This Is Why You're Mean

Just so you know, all of the posts here are related to a “running joke” in our house. The phrase “and that’s mean” or “and you’re mean” usually come at the end of something either completely random, goofball or nonsensical. It helps to know more about the weird dynamic my girlfriend and I partake in while home alone - like twins who create their own language, we have our own set of noises and songs and … well, it gets pretty random.

[thisiswhyyouremean]

This Is Why You're Mean turned 4 today!

[thisiswhyyouremean]

Ahh!  Quit throwing your 'butt cake' at me!

My Wife

[thisiswhyyouremean]

This Is Why You're Mean turned 2 today!

[everybodysgotadarkside97]

Marry someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

My mum (via everybodysgotadarkside97)

[thisiswhyyouremean]

Strangers Passing in the Night

(passing by each other in the kitchen)

Her: Beep beep.

Me: Toot toot.

Her: I said beep beep because you have beeples (beetles) all over your face.

Me: I said toot toot because you have a farty face.

TRUE LOVE

[lonelytreestump-deactivated2018]

My girlfriend sneezed and I accidentally said shut the fuck up instead of saying bless you

[thisiswhyyouremean]

Dessert Meanness

Char: Ugh, I'm stuffed. I can't eat another bite.

*Eats another bite*

Aaron: ...she said as she eats another bite...

Char: I meant AFTER this bite.

Aaron: ...she said as she thinks about taking another bite...

Char: THAT'S MEAN.

(1 minute later)

*Eats another bite*

Char: Shut up...

[thisiswhyyouremean]

His name is Yev Kassem

Char: No soup for you!

Me: What?

Char: I just took the Seinfeld "Which Character Are You" quiz thing going around Facebook and it told me I was the Soup Nazi.

Me: Okay...

Char: Why would it do that?

Me: Probably because you're mean.

Char: I am NOT mean!

Me: Well that quiz seems to think otherwise. It proves that you're mean.

Char: That's mean to say that!

(Five minutes later)

Char: And to top it all off, it gave me Jaime Lannister on the Game of Thrones one!

Me: BECAUSE YOU'RE MEAN!

Char: I'm not mean! You're mean to say that I'm mean!

[thisiswhyyouremean]

Disney Movie Trivia

Me: Have you seen the Disney Robin Hood movie?

Char: Maybe...  is that the one with Tinker Bell?

Me: No.  That's Peter Pan.  Tinker Bell is NOT in Robin Hood.

(twenty minutes later)

Char: Wait, is Robin Hood the one with Captain Hook in it?

Me: No!  That's ALSO Peter Pan!  Why are you getting these so mixed up?

(ten minutes later)

Me: You KNOW I'm going to have to Tumbl your mistakes about Robin Hood and Peter Pan, right?

Char: Why?  That's so mean!

[thisiswhyyouremean]

28 Days

Me: So when is this Wingfest event?

Char: Um... Sunday February 23rd.

Me: Okay, so I'll just have to make sure not to do my volunteer session that Sunday. Wait... It's the 4th Sunday of the month, so I won't have to remember because I always volunteer the first 3 Sundays of the month.

Char: But isn't there only 3 Sundays in February this year?

Me: No, The 23rd, the 16th, the 9th and the 2nd are Sundays. 28 days means four weeks.

Char: Oh, but aren't there some Februaries that only have 3 Sundays?

Me: No. Because it's 28 days. That's four full weeks so always four Sundays.

Char: Hey! Don't be mean to me!

Me: Don't be wrong about the number of Sundays in February!

[thisiswhyyouremean]

This Is Why You're Mean turned 1 today!

Here's to many more years of learning why my wife and I are so freakin' mean!

[ceopet]

Aaron: I have to pee so bad!

Me: *pointing to streetlight post* You have a wiener you can pee right there!

Aaron: No there’s cars it can get hit by a car!

Me: No it’s the side walk!

Aaron: We’re too close to the street it can still get hit by a car!

Me: Ok well why don’t you pee over there?...

[thisiswhyyouremean]

It's true - the drivers in our neighborhood suck.  You could be peeing on the sidewalk and a car'd come outta nowhere and knock your dick off.

But that doesn't make her any less mean for posting this weird conversation...

[thisiswhyyouremean]

Memory Lapse

Me: You know what would go good with these Maxwell Street burgers? Some sushi from Chinese Kitchen!

Char: Ewww, no! Their sushi is gross!

Me: No! Their Mississippi Roll is pretty awesome! Because it's fried!

Char: No, I tried it that one time and I did NOT like it.

Me: ...

Char: ...or maybe I did. I don't remember...

Me: This is SO going on Tumblr.

[thisiswhyyouremean]

You're mean for giving me everything I wanted and asked for! You're the meanest ever!

Me, pretending to be Char. (Based on real events, though.)

[thisiswhyyouremean]

You're mean because you take videos of me snoring in the new recliner and call me "Snorby"!

[thisiswhyyouremean]

Porkchop Argument

Me: maybe get an extra porchplop and we can try the GATEWAY TO THE NORTH on it

Her: why you call it porchplop

Me: Why you call it a portflop?

Her: I didn't

Her: I said porkchop

Her: lol

Me: Why you call it a plorpslop?

Her: wha?

Her: you called it that

Me: I don't think so

Me: That doesn't sound like something I would do/say.

Her: it is something you would say

Me: NOT AT ALL

Her: ALL THE TIMES

Me: I don't say nothing wrong never none of the times!

Her: you say everything weird all the time forever

Me: That is mean.

[thisiswhyyouremean]

STOP MAKING MY THINGS ALL FARTY!!!!

My Fiance