Untitled

[thinkandcomplain]

New York City Department of Transportation Employee:  I have a wonderful idea.  We will remove lanes of car traffic in one of the most congested areas of the city so we have adequate space to park rental bikes…

  …and then not actually park any bikes there.  Can’t lose!

[thinkandcomplain]

OADD - Order Attention Defecit Disorder

Them: Hello, this is Domino’s.  How may I help you?

Me: Can I have a medium pepperoni pizza, thin crust?

Them:  What is your phone number?

Me: xxx-xxx-xxxx

Them: So a medium pizza? 

Me: Yes

Them: What topping do you want?

Me: Pepperoni

Them:  Thin crust or regular?

Me: Thin crust.

 Also me: *Sigh*

[thinkandcomplain]

Subway Nonsense - Resuming the Vitriol

SPACE MANAGEMENT:

There are a lot of areas, in my opinion, in which the education has failed us all.  Things of practical value have been left out of the curriculum.  One of those things, that would be incredibly useful in the CUNY system for one, is Space Management.  

It is incredibly important in crowded spaces that people do their best to minimize their impact on their fellowman, again, at least in my opinion.  So it is with curled lips and mitigated rage that I address a special group of subway riders who have become a thorn in my side.  It is bad enough that people are rushing onto the trains before others can get off.  It is a travesty that people that stand by the doors do not attempt to step off or make themselves small so that passengers can more readily exit the subway car.  But this new group that, while the train is in the station, deems it necessary to walk to the doors and not exit, deserve special acknowledgement.  Their sole purpose in riding the trains, seemingly, is to get in the way of people that actually have somewhere to go.  As a spanish-speaking friend of mine used to say, Mal Hecho!

MOVES LIKE JAGGER

To the hordes of young men that have decided to make a living by playing loud music, dancing, flipping and kicking people's reading material, a few words to you as well.  Let me start by saying that I can never again donate to your cause and that the site of you makes me nauseous.  I have decided that I cannot reward people for disturbing me.

Following these high-flying theatrics, the young men justify their public disturbance with something about the donations they receive keep them out of the "courthouse and out of your house", implying that the only options available are those that are illegal.  But now, oh the irony!  Dancing and performing in the subway cars is now illegal and could result in a ticket.  So, as irony would have it, these underground aerial theatrics may actually land you in the courthouse and my donations are now aiding and abetting a crime....  Far be it from me to drive the getaway car.

HOW LONG WILL YOU BE AWAY FROM HOME, EXACTLY?

Lastly, at least until the next writing, I would like to say hello to the women who carry all their means of living with them while riding the subway.  I am empathetic; the world has become very complex and there is an increasing amount of things needed to get through the day.  HOWEVER, if you deem it necessary to carry 11 bags with you to and from work, you have to improve your awareness so that your fellow passengers are not unnecessarily jostled, punctured (the stiletto may poke through the bag) or knocked unconcious as you turn, bend, sit and otherwise not stand still while riding the train.  Perhaps investment into the moving alarms that trucks and other large vehicles come with would be wise.  But please, please pay more attention to your personal effects on the train.  I bruise easily.

[thinkandcomplain]

Subway Nonsense - Honorable Mention

Typically there is nothing good worth reporting after a ride on the subway, but I will break tradition today and give tip my cap to two people I encountered this morning (as of the time of the first writing of this).

The sardine can pulled into the station at 125th and the unwashed masses, myself included, jostled for position on the train.  The train was getting down to its last few inches of available space and I thought I might have to catch the next one (which is a frequent occurrence these days).  There was a young woman by the door who saw me scanning for a cranny to wedge into.  She pointed to a small space that I could occupy (imagine that, someone inviting someone else to crowd their space).  However, the man in front of me seemed to be trying to occupy that space with his duffel bag.  I persevered, staring at the space and then the man, the woman providing an additional set of eye intimidation.  The man, in a relative act of benevolence, then turned his bag upward (moving from parallel to the floor to perpendicular) until the cranny reappeared, allowing me to catch this train.  I gave the appropriate thanks and rode uncomfortably down to 59th street in a pleasant mood.  Thank you kind people.

