Untouchable

24 | Phoenix | Hufflepuff | Dean Girl | Smart ass

[arancar-no-6]

Mads Mikkelsen is such an anomaly as an actor?? and a human being in general????

He doesn’t remember SHIT about filming Casino Royale (he didn’t even REALIZE he was auditioning for a part in the first place, he said he just literally walked in and instantly got the job?! To the point Daniel Craig borderline interrogated him for how he got cast so easily, considering he had to undergo MULTIPLE AUDITIONS before he got cast himself??)

He wasn’t overwhelmingly interested in NBC Hannibal’s lead role until he found out that long-time bestie Hugh Dancy was already cast as the other lead (HUGH TOO. He hyped himself up for having Mads as his co-star, forgot that decision wasn’t up to him, then sat anxiously by his phone for confirmation from the network. NERD. NERDS. BOTH OF THEM).

“You should make a movie in Denmark!“, i.e. Mads’ drunken solution to ensure he and Hugh could hang out more often because they live in different countries. What a darling.

According to Janice Poon, he’ll eat anything. No matter how gross. Including frigid bone marrow with a straight face.

And then he only hopped onto Death Stranding because his son, a prolific gamer, recognized what a huge deal Hideo Kojima is and told him he had to… Carl Jacobsen Mikkelsen has the sort of power we can only dream of.

He was pretty much entirely unfamiliar with Star Wars before he was cast as Galen Erso (I distinctly recall him grimacing in the bg during a cast interview when asked if they’ve watched their new film yet, with Ben Mendelsohn giving him a very pointed knowing smirk because he KNEW. HE KNEW MADS HADN’T SEEN IT YET-) and spent plenty of time failing quite miserably at SW trivia games with the cast.

Then that one interview where he casually cracks a bottle of liquor open on camera. What an icon.

And correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe a major reason he joined the cast of Dr. Strange was because he was going to be allowed to perform his own stunt and fight scenes?? I think the convo went something along the lines of “Will I get to fight?” “Ye-” “Ok”.

His female co-stars swoon at him. He literally causes hoards of his male co-stars to seriously begin questioning their sexuality.

If it wasn’t for his team he’d probably show up to every award show in the latest neon adidas athletic wear.

Reminds his wife on a constant basis that she’s married to the sexiest man alive from like ten years ago or smth. I think Hanne said he even has the clipping stating so and sometimes pulls it out.

Is he even real???

[eldbitch-horror]

Love cryptid discussions

[pragnificent]

[acklesforlife]

[ifonlymp3-deactivated20220624]

i highly doubt anyone has a screenshot of this but please if you happen to have a pic of the tweet of the guy’s package on the roof and the caption says “Are you cunts fucking bent? @auspost” please please please reach out

[ifonlymp3-deactivated20220624]

miracles are real

[gumtooth]

the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression

[toastoat]

“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”

[ironicbaking]

i thought this was me at first and i was really confused

[toastoat]

omg hi

[cinnamonfreckles5]

WE’RE MULTIPLYING

[jetliners]

uhhhhhhh

[boota]

hey

[movedtowerescientist]

I FINALLY FOUND IT

[gallusrostromegalus]

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

[gallusrostromegalus]

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

[krwzprtt]

[thenatsdorf]

Slo-mo ear flick. (via wildcatcentre)

[justjensenanddean]

@JensenAckles | jensenackles

[mygoldenwolf]

You’ve heard of “thanks, I hate it,” but allow me to introduce to you:

[yesterdaysprint]

The Salem News, Ohio, January 13, 1908

[naamahdarling]

[strawbebbynya]

[thecheshirecass-deactivated2018]

These are so cute they’re almost physically painful

[disgustinganimals]

It’s a double attack. First your heart then your blankets.

[talk-nerdy-to-me-thyla]

[blackcoffeecinnamon]

Clare Turlay Newberry (1903-1970)

Cat Napping,  before 1940

[dankmemeuniversity]

[agaystarfleetcadet]

on all levels except physical i am a member of starfleet

[swingsetindecember]

where a superhero has a friend who is their ride. like even the villains respect it, because the friend is like the most normal and nice person ever

“that’s claire, she drove me here”

*claire waves from a prius*

“will you need a lift back?”

“no, have fun on your date”

the being of interdimensional destruction:.  c̗͎̲̲̞͍͚̓̏̑̀̍̎͡l̬̫̭͈̙̥͈̯͈̣͐̓͗͡͞à̗̱̻̱̤̪̳̍̈̓̉̈̾͗͜͡͡ͅi̶̹̙̯͕͈̱̖͗̈͊̉̿̔̒͠r̪̞͉̻̖͔̱̃́̆̽̂͑͂͘͜͟ȩ̴̡̘̻̥͚̣͐̉̏͆͠ i̢͈̣͙̼͒̑̌̃̈́͗̂͂̈́s̷̙̹͚̝͈̟̝̙̈́̇͋̀͋͂̌͘ d̛̻̞̥͇͎̝̰͐̽̒̄̓̂͟ä̴̬̝͈̼̩̭̦͓́̍̑͂̀̀̅̆̆͜͠t͎̼̭͍̜͍͂͌̍̏̚̚͞͡į̴͕̞̺̤̥̟̻̲̽͊̂̔̃͡ņ̴̢͔̹̫̲̮̩̃̈́͛̊̓͡͝g̛̪̗̜̝̹͉̠̞͉͂͂̀̉̽̇͊͢͝͡ ȧ͎̰̜̱̰͛͒̇̋͠g̴̢̞̳͈͇̩͈̻̃̎͑͆̈́̒̀͝ͅa̛̰̲̗̼̗̳̫̩̖͒́͒̔̃ǐ̛̺̗̯̰̳̟̣̓̿̐͛̋͊̕n̶͓̟͚̦̔̎̓̿̏͢͝͝?̵̺̬̜̝̗͖̣̑̏̂͠͠͠

[winterinthetardis]

*shows up 15 months late with starbucks* anyway here’s my vine compilation

[sparkle-fart-69]

Fuck, Millennials are fucking hilarious

[tamalehousenumber4-deactivated2]

I always feel better about youths after a good vine comp.

[tha--snazzle]

t-t-t-t-t-target!!!!!

[prettyindeath]

[kitty]

AAAAAAAA PLAY WITH SOUND AGAIN OMG MY HEART