Being raised right doesn't mean you don't drink, party, smoke or use curse words.
Being raised right is how you treat people, your manners and respect.
Staying quiet instead of asking for something I need.
Feeling like everyone is watching me.
Regretting going out.
That’s how social anxiety feels like. It’s like shadow that always following you anywhere, everywhere. Sometimes I get tired having that symptoms. But when I want to leave it, it’s like old friend that always beside you for a very long time, you can’t leave it easily.
But I have another one. To cover all. To make sure that I’m alright in front of my family, friends, and random people out there. I can be talkative, funny gal, a friendly mate that you could find in the crowd. I just have this happy personality and sad soul in one body. It feels weird sometimes...
“She looked happy but was she really?”
I was looking for help.
Sorry for the myth but the most depressed aren’t the one who smile brighter. When you’ve reached you lowest point, smiling and talking to people are even harder than walking on a thin rope.
I was hungry but I couldn’t eat,
I was tired but I couldn’t sleep,
I was sad but I couldn’t cry,
I was suicidal but I couldn’t die.
I can’t even explain how I feel anymore, my thoughts are so messed up in my head that I don’t even understand them.
Say I’m over reacting but you don’t know what it’s like to lie down in your bed every night and day and feel heavy emotional weight over you while you just sit there waiting for it to go away so you can go back to socializing, doing tasks and just being human again.
Yo, females friendships though! I was terribly intimidated by and afraid of a groupies of women who walks down the corridor while laughing and stressing together at the same time. I fell into the whole stereotypical thinking that women are drama, or too emotional, or cat-ty, social conditioning. But as I’ve stumbled through my twenties, matured, and learned, and grown, I’ve been looking back and thinking about what’s been the most impactful in my life in the last decade. I have noticed a pattern emerge. The sort of standing pillars of friendship that each one of my friends sort of fall into.
1. The Caretaker
The one who protective to you, nurturing, and encouraging. She’s got a multitude of snacks in her bag whenever you hungry. She’s the one who lend her lovely umbrella or even her jacket if you forgot one and ready to company you through the gale. She’ll leave you feeling loved and taken care. She’s sort of like your mom or your big sis and mother nature rolled into one beautiful package.
2. The Fun Time Friend
She’s something like a wild card. She’s can outdrink you, make you laugh until you pee a little, and has a million event that you can beat her plus one too. She’s especially essential immediately post breakup and will make sure that you have ample to make your ex regret their decision. She makes you feel like it’s both of you versus the world and you pity the world because they’re hell out numbered.
3. The Independent Woman
She’s driven, inspiring, and has her life together but makes your mess of your life feel like it’s a glorious work in progress. She’s the one you call when you have no idea how to find the answer of your problem, or when you need advises from tax to toe. She’s probably not that much older than you or maybe she’s even younger than you. But her emotional maturity is through the roof and you definitely view her as your mentor sometimes. She’s confident, has a solid sense of self worth, and almost everything about her is what you wanna be when you grow up.
4. The One-on-One Friend
She may be more introverted so you mostly hang out one-on-one, bonding over tea and good deep conversation. You may discuss anything from books you’ve been reading to the deep seeded traumas you’re uncovering in therapy. But either way you usually hang out for hours on end and leave your time with her feeling connected, seen, and excited to talk again. She’s normally compassionate, deep-feeling, and thoughtful. And you value her objective perspective on so many different issues.
5. The Toxic Friend
Not all female friends are great. In fact you may have a few toxic friends in your circle. From frenemies to negative nancies, we all have that friend that we’re not entirely sure that we should be friends with. I mean maybe every time you see each other she talks negative about someone she loathe for two hours before asking you a question about yourself, or maybe she always talk about herself and her world problems. Maybe she’s emotionally draining, puts you down as a joke or reaches out only when she wants something from you. Either way you usually have something to learn from this kind of friend. Whether it’s how to set strong boundaries, speaking up for yourself, or just learning what type of people you don’t want in your life .
There you have it, The Five Types of Female Friends. And if I had to guess which one I was, I would probably say the one-on-one friend, with a sprinkle of taking care you when there’s no one who wants to help you. Though maybe I’ve been the toxic one on occasion, which sucks but sometimes you are...
And for sure, I’m that one friend that stops and waits for you to do your shoe lace while the group goes on.
