The first year into having three major diagnoses and hospital-level flare ups, I said to a family member that I thought it would be helpful to have a wheelchair for certain events, because on bad or even good days, standing/walking for even a “short” period of time (especially on a sunny day) can make me really sick. The consequence of one fun day is often weeks or even a month or two of slow recovery. My body does not bounce back like yours.
They got really weirdly angry with me, putting on a “tough parent” voice, “No. You do not need a wheelchair. That is absolutely ridiculous. You can walk.”
And then year after year they have watched me cry and throw up and lose sleep and work and a social life over painful activity-induced flare ups that could’ve possibly been avoided if I didn’t force myself into negative spoons just because I can physically walk.
This is what the “you can walk, you’re not disabled” flavor of ableism does—it forces us to over-exert ourselves into agony—just because people have opinions about us letting our body rest in a wheelchair rather than running our limited energy reserves into the ground.
Not to derail from the point made here, just to clarify: wheeling yourself in a wheelchair is hard work, too! Sitting for hours causes pain. Being jolted by the terrain you’re on and going up and down curbs is uncomfortable, as well as often dangerous and painful. The idea that people using wheelchairs are just too lazy to walk in a world designed for people who can, is ridiculous.
Part of the ableist shaming pushing people to forego mobility aids is that it makes you „look disabled“. Which just means: people stare at you wherever you go, all the time, but often without getting out of your way. Most abled people who use a wheelchair for any reason immediately feel intensely uncomfortable with how much walking people stare at them, and often pointedly at their legs, and abandon the use of the wheelchair as soon as they can. Because there literally is no upside to „faking“ or „exaggerating“ a disability. All the „special treatment“ people like the screenshotted asshole above assume is being doled out to people with mobility aids literally does not exist.
YES, you said it. Thank you for adding. Can I include your addition when I share this post to IG?
I hope it’s okay for me to add on? I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user and this post really resonated. Abled people have such weird ideas about wheelchairs and wheelchair users. If I stand up from my chair in public to stretch people literally gasp and point. I don’t understand why it seems so difficult for able bodied people to grasp the idea of an ambulatory wheelchair user. They seem to hold up standing and walking on this pedestal as the goal for everyone. I really think there should be more lessons about disabilities taught in school. The only thing standing between an able bodied person and disability is time.
@iwrotesomeofitdown THANK YOU OMG
(TW for weight/body image talk)
Y’all before I got my wheelchair I had zero muscle mass. If I flexed my arm the only bump’d be my bone/tendon. I had so little trunk strength. I was weak as hell an it showed mentally an physically.
I’ve been usin my wheelchair everyday save for a few rollator/cane adventures for nearly two years now an the change is insane. I am the strongest I’ve been in YEARS. When you use a wheelchair, you are luggin your dead weight an the chair over terrain that is very, very rarely 100% wheelchair friendly. You have to roll straight on tilted sidewalks, bumpy roads, switch from flat to wheelies, you gotta push hard, come to quick stops/turns, it’s a lot. It’s a workout.
I’m by no means ripped but tween the constant bicep/core/back workouts as well as the increased hunger that comes with it, I’ve deadass gotten healthier. The belly button down still sucks ass but y’all it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in regards to my health ever.
Abled folk who see wheelchairs as a weakness are fuckin ridiculous. It’s a medical device. It you break your wrist you wear a cast. If you don have enough iron you take supplements. If you have conditions that make usin your lower body difficult/dangerous then you use mobility aids. It takes robustness to get through it all. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.
@newhologram sure, i’m ok with that.
Wheeling a wheelchair causes immense strain on arms, shoulders, hands, and trunk muscles, even if the wheelchair has an electric boost to reduce the arm strength necessary for propulsion (which isn’t available to a lot of people). Full-time wheelchair users often experience massively increased wear on these joints, their spine and pelvis, inflammation of tendons and muscles from repetitive stress, etc., even in a short period of time. The human body is not “infinitely adaptable”, our upper bodies are not designed to support our entire body weight (as people with crutches also experience pain, arthritis of shoulder joints, often nerve damage in the armpits, and spinal problems) or to be used to propel us forward day in and day out. My point being: a wheelchair can be an incredible help in achieving greater mobility, but it is not a “lazy choice” and certainly not easier than walking is for abled people.
Yea I definitely deal with the strain of bein a full time wheelchair user. It’s fucked how motorized chairs are so expensive when many conditions make rollin really hard.
It can absolutely be hell some days. When abled folk say they wish they could jus roll round it’s infuriatin.
Thank you everyone for talking about this with me. Today my friends rented a wheelchair for me and I was so nervous at first. Of course as soon as I posted a video, someone left a rude comment 🤷🏻