But lets not get carried away...

[thinkandcomplain]

The Mortgage Confusion (Scam)

With the collapse of the housing market, the case has been made by the powers that be that a great way for the average American to increase their wealth has been hurt.  In fact, home ownership has long been a significant part of the American Dream.  I am no expert in finance, mortgages, or anything for that matter, but upon further review, it appears that this American Dream is more expensive than advertised.

For example, if I were to buy a house for $200,000 and after it is paid off sell it for $250,000, elementary math indicates that a profit of $50,000 was made (life is much more complex than this, but bear with me).  However, it is not that simple.  People that work in mortgages and in any other arena of finance keep an upper hand when no one has any clue as to what they are doing.  That being said, if Joe American purchases a house for $200,000, he is going to end up paying a lot more than $200,000.  Again, for example, a $200,000 loan obtained at 4% interest for a 30-year loan, according to a calculator I found on Google, will require monthly payments of $955 or so.  That being said, if I make 360 payments of $955 (30 years x 12 months in a year) I am paying somewhere in the range of $343,000 after 30 years.  That is approximately 70% more than advertised.  The total payments fall to around $266,000 with a 15-year loan.  And I should add that 4% interest on a home loan is a somewhat new phenomenon.  Interest rates have historically been much higher.  That is not a crime, but is the average person aware of this?

If someone is okay with paying that amount per month to live in a place that is comfortable and to their liking, that is great.  But I am not sure that the average person is aware of the real cost of home ownership and I am sure that the financial powers-that-be would have it no other way.  

(In case you are interested, there is a wealth of written material that provides in-depth explanation of all of the other chicanery that takes place in the mortgage world, and specifically what led to the economic collapse some years ago.  The Big Short by Michael Lewis is a good start).

[thinkandcomplain]

Further Notes on Customer Service

I had another wonderful moment of customer service a few weeks ago at a McDonald’s.  This particular McD’s has an upstairs, comfortable seats and the whole McCafe theme (when that was being advertised).  People, including myself, frequently go to do other things besides just eat, such as use their laptops, conduct tutoring sessions, etc.  It operates like a poor man’s Starbucks (minus the outrageous fact that small fries cost $1.99).  The upstairs portion closes in the evening.  An employee will typically give a few minutes notice by announcing “the upstairs is closing in ten minutes” so everyone can hear, or by approaching people individually and making a similar notification, usually including an “excuse me”, or a “sorry”.  The, let’s call him young man, on duty a few weeks ago chose different diction when alerting me to the fact that the upstairs would no longer be available. I was already seated.  I believe his exact words were, “Yo mista, you gotta go downstairs.”  While his tact can use a little work, I can’t knock his brevity.  But I still must ask, what is going on here?

[thinkandcomplain]

Back to the Lows

Just when I thought I was having a positive impact on the community, Best Market personnel have decided to throw a new, demeaning wrench into things. Just to recap, I am not thrilled with being called “Following Guest”.  I further detest being called just “Following”.  Despite my outrage over this, a young lady found a new way to further dehumanize the unsuspecting Best Market customer.  Some days ago, people in line were greeted with, “May I help the Next”. My fellow shoppers and I have been demoted from a Following to a Next.

What is going on here?

[thinkandcomplain]

Subway Nonsense - Lies and Deceit

Dear Mr./Ms. Train Conductor,

Yes, people are trying to cram into the train and are still in the doors while you are trying to close them.  Yes, a crowded train is bound to be a few minutes late.  And yes, we know your hands begin to hurt after trying and failing to get the doors completely closed over and over again.  However, if you have no personal knowledge of another train "being directly behind this one", please don't lie to the public and say that their is.  Isn't there some code of ethics that would preclude lying to thousands of people?  Aren't you being paid for this time anyway?

