The Well Dressed Vagabond

I am a Mexican-American from Texas who lived and worked in the fashion industry in New York for 15 years. I decided I needed a change and to throw some caution to the wind, so I quit my job to explore the world and its people. I decided to live...

[thewelldressedvagabond]

The Resurrection

[thewelldressedvagabond]

Ser “Adulto”

         Año por año pasamos los dias atravesando caminos y gente sin darle mucha importancia. El sol brilla y la luna ilumina y con eso estamos satisfechos.          La mayoria vive sin pensarlo, sin conciencia, sin tomar responsabilidad de nada o nadien. Pero con el paso de tiempo, comienzamos a reflejar y decirnos es hora de ser "adulto", de ser responsable. Esta realizacion nos parece obvio pero yo pienso no es exactamente correcta.          El ser "adulto" no es cosa de ser responsable. El ser "adulto" es cuando la alma de cualquier edad esta 100% conciente de sus acciones y toma responsabilida de las consequencias o resultos aunque esas consequencias o resultos no sean lo que la alma esperaba.          El ser "adulto" es ser conciente de todo y todos al nuestro alredor. El ser "adulto" es ser conciente de tu mismo y aceptar lo que no te gusta de tu mismo o si no quieres aceptarlo . . . entonces cambiarlo. El ser "adulto" no tiene edad exacto que le podemos dar y saber esto tambien es ser "adulto".

         Estas listo para ser un "adulto"? De vivir con ojos abiertos?          Tu decide, ya eres adulto para hacerlo.

[thewelldressedvagabond]

The Earth Witch by Louise Lawrence

13th book of the year. (a re-read)

I actually finished this book about a month ago shortly after Halloween and right before Day of the Dead, but just hadn't made the time to post.

I loved this book from the moment I discovered it . . . way, way, WAY back in junior high. Don't ask me why? I just did.

I loved it so much that years later as an adult and living in NY I still remembered it and tracked it down. I bought 2, 1st editions of it, the U.S. edition and the British edition. This is the British edition; I sold the U.S. edition along with most of my other books when I left NY.

Having read it again, I must say it hasn't lost any of it's draw. Every time I read it, I can almost remember the exact moment I discovered this book at the Monte Alto library on one of our bi-weekly class visits. Can't wait to read it again, maybe in a year and go back down memory lane.

Well, time to tackle book # 14. I have 29 days to finish it before the end of the year. Definitely doable.

[thewelldressedvagabond]

On the surface of skin deep.

11:11 p.m. on a Saturday night and I'm home alone. Having a drink or two and I've been here just reading, watching youtube videos, thinking, listening to music and enjoying my company. Being solitary.

There's always so much in my head and I spend my time trying to bring it all together, to make sense of it all and how it all fits.

And then it hits, it seeps in. Societal opinions and judgements of who I am and what I'm doing. Luckily it really is just seconds of these moments. These moments of, how sad . . .how lonely. . . how depressing and then poof . . . I've learned to know this is not me, this is not real, those thoughts that seep in. Those thoughts that most of us let invade and take over our lives. Those ideas and non realities we have let society imbue and impose upon us. Gone, I don't have time for that anymore, I don't have time to give to things that don't exist.

I'm here and I'm happy. Truly and utterly happy. I sometimes wonder if I'm fooling myself, if I'm fooling those around me . . . and then I remember my daily interactions. I'm pretty much an open book. Sure, there are still some things I keep to myself. Some things I don't care to broadcast or share just yet, but wait for it. If you know me, you know eventually all will be revealed . . . all will be purged.

I sit here now and I write and I share. I remember I have chosen to do this. I have chosen to be here in my underwear alone writing this, while listening to music, while having a cocktail, while enjoying the cool breeze of fall seep through my open window.

I have taken control of what I can and happily so.

I woke up this morning to a text sent to me at 2:something a.m. from some boy . . . booty call in other words. And I rode the feeling it gave me all day. Aside from that text I had had 2 other texts earlier from 2 other boys . . . with the same intent.

I rode the feeling this gave me. Me, a 43yr old man in his prime. A 43yr old man who is being sought by younger and quite attactive boys and me who makes the choice to decline to not let this and their wants of me define me.

Yet, in a way I actually have and still do let it define me. Their want of me, their booty calls or texts do define me. Those occurrences just helped me now and instigated this writing in a way.

