[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

It took me too long to get this and once I did I was filled with rage.

[squidwardhentaicles]

I got this joke instantly, whore.

[popegoodvibes-returns]

Reblog and share if you understood the joke and OP is a whore of babylon

[mysharona1987]

[weatheredlaw]

Hey guys. This is my new best friend. I’m making a cake.

I made my batter from scratch, and I made a strawberry yogurt frosting.

Cannot wait to see what this weird little guy looks like.

[weatheredlaw]

The lamb is done. The lamb is cooling.

[weatheredlaw]

the lamb did not come out of the pan very well. features have been lost. frosting may be needed to rescue the lamb.

[weatheredlaw]

Behold. My son.

[0meadow-deactivated20200602]

quitting my job to focus on getting sluttier

[foreverimthatgirl-deactivated20]

me after intense daydreaming: i saw things.. i imagined.

[anxietyproblem]

[rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv]

rich ppl are like so easily convinced abt ghosts I remember growing up it was near this vacant lot and whenever I broke a toy instead of going to face the wrath of my mother I would fucking bury it in that lot and then sure enough, some dude tried to develop the land and found a ton of buried rotten dolls and shit and told everyone it was haunted

it’s been over a decade and that lot is still vacant 

[johnnyfourballs]

You single handedly tanked the value of someone’s prime real estate and that makes me happy

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

As soon as I read this I immediately started thinking of ways to do this on purpose to get cheap land and I was five posts down my dash before I realised I was becoming Scooby Doo villain

[archive95205-blog]

[shaniae]

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

[trainhardrunfast]

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

[evangelinethewitch]

I want both a cat and $1700

[breelandwalker]

Rebageling the Magical Money Cat

Because who couldn’t use a little extra cash

[kaijuno]

[thundergrace]

You just KNOW they talking about anime.

[jhenne-bean]

She teaching him how to pronounce Naruto correctly

[otter4dumplings]

[bisexuanal]

I hate men so much they literally are like this. Purposeful incompetence to avoid responsibilities they don’t want …………… the comments on this post on fb were So bad

[patrickat]

Save the leftovers. Throw the whole man out.

[runcibility]

Imagine being this fucking petty over a reasonable request to do even a fraction of the share of housework, and thinking you’re a good partner. Makes you understand how so many dudes can be clueless and full of shit on so many other topics, too.

[smitethestate]

I hope his wife poured a glass of spaghetti and gulped it slowly while making steady eye contact with him as her lawyer presented the divorce papers.

[soryualeksi]

“Haha, that’ll TEACH my wife!!”

Dude, you’re supposed to LOVE her. I hope she sees this and dumps your worthless ass. While she has that glass of spaghetti.

[january-warlock]

#marie kondo your marriage

[bloodytales]

Don’t put up with stupid. If your husband or boyfriend does this may I suggest… well… treating him like the idiot he pretends to be? Use it as a “teaching moment.”

“Honey come here. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you didn’t know what Tupperware you have to use. Here, let me explain every container we have. That way the next time you have to put food away you know which container to use.”

And then proceed, in excruciating detail, which containers are which, what they are used for, the correct lids, and how to put on the lids. Do it in as condescending voice as possible.

If he tries to say that he knows, or tries to stop you in any way, just calmly say, “no, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by this. It’s okay to admit you don’t know how to do something. Next time just ask, sweetie.” And continue in as much inane detail as possible.

If he tries this bullshit again, pat him on the head, and say “good try, but let’s review” and then do it all over again.

[peniswakt-deactivated20210717]

china, 2500 years ago:

guy 1: hey what should we put in this boiling water

guy 2, an absolute fucking genius: uh……………..

leaves.

[wheresmyphonemp3]

[localadmin]

oh you like history? name everything that ever happened

[cloacacarnage]

[super-metroid]

[stuffedanimalpurse-deactivated2]

me, talking to a dog: you’re soft. are you even aware of your mortality? of course ur not. u pure, wholesome and sentient unselfish being. do u feel that? that’s my heart. i love you. look at those ears. here take my wallet

[1846273638-blog-deactivated2014]

some kid: just drop your trash on the floor it’ll be picked up that’s what the cleaners are paid for

me: my mama said we can’t be friends anymore effective right now immediately