   We, the straphangers, have suffered enough.  Please do not add willful deception to our list of complaints. -Increasingly Irate Passenger

[thinkandcomplain]

Glorious Moments - An Introduction

A former boss of mine used to announce his arrival to the office by proclaiming loudly, "Its a glorious day!"  In honor of those fond moments, I have decided to relate some other "glorious" moments that I have witnessed, if for no other reason so I don't forget them.

   One such moment came courtesy of this same boss.  In reference to a colleague's recent weight gain, he explained this phenomenon by noting that "he is swelling up like a drown victim."  To this day, that may be the single funniest thing I have ever heard.

Glorious moments indeed...

[thinkandcomplain]

NYC and Commercial Real Estate

The last things that New York City needs are more people, housing and commerical real estate.  Unfortunately, the only things New York City now builds are housing, which leads to more people, and space for commercial use.  It is beyond outrageous with no end in site.

I am not an expert in anything, but it has become glaringly obvious that something is amiss in the world of commercial real estate ("greed" is probably an appropriate one word summary).  I have never, ever, including during the aftermath of the economic collapse circa 2009, seen so many commercial spaces for lease or rent.  It is truly mind-boggling.  But what takes the mind-boggling to levels not seen since Pete Carroll called a pass play on the goal line during the Superbowl, is that more and more are being built.  Every residential space that is being built, at least so it seems, inevitably comes with store fronts and commerical space to be leased.  Even a new Charter School that was built on 125th street in Manhattan (I find this particularly scandalous by the way, Charter Schools being a perpetual financial quagmire) came equipped with retail space for lease.  Can we please learn to build something else?  

I would also like to add that New York City has long been overcrowded.  The powers that be that in one breath talk about having to expand subway service and add congestion pricing for Manhattan to accommodate a burgeoning population, have answered this problem by allowing brick upon brick of residential space to be built in every nook and cranny in the city.  The irony (I wish I had a larger vocabulary to better classify this) of this is that there is always this fight for more affordable housing.  There are empty apartments galore and developers are having no problem at all getting their buildings built.  Why is this still an issue?

Maybe at a future date we can discuss (as if there is a second party to this) the fact that the subways have become large-scale sardine cans, the fact that there are long lines everywhere and for everything and that these new street configurations, courtesy of New York City Department of Transportation, have only exacerbated the problem.  

Until the next complaint...

[thinkandcomplain]

Subway Nonsense: Unformation

There is a post pending about the sorry state of affairs when it comes to communicating disruptions in service in the New York City subways to waiting passengers.  But until the more comprehensive denunciation is finished, let me just say this...

I cannot be held responsible for what I might do if I hear one more announcement about a delay due to a "rail condition".  This phrase is used solely for the purpose of conveying no information at all.  The rails are always in some condition whether it be good, bad, hot, on fire, dirty, etc.  Please don't bother making an announcement that says nothing.  It is the equivalent of someone saying they have a temperature; every living person always has a temperature.  It is having a fever that may be problematic.  With that said, I would appreciate less effort providing unformation and more effort telling me the best way to navigate around such disruptions (more to come in an upcoming post).

-Becoming Increasingly Irate Passenger

[thinkandcomplain]

Creating Conflict

At some point, I will give those who are working the registers a break… but we have not yet reached that point.

I understand that the line needs to move fast.  I get it that people are in a hurry to come and go, but the elements of order, decorum, courtesy and a plethora of other things that keep society from spiraling into complete chaos are getting thrown to the side for the sake of expediency.

To Whomwhatsoever it may concern, namely those working the registers,

Please do not call me, or whoever the “following” customer may be, to the register until the previous customer has started moving away and has completely finished their transaction.  I am uncomfortable having to scream over the heads of people, jostle them while they are still putting money in their bags, or having to repeat myself since, as far as they are concerned, their transaction is not finished and they are still emphasizing how hot they want their coffee while I am trying to order mine.  Waiting another five seconds won’t kill anyone.  Oh, and let me not forget!  Please (and please note my politeness) do not call me to the register if you plan on turning and walking away as I start to order.  That is a tad bit rude, the exact opposite of what customer service should be.  Granted, New York City has never been a beacon of quality customer service, but you could at least pretend that you don’t loathe my presence in your establishment.  