As societal opinion which I spoke of earlier tried to get skin deep, I let myself be reminded that I didn't have to be alone tonight if I didn't want to. But I chose to and happily so.

So . . . my point? Is there a point? I'm purging. I'm reassuring myself. We all need reassurance and at times the only reassurance you can get is from yourself. The ego still needs some stroking and I'm o.k with that. I have to be, don't I?

[thewelldressedvagabond]

Angus & Julia Stone - All This Love (Audio Only)

All This Love by Angus & Julia Stone, as heard in the Netflix Holiday ad 2014. 'Angus & Julia Stone' - New album out now | Download now: http://po.st/AJmusic...

Relationships. Where to begin.

It's something that I think most of us are always trying to figure out. I've had some amazing intimate relationships and when I think back, there is one that I have regrets about.

Not regret that it happened, regret that it didn't happened. Regret that I played a part in not letting it happened. Yet again, I reflect and learn from this and hope for a second chance one day.

Here's to you, Leo Sam.

Where ever you may be, may my part in not letting it happened be a point of contention or negativity in your heart and your soul when and if you ever think of me.

[thewelldressedvagabond]

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky

12th book of the year. (a re-read)

I hadn't consciously planned or made it my goal to finish 12 books in one year, but I have and I'm quite happy about this.

I remember reading this book sometime back in highschool. I knew I was going to love Russian literature when I finished it and I have and still do love Russian literature, though it's been quite a while since I picked some up. I think the last was something by Gogol and this was when I was in University.

Well, it's done. Finished reading this about 2 weeks ago actually, but just hadn't gotten around to posting. (You know how it is, life and its happenstances that sometimes cross your path and tumble things around.)

I loved it and looking forward to reading it again down the road. It's a classic and just one of those books that has something new in it for you to discover, both about yourself and about the world and its people.

Up next and already started . . . light reading apropos to the season. A book that I first read sometime in junior high and loved so much I made sure to remember and later as an adult in NY, tracked and found.

[thewelldressedvagabond]

Recently viewed and thought of a new acquaintance when I saw this. Sent this to him because I thought he would find it interesting, motivating and inspiring. I don't think it registered at all with him, maybe one day it will. If not, maybe something out there from someone out there will trigger what's already in there (in him). I got the feeling he's looking for a trigger.

Well here's a trigger I'm throwing out there, let's see who it triggers.

[thewelldressedvagabond]

“I kept living and am still doing so.“

Is what I will say from now on when someone asks me what I did on such and such day, weekend . . .etc.

Isn't that enough. Just to continue living.

It's quite a struggle for some. It was for me when I was younger. By younger, I mean as a child, growing up . . . what age exactly I can't really pinpoint, but I guess it would have to be the age that I became completely and utterly self-aware of my situations at that time, that age . . . of . . . wow . . . never actually sat down consciously to write about it and therefore never thought about it consciously either . . . hmm well I guess around puberty and sexual identity and all that's intermingled with that . . . by 13 definitely.

Put this part of any younger person's life (puberty and sexual identity) and mix it in with the other grab bag goodies you were born into and well . . . Good luck? Have fun? Keep living!?

What brought on this strange, out of the blue idea/response to a question most people normally ask us?

Mourning and going down memory lane. Mourning someone who I thought would always be part of my current living life, but looks as though I was wrong.

Mourning the death of a relationship that apparently never existed in the way that I thought. So in retrospect as I sit here writing that I'm mourning this . . . how can I mourn what never existed.

No, I'm not mourning that 2nd relationship / friendship that I thought was created after the intial 1st try of a relationship/friendship with the same person didn't work. I'm mourning the actual person.

I'm mourning him as though physically gone from this current life. Why? Well if the likely hood that I ever have any physical or verbal interaction with him in this current life is zero, then isn't that the same as his actual physical death in said current life?

I believe so. I may be wrong. If so, please prove me wrong.

In the meantime, all this being said. I"m done mourning!!

[thewelldressedvagabond]

From a yet to be written/lived story:

"Don't think of yourself as the 'cause when I'm gone . . . just the cataclysm." he wrote as the last lines to his story and closed the final page.

[thewelldressedvagabond]

I've made my bed AND though not ever perfect, I sleep in it peacefully and comfortably every day and night

[thewelldressedvagabond]

Laundry To Air

YES I'm airing my laundry on here. That's what this whole thing about my blog was supposed to be about right.?!

