where Max keeps accidentally wearing Lewis' clothes in public despite not wanting to share about their secret relationship yet.
⤑ our tumblr posts about it: [joke], [teaser], [announcement], [hits and comments celebration], [2k hits celebration], [5k hits celebration]
i see so much when i look at you | 1,7k, finished | explicit
⤑ requested by anon
⤑ max and lewis have a wednesday morning ritual, but lewis has a meeting. max finds a way to be near him.⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [snippet], [anon's request]
late night devil, put your hands on me | 3,4k, finished | explicit
⤑ anon requested 'more 4433'
⤑ max goes clubbing at Sass and Lewis happens to be there too
⤑ my tumblr posts about it:
with a taste of a poison paradise | 2,1k finished | explicit
⤑ max and lewis decide it's better to take a break in their relationship. max spends his time with close friend martin garrix instead. lewis gets jealous.
finished during the fic fire 2026 event
you crawled inside my head and set a fire there instead | 13k, finished | explicit
⤑ max/lewis soulmate au, also features can't-stay-more-than-5ft-apart-trope.
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [snippet], [line]
[WIP] presscon tease | brainstorms | explicit
⤑ lewis teases max under the presscon table
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: (none yet)
I really wouldn't mind if we don't go anywhere | 5k, incomplete | teen & up
⤑ lewis asks max to dogsit roscoe for a night because no one else could. he just didn't expect to enjoy coming home to max this much.
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [teaser], [announcement], [more]
[WIP] sleepover fic | brainstorms | explicit
⤑ post 2021 lewis invites all drivers into his home to have a slumber party together. no one knows that max and lewis are dating...
⤑ my tumblr posts about it:
have you noticed? tell me, have you noticed? | 7,8k, finished | explicit
⤑ anon requested omegaverse thoughts; another anon gave ideas
⤑ omega!lewis forgets to take his suppressants and max helps him out
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [anon ideas]
i knew that look, dear, eyes always seeking | 2,3k, finished | mature
⤑ requested by anon
⤑ lewis is jittery during the US GP 2023 press conference, max calms him down⤑ my tumblr posts about it:
lover, lead me astray | 1,7k, finished | explicit
⤑ requested by anon
⤑ lewis sat prettily on his knees in front of max during the US GP 2023 cooldown room. one could only wonder what happened there.
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [my tags that sparked this], [announcement]
[WIP; series] keep me under the charm |85k, 2/3 done, 0/3 posted | explicit
⤑ co-brainstormed with spooky anon
⤑ max heard the stories of a creature sucking blood and leaving people unconsious. max never thought that a run-in would change his life so much.
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [spooky anon], [spooky anon ii], [snippet], [title choice], [some worldbuilding], [doc comment], [update], [word count], [more title choice], [lyrics in the fic] --- [#keep me under the charm]
only bought this corset so you could take it off | 10k | explicit
⤑ written with @pinkjamblesss
⤑ lewis wonders if he's still got it. so he decides to go around las vegas to prove a point. max loses his mind in the process
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [lewis in a corset (drawing)] [#only bought this corset so you could take it off]
[WIP] ask for forgiveness, never permission | brainstorms | explicit
⤑ brainstormed with @geminivenus-11
⤑ bodyguard lewis au
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [#ask for forgiveness never permission]
[WIP] but i don't have to fucking tell you anything | brainstorms | not rated
⤑ lewis and max decide it's time to publicly announce their relationship. the fia, and its ties to certain countries that aren't too fond of homosexuality, panic about this
⤑ my tumblr posts about this: [none]
[WIP] i shake my milk until it's sweet and has a sugery taste | brainstorms | not rated
⤑ primary school teacher max has lewis' kid in his class. they get off on the wrong foot, but slowly they learn that they like each other. if only nico wasn't such a constant and annoying presence...
⤑ brainstormed with all of you! i love hearing all your ideas and working together with you all to create this fic. forever feel invited to send me anons with your ideas!
⤑ my tumblr posts about it: [#primary teacher!max]
and baby when it's love, if it's not rough, it isn't fun | 5,5k, finished | explicit
⤑ max heard that someone sold information on him to someone else and max wanted to get to the bottom of it. he just didn't expect it to go like this. he didn't expect her to be involved
⤑ the female!lewis maffia au sequel to a little gambling is fun when you're with me
you're right here now and i think you'll stay | 2,3k, finished | mature
⤑ post-silverstone 2024, lewis' win. he celebrates and max makes sure to make him feel loved. bit of dacryphilia for the fun of it.
well, maybe i could hold you in the dark | 5,5k, finished | explicit
⤑ the gpda strikes old-timey: with a sleepover. george has the hilarious idea to get lewis and max next to each other. surely this won't be a bad idea.
