thistles of thorium

[thistlesofthorium]

He's not asleep. We are eternally awake waiting for our turn the the never ending wake of our surprised life. If you were ever to wake up and feel that sun on your face it wouldn't be your or me, it would a perception that only a select few want anything to do with, exactly that is the point to be numb and buzzed with someone you care for and feel for idk shut up Manny suk a diiiick

[thistlesofthorium]

Via rectus

Does an immovable object marry an unstoppable force? Or come a partial obliteration? The human mind asks and answers itself small calculatory questions ever second of everyday but sometimes those questions take center stage and it’s all you can do to quiet them tuck them away until the question is ripe for an answer budding on the dendrites of your own logic gates. Do you dare pluck the fruit of that wrathful tree, and digest whatever sustenance it might afford you? In time you know you either must or let it rot into insanity, into somewhere you can no longer return to. And when you do you wish you hadn’t, finally slipping a peek at that unsurmountable outcome. And it might not feel like you'll ever reach the top of the mountain and when you do, it's as if you were never climbing. You feel tired but ask your self, from what? I've gotten what I wanted, an answer, and some how you know your limbs your face must follow suit. The suit that life has dealt you.

[thistlesofthorium]

Insouciant

Insouciant. Many of us erupt into life gasping for air, to fill our water lungs, with one aim in mind. Survival.  Thrust into the world against our will, under predetermined circumstances, which we might hope to escape from alive. But there is no escaping alive, not from this life or the next. So like fluttering prancing butterflies we flit about looking for anyway to forget our mortality, ironically many of us end up dead, trying not to live, trying to escape the prisons of our flesh. You may call me dejected, but alas, there is some truth to what I want to say. I guess you could say my life has given me such a bleak outlook, yet I still see the light. I do my best to let her in and nurture my garden, my passions. I mean what are without our emotions, our passions? Mindless robot slaves, working for someone far away, so they can sustain their paradise on the backs of millions, billions even, of workers. You can still find the humanity in yourself. I hope we all never forget to be kind to ourselves, to our brothers and sisters and always be open to change, change of our lives, of our minds, of our bodies, for the better, for a better way of life. It is in such a dilemma I find myself in. Is there anything in the world that affords me passion? Aye, a burning desire chases me on, to change the world and act, uplift, and enlighten. In the humane sense, of course, not by means of capital production, or making that which no one needs. We are all children of earth. We spur ourselves on like small children, with tantrum and colic, demanding our desires into our grubby hands, ready to take into the mouth. For what, you ask? Only to ask again for something shinier, tastier, more satisfying than the last. Except there is nothing that will satisfy, nothing that will fill that abyss deep inside we try to soothe with whatever we fancy every day.

           Take for example my place of labor. I make sure that the rich get richer while the poor get poorer, binding the small man with threats of change of life.

“We’re going to send this to a collection agency, ma’am, I don’t know why the hospital referred you to the doctor if they knew that you wouldn’t be covered. Yes, your balance is currently at nine-hundred and fifty six dollars and seventy-eight cents. I can only hold your account for a week until we send it out to collections...” Collecting? Is the executioner collecting the inmates on death row? Something is inherently insidious when you have to sacrifice your health and wellbeing just to get attention for that same health and wellbeing.

“So you can do this only if you feel comfortable, but I know you can do it, call Guillotine Health Management® and ask them if they can get this doctor off the provision that gives him cheaper payments for the patients who can’t afford it. You know Dr. Fourras was pissed when he learned they gave his patient another CAP, and so if you can and feel comfortable go ahead and call provider relations please. If they can’t do that, and this is more of a negotiating thing, if you can get them to increase his CAP payments. Do you think you can do that Lenny?”

“Oh you betcha, boss lady, money-tree, bill-payer, overseer!! You betcha!” you have to reply with a can-do attitude, because some of us just never want to look beyond our horizons and find new things. Then of course comes the passive aggressiveness that your overlord slathers on you because then that’s fear coursing through you the most deadly of all feelings, and you go into survival mode. You develop PTSD to a certain extent. Being another brick in the wall, helping to spur along the matrix is always easiest, the most comfortable thing to do. Until it isn’t.

For the most part the accounts have been easy to manage, and most of the balances owed on patients are payable by the insurances. The total balance for Dr. Denturi is seven thousand, six hundred and forty-nine dollars with three cents. This doctor might not be filthy rich but we all know we want to evade taxes in the most clandestine and shady way possible. So it is safe to assume that this doctor or who ever really gets paid out ridiculous sums of money out every week wants to secure their money from the grubby sausage-fingers of the U.S. Government. But of course, the U.S. Government is one of the most shady and clandestine organizations in the history of humankind. And so she takes it out of her Wells Fargo account and deposits it into an offshore account. Any offshore island will do, some tropical islands’ economies are kept afloat by these “undisclosed transactions,” which without the people would not be able to subsist, no matter any amount of tourism. Dr. Denturi is proud of himself for tricking the U.S. Government, I mean I wouldn’t want my hard earned DOLLARS spent on, God forbid, lazy homeless drug addicts, welfare queens, illegal aliens and their anchor babies, orphan children, the poor who can’t afford health care, multi-million dollar weapons contracts, mass genocide half the world over, illicit resource extraction in sovereign states, huge oil industry subsidies whose goal is only to line their pockets with more green, to buy their new decadent villa in Positano, to damage the climate of the planet as part of one of the biggest anti-life agendas ever. To pay for the useless, so-called pain medication and drugs that leaves millions dependent and robbed of their freedom for life. If you don’t want to pay taxes, fine by me, go live on an island far out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Even then, the world will pass you by in the form of plastic trash, coke bottles, monster cans and huge fishnets choked with dead sealife.

[thistlesofthorium]

You think I'm just a Handsome face? Someone you can carry around as a lapdog showing off to the world? I'm more than just a pair of pretty eyes, high-set cheekbones, luscious lips and sharp mahogany eyes. Do you know where I come from? My ancestors discovered the concept of zero, build great stone geometry to satiate our wrathful gods, we studied and revered the stars, grand masters of agriculture, so much so that our culture never knew poverty or ignorance. My people through the rise and fall of empires decadent and magnanimous, and ever too compassionate for their own greatness. This and the conquest of a continent, world, rises everyday in my blood, closer once again to building my own pyramids in my time, standing testament to the fierceness with which my people wrench our realities from the creators hands. Do you know where I am going? I will be a rebel, always, as never was before and never to come again, to wholly change that cesspool of society we call civilization. My people were ever more civilized than yours dares imagine. Do not just look at my features separated by tens of thousands of years of evolutions, only to meet again in the span of a colibri's shutter of wings. I entreat you, listen to me, feel me, make me scowl, yell and frustrate me, give unto me your adoration and investigations; for to merely glance upon me is like giving a thirsty desert beggar a drop of water and walking away, gloating, that I and not you possess that sweet nectar of life. Do not envision me as you do, only gaze upon my nature for any other perception would be as untrue as the old mythologies were to the real nature of the world. Handsome? Pretty? Hot? Such petty words for the first wonder of the world, would you describe Sol as hot? The moon lovely? Nay, there have been entire cultures that revolved around such natural wonders such as myself. It would do your life some good to know and revere rather than to be foolish and see.