Quoted and credited from Anna Akana’s with same title. Recently found her randomly and her videos are super great. I adore her so much
Pernah ada orang bijak berkata, bagaimana pun keadaannya, jangan pernah kau memberi keputusasaan kepada seseorang. Karena itu akan menjadi hadiah yang luar biasa hebat untuk dirinya. Keputusasaan yang kau berikan kepadanya akan berbalik menyerangmu di suatu hari nanti. Keputusasaan yang kau berikan kepadanya akan menjadi sumber energi besar dari hal-hal besar yang akan dia tunjukan kepadamu suatu hari nanti. Kau boleh menyakiti orang lain dengan cara apapun, tapi jangan pernah memberikan keputusasaan. Dengan memberikan seseorang keputusasaan, itu berarti kau tengah menciptakan sebuah monster yang suatu hari nanti akan kau hadapi. Kau tak dapat lari dari monster ciptaanmu, kau yang menciptakannya, kau akan bertemu dan menghadapinya bagaimana pun keadaannya suatu hari nanti.
Percayalah, dalam keadaan seperti apapun, kau boleh menyakiti orang lain dengan cara apa saja, tapi tidak dengan memberinya keputusasaan. Di saat kau memberinya keputusasaan, maka di saat itulah dia menyerahkan dirinya kepada Tuhan, di saat itulah dia dapat melihat batas jelas antara mimpi dan kenyataan, di saat itulah dia tak lagi menanggung beban, dan di saat itulah kau telah menciptakan satu monster untukmu.
Jangan, jangan pernah mencoba untuk membuktikan ini salah.
Tapi jangan pernah, jangan pernah memberikannya keputusasaan……
I’ve been trying to figure out ways for me to get into the habit of drawing regularly. I think I need to do this so that I don’t draw only when it’s a job, assignment, or when “I feel like it”. Also, I want to tackle some issues like my acute perfectionism. So instead of feeling awful and punish myself, I will just accept that I should restart and just keep drawing. Bear in mind I want this to be fun and free myself from my own judgement. Hopefully by the time I’m used to it. I’m reminded of why I love drawing in the first place. I think telling this might also (hopefully) motivate me because I will post the drawings here. I really want to grow as an artist but I need to practice my “finished, not perfect” mindset.
Here’s to the kids who try their hardest to be good for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and whose wish upon a star was wasted on someone that will never care.
It’s funny how i thought everything was possible when I was a kid, but now I know how hard it is to get through a single day. I hurt because of my own expectations. So i often scare to dream. Just the dust. But i don’t want to be just a dust. I want to be pixie dust. Oh lord, if i can’t reach the star, let me be a pixie dust. It makes me very happy. I’d love to help people to reach their dream. Even my dream is to helping people reaching their dreams. It makes me happy, and feel joyous.
I realize, deep down inside my heart, all i want to do in life is to be useful to everyone around me. For whatever I’m doing, whatever job I’ll take, what person I’ll be. I want to die and remembered as a person that makes someone’s life better.
2014 was when I knew that Myers Briggs’ personality test and I regret it to take those tests at that time. I should take that before sophomore. It would become so much easier to take a turn or straight down in my life. What I should take or leave, what I should go or not. But the past is just past, and the result is INFJ. Maybe somebody out there wants to be an INFJ cause it’s rare, please think about it again. Please explain how being overly sensitive with turbulent emotions and a walking contradiction whilst being very private and idealistic in today’s world is so much fun...
As an INFJ, I don’t usually open like this. This is my first time to write about what I think and I feel, and maybe it will turn to some kind of guide book for others.
It’s hard for me to feel like I fit in anywhere because I really am not like anyone else. I have always felt this way. Even though I try really hard to fit in, it never quite works.
Alone time is not optional, it is necessary for my health and the health of those around me. That alone time is how I recharge my batteries and energy. It’s also how I sort out everything that is going on in my head.
A lot of times I feel that I don’t need help for solving my own problems, I just need support and reassurance.
When I’m hurt, I tend to isolate and shut people out. I don’t just shut out the person who caused me distress, I shut out everyone.
Not speaking to anyone for days at a time is very ok and perfectly fine to me.
don’t try to understand me with your logic, feel me with your soul.
snowghoul
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2087
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