ive seen a lot of people talk about after care on here but only mention it to the extent of some cuddles and a bath and i just want to remind everyone that aftercare shouldnt be limited to that.
if you have a harder session, tend to your subs bruises, scratches, and marks. put ice on bruises and welts to help with inflammation and pain.
if you do bondage, take care of rope burn and help them do some stretches. their body is going to be stiff from being restricted in one position for a long time. also a heating pad can help with sore muscles.
if they have any cuts or are bleeding, dress their wounds properly. make sure to put on antibiotic ointment on before a bandage if needed.
if they have burns for whatever reason, run them under cold water and maybe use ointment on those to help them heal.
make sure they pee after sex to help prevent a UTI. their legs may be shaky so help them get to the bathroom if needed.
give them advil or some other pain med to help with any aching or discomfort.
make sure they drink water. they need it and i cant stress how important this is. also give them some food even if its just a little snack.
give them verbal assurance and praise. tell them they did good and that youre proud of them.
still run a bath, get them cleaned up, give them kisses, cuddle them, etc but dont forget about the rest of aftercare, its so important. take care of your subs and always remember consent, communication, and safety are key.
also give your doms aftercare and affection too, theyre people with emotions and need it
aftercare is just as, if not more, important than the actual scene and should never be skipped, rushed, or disregarded
Important addition, do NOT run burns under cold water. Run them under BODY/ROOM TEMP water. This is as to not shock the area where the burn is. With damaged nerves you run the risk of “freezer burning”, where the burned area instead gets too cold.
Just keep it safe and care for each other, make sure that you are both okay even if it is not a super intense scene.
dickpicfic iii is at 2,2k words and they are Finally in the room together :) some more fighting is happening and then these bitches can finally fuck each other !!
After a year of lurking in the F1 fandom, I feel compelled to speak my truth: Nico Rosberg’s LinkedIn page is the richest text that nobody is talking about.
As the foremost Nico LinkedIn critical scholar* of our times, I’m begging someone, ANYONE, to get on my level with this.
*[amount of time I've spent scrolling his posts redacted, but trust me, whatever you're thinking, it's more]
If you’re not in his target demo of loser, sorry I mean millennial-to-genX grindset startup bro with a hard-on for networking with venture capitalists, then you’re probably not in Nico’s LinkedIn circle and you might not know that he is ACTIVE. He is posting 2-3 times a week, he is responding to comments, this is his primary social media output, and the content isn’t crossposted anywhere else.
For years, his beat has been dreadfully boring stuff like ~optimising your performance for success in business~, and you should know that thematically he's currently mid-villian's journey, pivoting his content from ~here's how Europe can be a leader in sustainable transport~ to ~here's how we can use GenAI for literally fucking everything.~
His comment section is dozens of fintech reply guys engaging earnestly with his productivity tips and totally missing the POINT. The point being:
breadcrumbs about his relationship with his dad (keke rosberg) and also his relationship with his dad (toto wolff), which are both totally normal you guys thanks for asking
a surprising number of performative meditation photos, very important in order to prove why neuroscientists have given him such a good grade in brain activity
the sanitised-to-fit-the-current-brand, darkness-still-lurking-within brocedes of it all, which is usually something like: "during my @ Formula1 days, lewis brought out the most evil, self-loathing version of me on account of how perfect he was, which made me miserable, but thankfully also led me to a deep wealth of venture capitalist wisdom 10-15 years later!!!"
cheery framing of the most fucked-up psychological damage wrought upon man by professional sports and reinforced by the sexy, evil father figures in charge
I also need you to know that Nico is unintentionally HILARIOUS. He isn’t setting out to be funny. He’s earnestly trying to be insightful/inspiring. For him it IS that deep, it’s the most serious thing in the world whether your mindset is primed to extract max performance from your douchey job. But oh my god does he wind up being funny.
Like, ok, how about illustrating a list of really obvious advice about bettersleep4betterresults with this selfie... conveying through eyebrow acting how unsatisfying his previous REM cycle was due to not following his own advice :(
Or a 40th birthday roundup of bland life lessons like 'great teamwork beats talent alone!' that obviously must be illustrated via slurping a vat of celery juice against decorative wallpaper (he likes this photo btw as it shows up in more than one post):
Or my personal favourite: his interpretation of the cliche advice that your business plan should be concise enough to fit on a napkin. Ah yes, I should have a napkin around here somewhere. Not a poor person's paper cocktail napkin, but how about this giant piece of nice fabric, which might actually be a pillowcase or perhaps a tablecloth? Surely it's fine to sharpie all over this and then throw it out? And definitely this exercise is about writing teeny tiny on an A4-sized surface so you can fit in as much as possible? Anyway, let's finish with a <3!
