The Trump administration as classic mystery books.

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

tannertan36
$LAYYYTER
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
DEAR READER
almost home

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NASA
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Sweet Seals For You, Always

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Not today Justin

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@thursdays
The Trump administration as classic mystery books.
There was a cow on the loose in St. Louis today.
do you ever get so annoyed at everything that you start to get pissed off at even little things like a spoon clinking against a bowl or sounds of people talking
I think it’s called sensory overload. It’s really common in people with anxiety
it can also be a result of sleep deprivation, stress, or ever dehydration !!
thanks i thought i was just a bitch
Wow it’s almost like most of human history has been about controlling women… or something…
my response to “you should see a doctor” 98% of the time is just “haha yeah probably” followed by me not seeing a doctor
Watch: President Obama delivers pointedly feminist speech at United State of Women summit
This man is my hero
!!!!!!!!
I love him so much. I can’t believe he has to turn the White House over to someone who is his opposite in every way.
I’m here for all the Biden jokes… Via Mollie Goodfellow / @hansmollman on Twitter.
All things considered.. I guess I’m ready. For what? For the rest of it.
ok here we go pet peeve no. 45678: when girls are made fun of for behaviour that has literally been drilled into them by society. let’s go through some of these.
haha girls are all like “don’t look at me without makeup on!!!!”: maybe because we are taught from a very young age that we’re ugly without makeup. if we don’t wear it we’re asked why we look so tired, why we didn’t make an effort today, why we seem slobbish. as we grow older if we don’t wear makeup we’re seen as unprofessional and it can actually affect our careers but no yeah it definitely doesn’t make sense that we’re insecure about our naked faces whatever
man my gf always takes food from my plate so annoying lol #relatablecontent: probably because she’s fucking starving but it was instilled in her that cute girls eat like precious baby bunnies so she got a salad but all she fuCKING WANTS ARE FRIES. JUST GIVE HER THE FUCKING FRIES.
girls always go to the bathroom together haha lame and weird: mainly so we don’t get attacked asshole. also having a pee buddy is fun i pity you and your pee-buddy-less experience. when do your friends tell you how nice your hair is. oh that’s right they don’t because guys are the fucking worst
look at these drunk girls tottering around on high heels they look ridiculous: i will defend to the death women’s right to get just as completely shitfaced as men and don’t even ACT like it’s not practically fucking mandated that if a woman isn’t wearing high heels she isn’t dressed up. high heels LITERALLY GIVE ME BACK PROBLEMS but i have to wear them for work because if I don’t i’m not “””””professionally dressed”””””” give me a fucking break
WOMAN AND SHOPPING. OHOHOHO BOY.: yeah ok so we have to spend money you don’t on makeup products, skin products, hair removal products, pads and tampons, and on top of that we’re expected to change our clothes more often than you which means we need more of them, and also women’s clothing sizes are voodoo so every fitting session is a battle with your self confidence. AND we pay the gender tax. i fucking hate shopping. i do it because i have to, you buttnerd. and even if some women enjoy shopping im sure some men also enjoy shopping??? why must you gender??? activities??? why is this the world we live in????
girls on their periods are fucking psycho hahaha!!!: no we’re just in more or less constant pain so we have less patience to put up with your your bullshit. not to mention that a woman’s testosterone levels actually INCREASE on her period so GUESS WHO WE’RE MORE FUCKING LIKE, CHAD. GIVE A FUCKING GUESS.
lol girls spend forever in the bathroom lololol: all right first of all if we’re talking about say, a sporting event, and you’re complaining about all the women who are queueing to go to the bathroom, we have a COUPLE MORE STEPS INVOLVED THAN PEOPLE WHO CAN JUST WHIP IT OUT AND THEN TUCK IT AWAY. not to mention the fact that yeah we have to take a second to double check the paint smeared on our faces or the socially acceptable hairstyle we’re wearing. we’re not allowed have fucking buzzcuts chad. apparently having less than the requisite amount of dead protein on the top of our head makes us a target for verbal abuse on the street chad. how about ranting about the people who built the stadium or whatever who KNOW it takes women longer to go to the bathroom but normally lot the same amount of stalls to men and women?? AND IF WE’RE TALKING ABOUT PERSONAL MAINTENANCE yeah ok buddy and how long does it take you to shave your legs? you think I like spending SEVENTY TWO DAYS OUT OF MY LIFE accidentally cutting myself and pulling muscles in my thighs??? well. i dont. so that’s why i don’t do it mainly. but we probably spend the rest of the time slathering ourselves with anti-aging creams because everyone is falling over themselves to tells us that our sell-by date is 35 while George Clooney and RDJ will probably continue to play wry sexy playboys until their fucking hips fall off. go fuck yourself chad.
GOD. I CAN’T EVEN GO ON. ADD YOUR OWN IF YOU THINK OF MORE.
this post is gold
I hate you Chad
i was not expecting this to get popular at all but i will tell you one joyous thing: over 2,000 notes so far and not one single person has disagreed. WE ALL KNOW ITS BULLSHIT AND THAT IS SOMETHING AT LEAST.
You’re the worst, Chad.
To all the wonderful Bowies.
It wasn’t easy to land on a card that felt worthy of David Bowie. Here are some alternate versions we considered early on:
David Bowie riding in on a cloud of fire flies.
David Bowie materializing in a poof of glitter.
David Bowie sliding into your dreams on an electric rainbow.
I am Toby Ziegler.
Jessica Jones you are a hard drinking, short fused mess of a woman, but you are not a piece of shit.
Luke Cage (Jessica Jones)
Relationship goals.
this is my favorite news segment of all time
her laugh at 2:04 kills me