unspoken thoughts

she/her • creative writing for me to express thoughts I do not wish to say to anyone

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

marguerite here.

below are words put together in the form of creative writing to express my thoughts and for all of you to possibly enjoy and find meaning in it. nothing much. just brain dump.

@unicafavorita is my main blog

[unicafavorita]

I had this neighbor since I was eight years old who always played the piano every single day. I, on the other hand, always played the violin. One day, I decided to practice River Flows In You by Yiruma for my music recital. Then I suddenly heard my neighbor play the piano. I was pissed at first cause I thought, "Oh, great. It'll be hard to practice without having to hear him play his songs. It's so rude." But then I realized he was trying to duet with me. I play the violin while he plays the piano. After that day, when one of us play songs we know, one of us will always join in.

It was an experience that felt like it was straight out of a movie. But it was back when I was 9. I'm now 17 and he moved houses 2 years ago.

We never knew each other's names because we never talked. I've always admired his talent but only from afar. I will always regret not asking for his name.

[unicafavorita]

I had this neighbor since I was eight years old who always played the piano every single day. I, on the other hand, always played the violin. One day, I decided to practice River Flows In You by Yiruma for my music recital. Then I suddenly heard my neighbor play the piano. I was pissed at first cause I thought, "Oh, great. It'll be hard to practice without having to hear him play his songs. It's so rude." But then I realized he was trying to duet with me. I play the violin while he plays the piano. After that day, when one of us play songs we know, one of us will always join in.

It was an experience that felt like it was straight out of a movie. But it was back when I was 9. I'm now 17 and he moved houses 2 years ago.

We never knew each other's names because we never talked. I've always admired his talent but only from afar. I will always regret not asking for his name.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

i almost died because of love

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

one reason a bear might kill me is because it sees me as a human being. one reason a man might kill me is because he sees me as an object. id rather die knowing that what killed me recognized me for what i truly am-

human.

[unicafavorita]

I had this neighbor since I was eight years old who always played the piano every single day. I, on the other hand, always played the violin. One day, I decided to practice River Flows In You by Yiruma for my music recital. Then I suddenly heard my neighbor play the piano. I was pissed at first cause I thought, "Oh, great. It'll be hard to practice without having to hear him play his songs. It's so rude." But then I realized he was trying to duet with me. I play the violin while he plays the piano. After that day, when one of us play songs we know, one of us will always join in.

It was an experience that felt like it was straight out of a movie. But it was back when I was 9. I'm now 17 and he moved houses 2 years ago.

We never knew each other's names because we never talked. I've always admired his talent but only from afar. I will always regret not asking for his name.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

I think we deserve to have one last chapter in each other's lives for us to decide if we want to have more or stop here completely.

Just one. Please.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

We did. And now we stopped talking. Again.

Literally 1 last chapter. And now im happy i got the closure i wished for months ago.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

my suffering isn't beautiful

but my survival is.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

I never related to Meg March when she said, "Just because my dreams are different than yours doesn't mean they're unimportant," until my dreams started not matching up with anyone I've met in my life.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

Sometimes writing helps when I'm having an existential crisis. I placed my thoughts down and it helped. Hopefully this helps you too.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

"You are the one person who knows yourself the best," they say. I respectfully disagree. As a human, I have limited amount of knowledge. I am not gifted with the ability to think the way that gods do. I only know what I have experienced, what I have concluded, and what I have learned. Yet, as fragile as my human brain is, I know that we are composed of memories. I am the sum of the memories I make with those I interact with. Some memories are crisp and filled with flavor, like a juicy apple for those I communicate with regularly.

To those I have lost contact with, recollections of me may be gathering dust in the corners of their brain. Perhaps they dust it off occasionally, blowing and wiping off the grime, like a long-lost book when someone mentions my name.

My intellect is delicate compared to the powers that be. However, my mental capacity, like my physical capacity, is finite. Because my intellect and body are limited, my senses can deceive me and convince me of things I am not. My own and others' perceptions of me can provide answers to the question of who I am. I am everything for some and nothing for others, yet I most definitely exist. To reflect on our existence, we must first know ourselves.

Nosce te ipsum.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

While I doubt the purpose of my existence,

my breathing, and the tension between my furrowed brows as I type, is evidence that I exist.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

I am a mosaic of every important person I have encountered in my life. I am a sum of fragments. I am the child of recollections and influences that other people have left with me. I am a footprint created by a multitude of choices made by those who came before me. Yet while I carry their genetics, it is I who builds on my soul.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

I think we deserve to have one last chapter in each other's lives for us to decide if we want to have more or stop here completely.

Just one. Please.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

I'm trying to keep my heart open despite how hurt I am but it's just so so hard. Being a lover girl, choosing to love no matter what, not holding grudges, giving people countless chances- god, it is so tiring. But at the same time I don't have it in me to hold anger. I'm so conflicted.

[thoughtfulmarguerite]

Apathy? The belief that the less I care, the better?

No, thank you.

I love vulnerability. I love to care. I love to be open. I love to wear my heart on my sleeves. I love to love. I may have been hurt because I'm too open about my sentiments yet I'm proud that I'm still soft despite the rough patches I've gone through. I am and forever will be a lover girl.