Princess of the Universe

In love with the universe and all that is in it. 50% trash, 50% class. Married to my best friend. 💞

[curseworm]

whenever i see parents walking with their baby andtheyve got their baby between them i get so emotional im not describing it well but like this

i ran out of space for the other one so theyve only got 1.5 parents but its fine

[killer-catchy]

my parents used to do this to me when i was little - they’re both pretty tall, so they could easily swing me between them. my mom told me last week that once, after a pretty hefty snowfall, they were walking somewhere with me swinging me back and forth, as usual. because it was cold out i was wearing gloves, so on a pretty hard forward swing, i slip out of my gloves, flying through the air. i landed in a pile of snow

people saw. my mom still feels bad for laughing

[curseworm]

baby slingshot

[writingsforwinter]

What's your favourite part of your daily routine?

going back to bed

[c3rvida3]

Why don't you identify as a lesbian?

I’m a man and I have sexual and romantic feelings for other men that I actively pursue, and I think I heard somewhere that that’s not very lesbian of me.

[buttfacemcgee]

this is one of the most hilarious things ive ever seen

[thebootydiaries]

me: *overthinks everything and cries*

*5 minutes later*

also me: *sees funny post and laughs* oh okay im back

[lake-shark]

the concept of how sir arthur conan doyle was as a person always sends me into fits. imagine making the most famous literary character of all time but you hate the character so much you try to kill him off. but everyone is so horny for this asshole detective they make you bring him back. even your own mother gets mad when he’s dead because she likes him. raising your prices to ridiculous rates to avoid writing holmes stories backfired and now you’re rich. it’s absolutely a pain because it’s keeping you from your true passion which is spiritualism despite how one of your good friends harry houdini keeps telling you it’s bullshit. you consider your best novels to be historical ones but they’re well over shadowed by the nemesis of your own creation sherlock fucking holmes. some fake photographs from some kids convinced you faeries were real and you wrote a whole book about it. you started writing stories in medical school. and yes, also you are a doctor. after you’re dead, they erect a statue of sherlock holmes across the street from your birthplace, causing you to probably roll over one hundred eighty degrees in your grave and scream into your casket pillow.

[youngwhiteboi]

[determinate]

[everythingfox]

You know when your pet falls asleep on you and you don’t move because you don’t want to wake them? This is what this dog is doing with the cat and I don’t know how much more of this I can handle

[flowerinaflame]

I’m proud of him

[triplehamburgerjack]

He is just fucking great.

[i-am-jayde-deactivated20230705]

Fat pets who are obviously unhealthy:  Bad

Wild animals who are fat because of humans:  Bad

Wild animals who are supposed to be fat:  Good

Wild animals who have gotten super fat because they’re just that good at survival:  Very Good

[pinkbowsandstripedsocks]

[edwardspoonhands]

Honestly, Tvyek is pretty miraculous. It’s permeable to water vapor but not to water, it’s nearly impossible to tear, but can be easily cut. It’s cheap and made entirely without binding chemicals. In addition to being used for wristbands, it’s used to wrap construction sites to keep out water during construction, for tear-resistant envelopes at Fed-Ex, coveralls for mechanics, and my wallet, actually.

Fun tip, though it looks like paper, Tyvek is plastic, and cannot be recycled with paper.

[fairypsychicarchive]

[andromedafalls]

holy fuc

[piisbetterthanpie]

I didn’t even know it had a name

[gucciballs-deactivated20200720]

[belle-ayitian]

2019 Emmys | Black Excellence

[buddhabrand]

a little man without a worry

[not-a-dryl]

Person: It’s only September. Stop with all the Halloween stuff.

Me:

[bpdbroken]

i just hate how impulsively extroverted i get when i’m out in public or around people i want to impress, because the second i’m alone all i can think about is how annoying they probably thought i was or how i dumb i sounded

[dankmemeuniversity]

[lunar-skies]

[blakeisasnorlax]

Sext: you can take a nap while I make you food