I also love when he experiments with style, like this brief foray into notes-app insights (didn't perform well, never tried again):
The wording of his posts is a dialect of its own, which has invaded my brain. He describes 1-3 things as “super” in every post, and it’s unclear whether he is aware of other adjectives. He overuses exclamation marks and emojis. Most posts contain a simple message illustrated via an extremely tenuous link to an F1 anecdote, and he is tagging the official @ Formula1 LinkedIn page at even the slightest opportunity. Someone once gave him the tip to ask a question to drive engagement, and he’s made that tip his religion.
Once you start narrating your own life as a Nico LinkedIn post, it’s super hard to stop! It’s super fun, like winning a @Formula1 Grand Prix, which Nico did on 23 memorable occasions. 🏆 What’s a vocal tic you’ve adopted from a girldad entrepreneur in his 40s? 🤔 Let me know in the comments!
Despite all this, Nico has kinda won me over? He is cringe and he is free and he’s so himself. There’s some really sweet tidbits in there when you go digging!!!
He posts surprisingly often about both gender equality and karaoke - usually at separate times, but on one memorable occasion, together!
He comes across as really, genuinely loving of his family, invested in quality time with them, and supportive of their interests and successes. Like this - getting his wife to repeat the confidence-building phrases from her own childen's book when she's anxious! I find this very sweet!
And while he expresses it as though his every thought has been fed through a machine that increases corporatespeak and cheuginess by 175%, I have come to believe that he has genuinely self-actualised after retiring from the F1 torture machine, at least to the extent that he is trying to spend his one, wild, and precious life in a way that's authentic and meaningful to him.
I'll leave you with the one post so baffling it haunts me. The text is pretty innocuous and filled with his usual stuff: I love my family! Family time is more important than work! And luckily, family time will make you even better at work!
But ohhhhh my god the picture.
what on EARTH am I looking at here????? This monstrous creature has to be AI. Am I to believe that Nico and his young child have constructed a snow rabbit as tall as a pine tree???? with cartoon features not resembling any household objects one might use for a snowman face, questionable texture and colour gradients, and perfectly shaped (those paws!!) to an unlikely degree. This couldn't possibly be real snow???? And did he think we just wouldn't notice???? I have reverse image searched to compare it to real snow bunnies made by real human people and like... nico.... who are you trying to fool here...
The comments are equally insane work, like SIMPLE CRAFTS??? Are there LinkedIn bots? Surely these are not serious people.
And who I can only imagine to be the few fellow truthers... have been ominously ignored.
So like... has he made the entire story up? Has he 'built' the snowman on ChatGPT with his daughter, entirely undermining his put-down-your-phone thesis? Did he make a snowman but he was so ashamed by it that he felt the need to spruce it up in post? It's just such a bizarre thing to lie about... like... nobody was saying Nico, Nico, we simply must see the quality of the easter bunny snow sculpture you made with your children, without it we couldn't possibly take your word that enjoying simple moments with your family is a critical element of health, happiness, and productivity!
I'm not stupid, so I know there is a chance that every single post is written by GenAI and I have been duped into character analysis that is actually based on drivel written by a water guzzling soulless machine trained on self-help books. (Although I'll say that his style has remained pretty consistent for years, since before this would have been likely.)
He might also have never had the password to his own accounts, and this is the work of a social media girlie who texts him stuff like 'hey boss, when you get a sec could you pose with some green juice for me, and then maybe a second one looking really upset in bed?'
Or........ and maybe I am deluded by the unlikely degree of charming and fun I find him, but I do genuinely think there is just enough weird human decision-making here to indicate that this is the case..... is Nico typing out the earnest inner workings of his heart between networking happy hour and trackside commentary gigs and gruelling sessions with his philosopher-slash-psychotherapist-slash-mindset coach?
Regardless, like Nico I believe in the lifechanging power of gratitude, so uhhhhh. Thanks for posting the funniest content on the whole website, you corny, corny man!!
me mentally: these characters have a relationship that cannot be defined by any one thing and reaches throughout the narrative and is so woven into their characters that trying to force it under one label would be inaccurate and doing it a disservice.
I actually recommend everyone write for a rarepair once because it completely changes your relationship with fandom. Engagement stops being numbers and starts being names. You know who's going to show up. You recognize usernames. Someone disappears for a while and then comes back and you're like “OH MY GOD WELCOME HOME.” It's incredibly wholesome. It is also deeply inconvenient when all six of you simultaneously get writer's block-
