balls @thinkoutsideofthehorse - Tumblr Blog

The International Phonetic Alphabet consonants found in English, with keywords and relevant parts of the mouth highlighted and colour-coded. (Source.)

pervocracy

Pronouncing each of these in sequence is a very strange and amusing physical sensation, and I highly recommend it.

elodieunderglass

haha look it’s where those noises live in your dang FACE, TRY IT

oppa-homeless-style

full offense but why is incest stuff such a common kink

carnival-phantasm

Because Freud gave weird people the excuse they wanted

oppa-homeless-style

someone gimme that bald fuck’s address, I’m gonna slap his ass in

carnival-phantasm

@oppa-homeless-style you’re a bit late, nobby

everydaylouie

thinkin’ about…grilled cheese

valtsv

power move: saying “that’s treason” every time someone does something that mildly inconveniences you

bigot-tears

Donald Trump ghostwrote this

valtsv

awfully bold of you to assume trump could spell ‘inconveniences’

officialunitedstates

“What does the chef recommend?”

“Sir, this is a mcdonalds”

hilarioushumorfromouterspace

fullarmor-thunderbolt

mark fuckerburg

fullarmor-thunderbolt

slap your balls and die

fullarmor-thunderbolt

at this point comedy is a moving target and im just flailing my arms in a vain hope to hit it

vargamornight

#you hit it twice man

alltheladiesyouhate

do you ever watch something and think “this was written by a man”

humanbeanisnotamused

i was up late night watching an episode of criminal minds fairly recently, for lack of a better thing to do. in the opening scene there are these two girls getting into their car in like a supermarket parking lot, not very well lit, in the middle of the night. another car drives up right behind theirs and won’t move out of the way so this one girl is like “im gonna go see what this guy’s problem is” and gets out of the car, in a poorly lit parking lot, to confront a man who was behaving aggressively to them.

so that was the precise moment i realised that episode was written by a man.

outcider

I was watching an episode of CSI where the entire reason they were going forward with the case was that ‘no woman would wear a bra this expensive without also wearing the matching panties’. What porn logic is this? I was, at that moment, wearing the exact bra the Jane Doe was wearing and fuck no I didn’t spring for the matching panties. Even if I did, I wouldn’t wear them as often as a bra. Panties I wash daily. Bras? Not so much.

But in CSI World, police resources were being mobilized on how irregular it would be for a woman to wear a $36 bra, but not caring about how she would look in just underthings.

tiger-in-the-flightdeck

Never mind not matching, but that they think $36 is expensive for a bra is probably the number one sign it was written by a man.

thequeerofthenorth

In Star Wars Padmé goes for Anakin while Ewan McGregor is around

thebootydiaries

me: i love this band

someone 30-40 years older than me: they’ve been around for awhile you just getting into them?

me: why didn’t you prevent vietnam?

ninenine-brooklyn

drunkenhills

Real men can only hope to become like Terry

mainelysyd

thelastpilot

Sick ass adventure wizard investigates native crustacean with his supportive but easily spooked familiar

elodieunderglass

On this aesthetic I will build my church and all the powers of hell will not conquer it

naamahdarling

Coyote Peterson met a young ocelot in the jungle. This ocelittle frequents tourist trails in a wildlife park, and so it’s accustomed to people and doesn’t see them as a threat.

It fiercely “attacked” him.

It stole his socks.

It picked a fight with a crab.

You should watch all of these. But especially the crab one.

You’re welcome.

He is so clearly enchanted with her even when she’s chewing on his head. It’s wonderful.

elodieunderglass

What a fantastic world we live in!!!

gogomrbrown

Lovely.

terror-foster

What a punch

trashbandikyut-deactivated20181

This happened in Seattle. The nazi was shouting at people and telling folks of color to get out of the country, a crowd gathered after he chucked a banana at someone, anothe rperson told him off, then this guy punched him. No one called the cops. When he finally woke up he was asking for help getting up and the few who tried were told he’s a nazi and immediately dropped his ass. The cops finally had to come helpnpick his ass up. He refused to really tell the cops what happened as he took his armband off.

The story is fucking wild.

http://www.thestranger.com/slog/2017/09/18/25419894/witness-neo-nazi-threw-a-banana-before-he-got-socked-in-the-face