Best Regards,

Slightly Salty Next Customer in Line

[fashionseeking13]

That happen yesterday in Marshall! The lady who was next got very upset and told the cash register to let the man ahead of her leave first. She didn’t want him seeing her underwear LOL

[thinkandcomplain]

LOL... that is hilarious, but I don’t blame her. 

[thinkandcomplain]

Creating Conflict

At some point, I will give those who are working the registers a break… but we have not yet reached that point.

I understand that the line needs to move fast.  I get it that people are in a hurry to come and go, but the elements of order, decorum, courtesy and a plethora of other things that keep society from spiraling into complete chaos are getting thrown to the side for the sake of expediency.

To Whomwhatsoever it may concern, namely those working the registers,

Please do not call me, or whoever the “following” customer may be, to the register until the previous customer has started moving away and has completely finished their transaction.  I am uncomfortable having to scream over the heads of people, jostle them while they are still putting money in their bags, or having to repeat myself since, as far as they are concerned, their transaction is not finished and they are still emphasizing how hot they want their coffee while I am trying to order mine.  Waiting another five seconds won’t kill anyone.  Oh, and let me not forget!  Please (and please note my politeness) do not call me to the register if you plan on turning and walking away as I start to order.  That is a tad bit rude, the exact opposite of what customer service should be.  Granted, New York City has never been a beacon of quality customer service, but you could at least pretend that you don’t loathe my presence in your establishment.  

Best Regards,

Slightly Salty Next Customer in Line

[thinkandcomplain]

From New Lows to New Risings

It is admittedly a long shot, and even that may be an understatement, but could it be that I am effecting change in Harlem?  I complained in a previous post about the use of “following guest” by cashiers and those of similar occupation, most notably in Best Market where even that pernicious phrase was abbreviated to the ever-demeaning “following”.  It appears, however, that my cries for humanization have been heard.  

During a visit to Best Market earlier this week, on a quest to satisfy a strange craving for something gooey produced in the Entenmann’s lab, I was pleasantly surprised by what I heard.  The employees behind the registers were not spewing their typical vitriol to the next person in line with “following”.  Instead, though the tone was still less than amiable, “next in line”, “please step down” and other normal indications that it was safe to make my way towards a register with my items, could be heard.  I probably have no business at all taking credit for this, but since I have accomplished so little, and been given credit for even less, I am going to take this and run with it.  

�

[thinkandcomplain]

Airline profits up 54 percent from last year on cheaper fuel

U.S. airline earnings jumped 54 percent in the latest quarter thanks mostly to lower jet fuel costs and higher revenue from baggage and ticket-change fees. Passenger airlines reported net income of $5.5 ...

Confirmation that I am not completely crazy

[thinkandcomplain]

Still Gassy

I am not sure where to go with this, so maybe I will just go everywhere…

To All Airlines:  I have not forgotten.  To Most Gas Suppliers:  I have not forgotten you either.

Way back when, circa 2008, there was a time when gas prices were increasing at an exponential rate (and when I say gas prices, I refer first to the price of crude barrels which then affects the prices that the customer sees at the end of the chain). Some interesting things happened during this time.  Before we get to the interesting things, however, was there ever a satisfactory explanation as to why the prices skyrocketed the way they did?  Not that I can recall.  Did the Exxon Mobil investors ever start purchasing stocks again after dumping them?  Who knows. It might be worth mentioning why many investors bailed.  While the general public was being fleeced through the nose, Exxon Mobil was raking in record profits in each quarter (something like $10 billion).  I don’t mean record for Exxon, but record for everyone, forever.  I believe they broke the all-time record for profit in a quarter.  When they failed to break a record in a subsequent quarter, investors bailed, allegedly unhappy with the company’s lackluster performance (I think they only missed the record by some millions; nobody was starving). Tough crowd, but I digress….

