i don't do bad sauce passes
Cosimo Galluzzi
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Not today Justin
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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occasionally subtle
#extradirty
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@thwick
Welcome
My name is Michael ! or you can call me Thwick!
Here’s a few rules to note for this blog.
Read my carrd !
This blog is strictly 18+, meaning Minors do not interact.
I reblog other peoples fanfics, fanart and shit posts I enjoy on here.
This blog is literally a fken mess, seriously.
This blog is LGBTQ+ friendly.
This blog is also dd/lg (and anything adjacent) safe
Hate of any kind is not tolerated on this blog.
Tags I use: Uhhh lots? But the biggies I use are TW’s and CW’s
↪ sway crashes connor's postgame interview | postgame raw: usa vs. can | milano cortina 2026 | 2.22.26
first star and he doesn't even need the helmet pens @ flames | 1.21.26
A squirmy sensitive boy who's desperate to please.... oh I bet Geno is so in love
geno:
The home office is definitely preferred. 🏡
yippeeeeeee
sidney crosby is your hockey blorbo’s hockey blorbo
coach geno [x]
I'm just gonna answer hockey questions today. [x]
I need there to be more GenOvi fic. and while I finish mine, I would also like to share a ship thesis that came from an academic dialogue with @mactheknifes , in the hope that more people will be compelled by their dynamic.
the core of Geno and Ovi's dynamic (in minecraft) is I Knew You When You Were Young Repression. there is always an elephant in the room between them, whether its something that happened, something that never happened, Russia, the cups, Sid. there's always a third thing in the room with them. and it should be the thing that leads to Ovi punching Geno's agent.
Geno and Ovi are (now) good friends. they sing karaoke together. they go to each other's elaborate birthday parties. they do things with the NHL Russian gang. but importantly, they're not bros. they know things about each other that no one else in the Russian crew does, but they're not bros. they're something else.
they were both boys who grew up in Perestroika, living and breathing hockey, and they quickly became superstars. they bear the cross of Russian Sports, a place they no longer live in and can never return to, because the Russia that was promised no longer exists.
they have lived through an extremely pivotal moment in Russia history and Russian sports. they grew up in a Russia that was freshly open to the West, and twenty years later, it's closing. like, you were promised to have the world open to you if you were good enough at hockey, and now you have a smartphone and a mansion and kids and Russia is banned from international sports. and no one else but each other understands. other Russian superstars were born at the wrong time; their other hockey friends weren't superstars; their superstar friends aren't Russian.
Geno and Ovi are the only two of their kind. and they have achieved many of their wildest dreams, but they can't look at each other too closely.
Geno and Ovi also have something that the other can't have. Ovi couldn't win the cup for a long time. Ovi didn't have Sid to ease the burden. Geno doesn't have a picture-perfect family. Geno isn't number one, and is so often underestimated.
their personalities are very different, but they look at each other and see someone who was there the whole time, someone who understands, someone who reminds you of a world that no longer exists, and all the impossible odds that you beat to get where you are now.
[vibrating at the speed of light] L E G S
(sorry tumblr won’t let me link to either of these for some reason. first is from potash the other is wes crosby.)
baby that body of yours is absurd
wallpapers • patrice bergeron + floral
Requested by anon
Credits of the wallpapers’ elements and style go to their respective owners. I only assembled them to make the wallpapers.
like & reblog if you use
Hi! I would love to see a photographic retrospective of all your favourite pics of Ovi’s arse. I, too, think its raw power and beauty is underrated, and I have complete faith that you have awe-inspiring photos of it I’ve never seen before, but need to. Thank you! ❤️💙
Oh anon. I’m not sure I can do this request justice. Maybe I can dig up a few pictures, just a couple of select favorites, and post about them in a tasteful manner HAHAHAHAHA HAD YOU GOING THERE DIDN’T I BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP AND LET’S LOOK AT SOME ASS AND YELL ABOUT IT.
A thoughtful and articulate person would put these under a cut and not make sure a long-ass (hee) post, but I think I have established by now I am not that kind of person. So. Longish post ahead! With butts. Not really NSFW but full of the inherent danger that any picture post featuring Alex “NO TIME FOR CLOTHES” Ovechkin brings to the table, where someone glancing over your shoulder at work might do a double take.
So. Ovi’s ass! Arse if you’re *squints* British? Australian? Whichever it may be. Much like his passing skills, Alex Ovechkin’s ass is seriously underrated, and I have a theory as to why. But first, let’s get acquainted with a classic pic:
Look at that thing. It’s glorious. It’s utterly delightful. ENHANCE.
Pure artwork. Here it is facing the other side. Those white spandex leggings are doing everything they can to contain it, and only just barely succeeding.
Anyway, the reason I think the Ovechkin ass is underrated is that people simply get distracted by the fact that Ovi tends to wander around in– uh, how do we say this diplomatically– really fucking bizarre pants, OR, he just leaves off clothes altogether. They get so caught up in whatever sweatjean nonsense or Ovechkin front-junk is going on, that the ass is somehow overlooked. Which is a shame.
Because, like. It’s right there! RIGHT IN PLAIN VIEW.
Though, not always. Sometimes it plays coy, and must be coaxed into view. This is usually prelude to some other scheme. (I like how Mike Green doesn’t even pretend not to look, at either the top or below pictures. He’s seen it before. He’s gonna see it again. Nicky is like, it’s right behind me, isn’t it? And Greenie’s like, yeah bro, it is.)
In fact, the Ovechkin ass is capable of taking on certain coloration patterns as a mating display ritual, usually with the goal of gaining a specific teammate’s attention. Here we see a magnificent display, with the blue and yellow colors most likely indicating that he’s presenting with the hopes of catching the eye of a Swede. (Note how he’s managed to also intrigue a fellow Russian.)
Color patterns are only half the story. The Ovechkin ass will also undergo several feats of athletic prowess in order to more fully display its wide range of capabilities and talents.
These presentation feats may start out simple but quickly escalate to even more daring displays.
Sometimes there’s even head bobbing and singing involved.
And tramp stamps. Oh yes, when all else fails, there are tramp stamps.
SUCCESS. His target (preemptively sensing the camera and mostly hiding in this picture) has given in and placed a Proprietary Hand to mark its territory.
Such is the power of the Ovechkin ass that is is strong enough to attract attention from even the fiercest, most opposite of enemies, to the point where these enemies might even become teammates and friends later.
The Ovechkin ass is well known for its capabilities of breaking the speed of light as well:
It is impervious to colder temperatures that other asses would quail at, and gleefully exposes itself all the more:
I think we’re gonna need to zoom in.
That’s the stuff. Undergoing regular exercise and grooming rituals keeps it in peak condition.
WHOOPS HOW DID THAT LAST ONE GET IN THERE.
In conclusion, Alex Ovechkin is, in the language of the young people today, thicc, and you should let yourself be seduced by that. It’s what he’s going to try to do to you anyway:
I hope you enjoyed that, Anon.
Has someone made the full timeline from undercooked to fully baked? I’d like to get an exact time period when I go from saying oh he’s cute to oh my god he’s hot. I know the transition happened but the question is when........
thank you to @idontlikeem for the assist on this
“Hey, they still call you The Kid? Aren’t you old for that?” “Anyone ever tell you to respect your elders?” “Not bad. How about we take it outside though?” “Oh yeah, just tell me when and where.”
the nhl said: no soap operas, only gay porno
also, same vibes:
max as cats 2
a little cowboy daniel for the amazing @cvrthage ❤️ happy birthday!
