[thistownhasgotliestotell]

Even at the age of 26 pregnancy really makes me realize who my true friends are and just like at 21 it seems the only person I can rely on is my husband...y'all girls just suck.

[nescafes]

my entire life is me dropping things and whispering ‘fuck’

[reasonandfaithinharmony]

Mood.

[creamfights]

The Wonder Years - Out On My Feet

[creamfights]

The Wonder Years - Out On My Feet

[knowwhatimeme]

[ansonmount]

SOUL (2020)

[dsu2014]

most men are just bald with hair

period

[llovinghome]

[r0kita]

what if we kissed on the broom (and we’re both cats)

[madgastronomer]

They were broom-mates?

[bixbythemartian]

Oh my god, they were broom-mates

[democraticsenator]

Looking for a weighted blanket and this review sold me

[keplercryptids]

i think what people who have grown up in a carceral system like the US fail to understand is that a ten-year prison sentence is a HARSH sentence. it’s a life destroying sentence. seriously, think about the past decade of your life. think about all the relationships you’ve forged, all the places you’ve lived, all the jobs you’ve had or degrees you’ve earned, all the births and weddings and funerals and growth. now imagine instead you spent that decade in a cage. replace all those experiences with the trauma of what people experience in prison.

ten years is time enough to miss your kid’s whole childhood, to whittle away at every relationship and connection you have outside prison. i think we’re so used to seeing 25-to-life sentences being handed down for even non violent crimes that we don’t really think of the actual sentencing process this way. anything less than a LIFE sentence means someone “got off too easily.” and i wonder what would change with our system if we changed how we viewed that.

[veerletakino]

Also you basically lose every connection you have and the stigma will *haunt* you the rest of your life. Like even McDonald’s asks about “criminal history”

[unclefather]

[theglasscat]

this image is probably the most accurate visual representation of the United States education system

[iyimibole]

[themasterpupil]

There’s a glitch in the matrix

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

anyone else have one of those Formative Omegle Experiences that’s stuck with you

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

i remember once matching up with this 27 year old mechanic. he found the omegle page open on one the shop’s computers, and he wanted to see what his coworker was up to. we matched up because of our listed “manga” interests.

he asked how old i was, and i lied and said i was 16. as a conversation starter, he asked if i had my license yet, and because i was 12, i said no.

so he starts giving me driving tips. get a junker as your first, because when you finally get a new car, you’ll be able to appreciate it.

stick shift is going out of fashion, and even if you learn how to drive that way and enjoy it, get an automatic. it’ll save your ass on nasty hills and in rush hour traffic.

and most importantly, never hold your hands at 10 and 2. go with 9 and 3. he’d always loved cars, and used to race when he was younger. became pretty well known in the indie circles. one day, he was speeding around the track and just came out of the curve when a girl in the crowd flashed her tits at him.

he was so distracted that he crashed straight into the barrier. due to how he was holding the wheel, he broke both of his arms. he still has a couple lingering issues.

i asked him if it was worth it, and he said yes. he’d do it again if he had the chance. they were the finest tiddies he’d ever seen.

the moral of this story is that, to this day, i grip 9 and 3 when using both hands because wait that’s what tiddy guy said i should do.

[stimman4000]

went on the most insane grindr date of my life last night hold on

[stimman4000]

>be me

>guy whose profile says he’s 22 hits me up

>bio says he’s looking for a dude to make out with on a helicopter

>little weird but ok

>like 2 messages into the conversation he brings up the fact that he’s super rich

>must think i was born yesterday

>clearly a human and not a bot tho

>bored so i keep talking to him

>adds me on snap

>decent snap score

>story basically just rich guy flexing

>still probably fake

>asks me to come to his hotel

>really swanky one that i’ve heard of, obv never stayed there

>says he’ll call me an uber

>10% chance he’s legit

>90% chance i’m getting murdered

>win win so i decide to go

>get there, knock on door

>dude in pictures opens it

>absolutely shocked

>immediate lights a joint in the room without opening a window

>”i’ll just pay the cleaning fee it’s whatever”

>starts telling me about different plastic surgery techniques and all the ones he plans on getting

>not insecure, just thinks they rule

>there’s a stack of cash on the desk that’s more money than i’ve seen in one place before

>like 5k just sitting there

>we talk a little, eventually ask him why the fuck hes so rich

>this whole time he’s watching videos of plastic surgery being performed

>tells me he invested some money his parents gave him in hs and got lucky

>no job, owns a nice apt

>pretty much all he does is have sex with guys

>tells me he literally flew here to fuck a dude

>”haha check out how they’re sanding down this bone”

>offers to pay for laser treatment for my scars

>say no because there’s no way i can say yes

>kinda like them anyways

>have sex

>he orders a fuckton of food from an italian place

>”idk why i got all this i’m lactose intolerant”

>tells me at length abt how iceberg lettuce shouldn’t exist

>eats a plate of mozzarella sticks and falls asleep

>like meeting a modern day dorian grey

[whitepeopletwitter]

[arssolum]

i entered the friendzone but all I found were enemies