when men roll up their sleeves and show their slutty little forearms i wither away like a Victorian man seeing ankles for the first time
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Not today Justin

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i don't do bad sauce passes

#extradirty

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@thoroughlycharming
when men roll up their sleeves and show their slutty little forearms i wither away like a Victorian man seeing ankles for the first time
"don't celebrate mitch mcconnell's health problems!!!" you are weak and pathetic. i'm having a blast. i'm inviting bella hadid.
Pretty much everyone said this would happen. One ticked off parent can throw a tantrum and get any girl investigated because their kid didn’t win. Gross.
GET YOURS HERE WITH FREE WORLDWIDE SHIPPING
thinking abt how fucked up steam engine boiler explosions can look. theyre just pipes under there
gives me the idea of a ghost/monster engine that looks normal, albeit a bit battered, only to swing their smokebox door open and a myriad of pipes come bursting out like fucked up tentacles
I didn’t know a train could be an eldritch horror, but here we are.
*says a fact in a conversation and a wikipedia citation appears next to my head*
*clicks the citation*
*text pops up saying “this is not true. He saw this in a youtube video once in 2014 and took it as fact”. the words “youtube video” are underlined and in blue”
*clicks on the link*
love that every starfleet ship has like 5000 people but there are only 7 we see & those 7 do everything
the enterprise at 100%: a whole shit ton of people
the enterprise at 99%: just these seven
Captain: our chief engineer has been abducted! How will we repair our ship to working order now?!
500+ engineers who are trained and qualified to handle this exact situation:
star trek heritage post (March 2nd, 2020)
be fucking pink and red with me for a minute
before: GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCK PIECE OF SHIT
after: hello mommy 🥺 could you pretty please help me with this 🥺 it’s me your baby boy
istill think temptress is the funniest word its my favourite like. youre tempting me and being suchhh a girl about it wtf =_=
Men! Get your ears pierced! That’s an order
Men! Don’t get it done at Claire’s or anywhere that uses a piercing gun! Go to a professional tattoo and piercing parlor! That’s an order!
Y'all're free to get your ears pierced if you like, but I have long maintained the secret to a long life is to avoid having pieces of steel driven through your body.
You are absolutely incorrect. The secret to a long life is being penetrated as many times as possible
Julius Cesar disagrees
He’s just built different
Phineas Gage is that u
Hang on I have to look something up
Yeah this is funny
i'm no medical expert but my one and only health tip i can offer with any confidence is to allow yourself to listen to bohemian rhapsody every once in a while in a setting where you can put your your whole entire life up to this moment into singing along with the part where freddie mercury says "i don't wanna die, but sometimes i wish i'd never been born at all" and feel a layer of dead scar tissue peel away from your existence before it can calcify
Best comeback line ever.
"We've decied to go with another candidate" No you did not, you got denied right from the outset and want to feel like you're still in control