It's interesting how to 1ex-boyfriend I was apparently the best boyfriend ever and yet to another ex-boyfriend (fiance actually) I was so horrible that after almost 10 yrs of having what I thought was a great friendship and love between us, he tells me he basically needs to cut the relationship off for a while and that he guesses he loves me in a way. Ha!! Loves me in a way?! What the hell does that mean?

He loves me in a way we love a long over due solid bowel movement??!! Is that what that means?!

I wasn't and will never be the perfect person to anyone, but I acknowledged so long long ago and took responsibility for my inequities. As I said, to one ex-boyfriend I was apparently the best boyfriend ever, even to this date, just recently he told me that the time with me has been the best of his life.

So to end this, it's sad how long it takes some people to move on and further more to live in hypocrisy preaching forgiveness and peace and love and harmony while in their heart is a form of hate and possibly even regret about another person who only did what he could and knew then to show unconditional love.

Well life goes on, at least for me it does.

**side note, this instigated "art piece" recently posted and to come.

[thewelldressedvagabond]

Directions: To open, twist and turn.**

** Warning!! Contents may be under pressure and volatile. Open at your own risk.

[thewelldressedvagabond]

Dolores Claiborne by Stephen King

11th book of the year. (a re-read)

I fiirst read this book back in 1993 when I was 17. I don't recall how long it took me to read, but unlike this 2nd go 'round, I'm sure it wasn't just a little less than 2 days.

As soon as I started I just had to keep going. I loved it, despite already knowing the story and how it ends and couldn't wait to finish it to find out how it ends. I know I just contradicted myself. What I wrote and wanted to convey is to say that I read as though not knowing how it would end and still had that feeling of wanted to finish it to find out.

A great read indeed and I think one of his best books.

Next, now something a little heavier I think.

Russian?

[thewelldressedvagabond]

The Dark Half by Stephen King

10th book of the year. (a re-read)

Well I said I was going to start something a little heavier this go 'round, but I decided since I would be on vacation to continue with something light. Some brain candy as I like to call it.

I've been a fan of Stephen King's work since as long as I can remember (highschool) and actually met him years later when I lived in NY while I was taking a stroll in Central Park and so was he.

That being said, I first read The Dark Half in 1989 when I was 14yrs old. I definitely remembered the storyline, but I didn't remember it being so graphic in some parts. I won't go into details and spoil it for anyone, but found this . . . well just interesing that I didn't remember this. It has been a long time though and well there has been so much in between I guess it's no surpise.

I did enjoy it again and happy to have strolled down memory lane.

Next up?

Another Stephen King book. I actually finished two of his books in a little under 4 days while on vacation.

[thewelldressedvagabond]

“You should do porn.” and “You should be an escort.”

Ummm . . . thanks!?

How does one respond to this?

[thewelldressedvagabond]

Dormia by Jake Halpern and Peter Kujawinski

9th book of the year. (a re-read)

This is one of those Young Reader’s books for 5th graders and up, so technically I count. Right? Well if you look at Harry Potter, that had just about as many adult readers as young readers I think. Well anyway, not sure why I’m trying to justify my reading this book. I love to read and have always loved Fantasy and thus why I read this book at least 7yrs ago while in NY and being one of the few original books I still have of the many I had, I gave it a read again since I needed something a little lighter than my last couple of reads. I loved it just as much now as I did then and would definitely read it yet again after some time passes.

I think I’m ready for something a little heavier and something new now. Let’s see what’s on my shelf.

I think I see Vidal. Hmmmm.

[thewelldressedvagabond]

Memories of My Melancholy Whores by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

8th book of the year. (a re-read)

He is one of my favorite authors and this book, though small, now I think one of my favorite reads in general. I can't remember when I first read this, though I know it was in NY and thus at least 6-7yrs ago. I also don't remember loving it as much as I did this time. I guess time and experience does change many things and what's changed for me within that time lapse (between the 2 times I've read this book) are all the experiences I've had and the fact that I've traveled and met so many people from all walks of life. I think I may have even come across the man of the memoirs . . . sometimes even getting glimpse of him in my mirror and I know I have definitely come across and interacted with the melancholy whores of the memoir . . . sometimes even getting a glimpse of them in the mirror.

I look forward to reading this again, but time to move on to the next.