[orbcube]

hi im your cat do you mind if i touch your coffee. do you mind if i put my whole foot in your coffee

[bubbleteavangelist]

[vonlipvig]

WE NEED TO KILL HIM

[lesbianboyfriend]

[ID: the spotify smart shuffle button /end ID]

[cryptotheism]

In high school I was voted most likely to be tormented by spirits

[pansyfemme]

*seductively* would you.. be interested in doing a unfunny bit with me sometime.. just the two of us..

[pocketdogs]

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

[weirdwerewolf-deactivated-deact]

you said this is normal weed, why am i becoming a beast under the moonlight

[energyprison]

some of you sick fucks were probably glad when austin lost his mojo

[spitblaze]

Cats are great for when you want a little freak to slink around your house

[butchspace]

BDS has updated their calls for consumer boycotts to include: Chevron (and Texaco and Caltex by extension): x

They have also officially called for a boycott of McDonald’s: x

[butchspace]

I know the boycott of McDonalds has been going on for a while, but it was not officially called for by the BDS national committee until recently. (Though they have supported the organic boycotts, they recently pointed out an escalation in McDonald’s active participation in upholding apartheid wrt the lawsuit filed by McDonalds Malaysia, along with their continued operation in Israel.)

Chevron was on the divestment list, but has now also been added to the consumer boycott list.

Please familiarize yourself with the list of brands on the consumer boycott list and make sure you are at least boycotting them. Targeted, organized boycotts will make the most impact. Boycotting additional companies who are not on the BDS list isn’t a bad thing, but the BDS national committee didn’t just throw those names up there willy-nilly.

BDS consumer boycott list: x

[bearie]

kittens conversation:

hey we are all really small do you want to sleep in a pile

other kittens: yeah

[frenzyarts]

I’m a magician in the sheets 😏 *pulls a rabbit out of my pussy*

[give-grian-rights]

-Mary Toft, 1726

[the-dumb-smart-friend]

Hold on I need to look something up

[the-dumb-smart-friend]

What

[give-grian-rights]

yeah. sorry

[pugcrumbs]

When I was 13, me and my friends RP’d on MSN Messenger as the leaders of our local lawfirms for like a week.

[ratfuck]

I put a smell on you

[markingatlightspeed]

cats when they headbutt you

[egberts]

if Candice has a picture phone why did she never just take a photo of what phineas and ferb were doing and text it to her mom

[kaibascorpse]

if she did this doofenshmirtz would just be like you see perry the platypus i sold my old computer at the pawn shop but i forgot to delete all those embarrassing photos from the christmas party, which is why i’ve invented the pixel-replacinator! and then as candace is going to text her mom the photo the phone gets hit with the beam and she looks down and she’s just texted her mom a photo of doofenshmirtz in a sexy elf costume or smth. candace can never fucking win the universe bends to facilitate her psychological torment

[jacka1]

so annoying when zombie media doesn't call them zombies. ppl were calling that dude that did bath salts and bit someone a zombie and it was just one guy and you're telling me ppl would see hoards of undead cannibals and go "omgg these guys are crazy..they're like freakers or something.."

[killrockstar]

being in yr 20s is like every day is a Try Not To Spend 40$ Challenge and i keep losing