Disability is not an abusive roommate
Nondisabled storytellers often seem to think of disability as an abusive roommate coming and imposing its will on a disabled person. When they think about wheelchair users, they donât think about the mobility thatâs made possible by assistive technology. They think about how theyâd feel if someone chained them to a wheelchair and forcibly prevented them from walking.
This misconception is dangerous. When people see disability-related limitations as similar to violent restraint, they donât know know to tell the difference between the innate limitations of someoneâs body and limitations being forcibly imposed on them by others. When people donât understand the difference between living with a disability and living with an abuser, they assume that abusive experiences are inevitable for people with disabilities.
In reality, thereâs nothing inevitable about abuse. Coming up against the limitations of your body is fundamentally different from being forcibly restrained by someone else. Whether or not you are disabled, having physical limitations is part of having a body. Being disabled means that you have a different range of physical limitations than most other people do, but they donât come color coded ânormalâ and âdisabledâ. When youâre used to the way your body works, the disability-related limitations feel pretty similar to those that arenât disability-related.
Using assistive technology is pretty similar to using technology for any other important reason. Everyone uses technology to do things that their bodies alone would be too limited to do. Most people use cars to go further than they could walk; some people also use wheelchairs to go further than they could walk. Some people type or use communication tablets to say more than they could with their bodies alone; some people use musical instruments; some people use both. People with disabilities have different limitations, and as a result, often benefit from technology that wouldnât be particularly useful to nondisabled people.
When technology is associated with disability, people tend to have the dangerous misconception that using it is the same as being restrained. This can very easily become self-fulfilling. When people prevent disabled people from doing things, their inability to do it is often misattributed to their disability. For instance:
Wheelchairs as restraints:
Anthony lives in a nursing home.
Anthony speaks oddly, and most people interpret most of what he says as meaningless. They say âAnthony doesnât communicateâ.
Anthony can walk and wants to walk, but the nursing him staff donât let him.Â
George, the supervisor, tells Sage, another staff member, âAnthony wanders. We need to keep him in his wheelchair to keep him safe. Just lock the seatbelt. After a few minutes, he stops resisting.â
Every morning, Sage puts Anthony in a wheelchair that he canât move, and ties him down so he canât escape.
Sage tells Marge, a new volunteer, âThatâs Anthony. Itâs so nice to have a volunteer - heâs been spending most of his time in the hallway lately. He doesnât walk or talk, but he loves visiting the garden! Can you take him there?â
Marge and Sage donât know what Anthony actually wants, and it doesnât occur to them that itâs possible to ask.
Anthony actually hates the garden and hates being pushed by other people. He prefers to spend his time in the library or with children in the childrenâs wing.
Marge assumes that Sage is the expert on Anthony, and assumes that Anthonyâs disability prevents him from walking and communicating.
Marge doesnât know that Anthony has stopped talking because heâs constantly surrounded by people who refuse to listen to him.Â
Marge doesnât know that Sage is tying Anthony to a wheelchair against his will to stop him from going where he wants to go.
Marge doesnât know that sheâs doing something to Anthony against his will.
When people see disability and restraint as the same thing, they fail to notice that people with disabilities are being violently restrained â and often unwittingly participate in physical abuse of disabled people.
The disability-as-restraint misconception also causes people to fail to understand that when they deny people access to assisstive technology, theyâre preventing them from doing things, eg:
Beck is an eight year old who canât walk.
Beck has a wheelchair, but heâs not allowed to bring it to school.
At school, heâs strapped into a stroller that others push around.Â
His classmate Sarah has *never* had a wheelchair that she can push herself.
At a staff meeting, Lee, their teacher, says âBecause of their disabilities, Sarah and Beck canât move around by themselves. Even though they stay in one place all day, theyâre so fun to have in our class!â
Lee is missing the crucial fact that the reason Sarah and Beck are immobile is because theyâre being denied access to assistive technology.Â
When people see disability and externally-imposed limitation as the same thing, they donât notice limitations being imposed on disabled people.
Rebecca types on her iPad to communicate.
Clay takes away Rebeccaâs iPad.
Clay tells Sophie, âRebecca is nonverbal. Her disability prevents her from communicating, but weâre working on improving her speech.â
Sophie sees that Rebecca canât talk, and assumes that itâs her disability thatâs preventing her from communicating.
Actually, itâs *Clay* who is preventing Rebecca from communicating.
When people see disability and abuse as the same thing, they donât notice abuse of disabled people.
Itâs important to be clear on the difference between disability and abuse. Disability is not an abusive roommate; people with disabilities are only abused if someone is abusing them. When people with disabilities are restrained against their will, this is not caused by their disabilities; itâs caused by the people who are restraining them. Restraint is an act of violence, not an innate fact about disability. When wheelchairs are used as restraints, the wheelchair isnât the problem; the violence is the problem. When people are denied access to assistive technology, itâs not their disability thatâs limiting them; itâs neglect. When we stop conflating disability and abuse, weâre far less likely to see abuse of people with disabilities as inevitable.
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