Itās the middle of 2018. Iām in the middle of my twenties (okay, a little past āmiddleā), and I still donāt know whatās going on. Anyone else feel that? Iāve been in conversations about the difficulty of getting through your twenties in one piece. I tend to say something about the older generation; questioning why we were never warned or taught how to get through this decade. But today Iām going to step back from that thought. The fact is, every person goes through this decade in very different ways that itās hard to pin down a āhow-toā list or principles that can be applied to everyone. People who get married at 21 are living a different decade than a 27 year-old running for Congress. And the way one chooses to navigate their twenties is vastly different depending upon goals, influences, and mental states. Itās no wonder why I question ever getting out of bed.
But without a doubt no one will argue that whatever your twenties looks like, itās pretty dang difficult. For many of us, we maybe graduated college, had to file taxes for the first time (with several W-2s, most likely), and started to figure out personal finances if we even managed to develope a decent savings account. The newness of each year can be both exhilarating and overwhelming. For me, I canāt manage to plan farther than six months at a time because there is always an expected dramatic twist of events that will deeply impact my life in some way that I need to prepare for. Be it a new educational venture, quitting a job, or moving hundreds of miles away; your twenties is most certainly nothing short of a whirlwind.
So what can be certain during this time for us?
This is not the part where I give you five points of living a perfectly stable twenties decade and manage to land $1,000 in your savings by next month. Cuz if youāre like me, weāre both in this whirlwind together. Iām just gonna share one thought that came to mind while reading the book of James from the Bible: growing pains give lasting gains. Clever, I know.
Take yourself back to when you were going through puberty. It was an intense time for your body, your emotions, and probably your social anxiety. Your body goes through growth spurts that are painful for many kiddos. Imagine if every time you faced those growing pains that you were able to stop them instantly. You had some crazy app that was attached to your body where you could scroll to the settings and opt out of growing pains. Well, what is also opted out is the growing part. You remain exactly where youāre at with your body, your emotions, your way of life. While avoiding the pains of growing, you also avoid a lot of great things. Like stronger bones, bigger muscles, brain development, hormones that balance out, and more. You miss out on the benefits of going through the growing pains to receive lasting gains.
That scenario seems pretty out there, but how often have we stunted our own growth? Looking back at all the hard stuff of living in your twenties, how often did you find yourself navigating the difficulties for the sake of maturity? Did you learn from the mistakes? Or did you flounder in a state of self-pity and blaming external factors for where youāre at in your life?
The first chapter of the book of James says ācount it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.ā (James 1: 2-3; emphasis mine)
James was writing to the Christian Jews during an intense time of persecution that left communities dispersed from one another. He chose to open up his letter with hard truth perspective. He knew from Jesus that hard things are promised to those who follow Him. James himself ended up being stoned to death for following Jesus. Yet, Jamesā perspective reflected a person of both spiritual and emotional maturity: growing pains will give lasting gains. And I donāt want to say that lightly. Growing pains can be as simple as bodily changes and as intense and complex as being persecuted for your beliefs.
Regardless of the types of difficulties, there is still much to be gained if one is faithful to growing and persevere through it all. And that is what Iāll be gaining for the remainder of my twenties: it is my personal choice to let this decade of difficulties be my lessons. It is my responsibility to myself to let steadfastness have its full effect in my life. That means to not give up half way into my plans. That is I truly desire to make something of my life that it is 100% my responsibility to make that happen because no one else will live my life for meā and no one should for that matter.
So whatever the remaining years of this crazy decade will bring me, whatever desires I will try to fulfill, who will enter and exit my life, my goal will be steadfastness. A faithfulness to self, a commitment to God, a loyalty to others who love me. Itās a promise to myself to be continually passionate to live a good life, indiscriminate of circumstance. And maybe thatās why the twenties are so wild. Maybe thatās the lesson of this decade and we all learn it one way or another.