Back to the interesting things (for the purposes of this piece, “egregious” has been euphemized with the word “interesting”).  A result of this meteoric rise in the price of oil was the airlines finding new ways to rake its customers over the coals.  The coal raking came in the form of ridiculous fees; “Oh you actually want to bring luggage with you on vacation?  That’ll be $100.  Oh, you want to eat during this 5 hour flight?  That’ll be $15.  Wait, let me get this straight… you want water too?  You are better off bringing your own.  Oh, wait…. You can’t bring water through airport security?  Drink up before you leave the house, or we are pleased to offer you a 10 oz. bottle, once you have been thoroughly violated by airport security, at the cost of your firstborn.  By the way, that ticket you saw for $400 a week ago is now $800 if you book right now.  If you wait any longer, your children will have to forgo their college education.” And so it went.  

The reasoning behind the addition of these numerous fees was that the airlines were in financial trouble due to the exorbitant cost of oil.  However, here we are some years later, when I can buy a barrel of crude on sale at Target since it is so cheap, and yet these fees still exist (not that any reasoning person would expect them to go away) and continue to grow in number and absurdity.  Airlines: I cannot accuse you of lying but your new business model, which may soon well mandate that passengers bring their own seats, seems, dare I say, opprobrious.  

As for Exxon, Shell, BP and anyone else who offers liquid product for the purpose of powering automobiles, allow me to give you honorable mention.  Although I do not know the math or the formula that determines what the price at the pump should be (“as much as we can get away with without being investigated”), there seems to be a serious disconnect at the moment.  The last time oil was $45 a barrel, let’s say, the average gas price was $1.75 a gallon (more or less).  When the price of crude peaked at $145 a barrel in the summer of 2008, the average gas price was $4.10 (more or less).  Now that the price of crude has been back in the $40s, and has even spent some time in the $38 range, the average gas price is still $2.50 (more or less).  Please tell me the math used to explain that.  Hasn’t the cost of refining, transporting and so forth gone down in the last seven years? I would also ask for an explanation regarding posting only the cash price on your signs when the credit card price is higher, but let’s not get carried away.

Despite the multitude of Kardashian-based news items you show me to try to provide distraction, I have not forgotten.

[thinkandcomplain]

Clarified Job Description

What is the job description of a New York City Transit train conductor?  Well, I would like to propose the following, but am more than agreeable to outside suggestions:

·         Open the doors when, and only when, trains are safely in the station (and on the appropriate side)

·         Close the doors when, and only when, it will not sever the limb of an unsuspecting straphanger, or leave them unconscious or staggering from a sideways blow to the head or torso (exception can be made for the obstinate passenger who is holding the door for someone two levels up, continuing to swipe at the turnstile, unable to comprehend what “insufficient fare” means… or similar offenders)

·         Inform passengers about any delays or unanticipated interruptions, or diversions to their trip

·         Some other stuff no one else besides conductors know about that goes on before and after passengers have embarked and disembarked the train

The above probably falls far short of a comprehensive list, but I think it covers the gist.  This is why I am sometimes confounded when a conductor goes above his or her paygrade and feels the need to comment on my cultivation of the quality of patience.  In some cases, when a delay is in progress the conductor will say, “We are delayed due to train traffic ahead.  We will be moving shortly.  Thank you for your patience,” or something to that effect.  I find it a bit presumptuous for someone that does not know me to assume I am being patient, but I do appreciate them giving me the benefit of the doubt.  On the other hand, what really works my nerves, which is not a difficult task, are the conductors that take it a step further with, “We are delayed due to train traffic ahead.  We will be moving shortly.  Please be patient.”  To these conductors, I would like to say the following:

Mr. or Ms. Conductor,

Please make moving the train in a safe and expeditious manner your priority and do not, I repeat do not, concern yourself with my level of patience or dare have the audacity to request that I sustain a certain level of it.  This is a personal matter and none of your business.  You are an authority figure when it comes to how the train operates and my behavior therein.  You have no authority, however, over how I should feel when you and your colleagues fail to move the train in a manner that my $116.50 every 30 days calls for.

Your immediate attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.

 Sincerely,

  Patient or Irate, whatever and whenever I so choose, Customer