i love being a paladin of voltron

real things my friends and i have said or heard

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

lance: 336 days until my birthday!

keith, laughing: of course you would track that

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

pidge: have some balls, lance!

lance: you don’t have any balls!!

pidge: my balls are literally bigger than yours

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

keith: for a whole year, shiro’s car always started up playing a specific song

lance: oh yeah? which song?

keith: whatever it takes by imagine dragons

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

shiro, pointing at the TV: oh! look at this crab migration in cuba!

shiro: …oh that’s disgusting

keith: did you just call a bunch of crabs disgusting?

shiro: yeah did you see how many of them there were?

keith: yeah but how is that disgusting?

shiro: they were ran over by a bunch of people! they were all bloody and-

keith: yeah but how is that disgusting?

shiro: they were all like dead and everything, i dont know! the people could at least use like a windblower to move them, or something!

keith, laughing: a windblower on crabs?

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

pidge: i feel like ive been getting paler

pidge: like now a days most of the vitamin d i get comes out of a tv screen

hunk: oh shoot that’s not good

hunk: you need to go touch some grass fr

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

lance, pointing at a license plate PT1 23S:

lance: hey keith! see that P T S!

keith:

keith: like shiro?

lance: i need your d to be complete

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

lance: siigh

lance: oooh sighhhh

lance: my lips are so dry

lance: it’s a shame nobody’s here to lick them

keith: you share your current class with hunk

keith: get hunk to lick them

lance: kys.

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

lance: klance is my favorite straight ship!

keith: what? we’re not-

lance: i love my girlfriend keith

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

shiro: KEITH

shiro: WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DRINKING OUT OF THE MEASURING CUP

keith: i like it

shiro: IT'S ALWAYS DIRTY WHEN IM TRYING TO BAKE

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

shiro: one time when keith was a kid we were out walking and getting groceries

shiro: and i wasn’t watching him because i was holding his hand

shiro: he was just about car mirror height and i pulled him right into it

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

shiro: when keith was a kid, i used to cut oranges to share with him

shiro: but before i could eat any oranges, he’d already strategically taken a bite out of each slice

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

shiro: he did this at buffets too, so we always had to run after him and pick up each piece of everything he’d taken a bite out of

shiro: nobody ever minded because it was really cute to see this little kid trying everything he could find

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

lance: new headcannon!! any time lance mcclain says something stupid he just starts making out with the person he said it to!

lance: actually its not even a head cannon because i do do it

lance, making a kissy face at keith:

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

lance: is your mouth cold?

keith: no?

lance: i could warm it up for you

keith: i said no

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

shiro, talking to adam: when i used to take keith to elementary school, i think i took him on every single one of the the professional days and holidays

adam: that sounds like a very you thing to do

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

keith: why do americans celebrate red white and blue?

shiro: what?

keith: because those are the french colours? i thought americans were super patriotic about their own country

shiro: be quiet

shiro: if someone hears you they’re gonna beat you up

shiro: and then i will have to beat them up to protect you

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

keith: shiro, do you want to see a video of my dance recital?

shiro: yeah!

keith, showing him the video: do you know which one is me?

shiro: of course i do! i can always tell, even when you were younger

shiro: youre always the one whose a half beat off!

[things-wesaid-thatareklance]

hunk: did you just

hunk: have olive juice?

hunk: after pizza? and then have oatmeal after all of that?

keith: yeah, why?

keith: what’s wrong with that?

hunk: such a strange combination????

keith, eating the oats:

hunk: youre so odd