Bill and Ted movies (except 3. Which was absolute shit and I was utterly disappointed. It was basically Bill and Ted genderswapped)
No blank, ageless, or under 18 blogs. MINORS DNI.
Request limit of 5 at a time. First come, first serve (the oldest five I have in my inbox will be first served, the rest will be deleted. I will keep track of who is requesting how often and if I get multiple requests from the same person, then new requesters will take priority so that everyone gets a fair chance.
Be respectful of me and fellow content creators.
Requests/commissions are not life-or-death situations. We all have lives outside of Tumblr and fandoms, and sometimes shit happens. If I get death threats, I WILL report and block.
NSFW okay, depending on the request. I reserved the right to refuse.
OKAY WITH: CharacterxReader (any gender), CharacterxCharacter, darker themes. MENTION/IMPLIED SITUATIONS OKAY, AS LONG AS THEY DON'T GO INTO DETAIL.
MAYBE: Stepsibling to lovers relationships.
ABSOLUTELY NO: Rape, pedophilia, emetophilia (sexual pleasure involving puke), somnophilia (sex while a person is sleeping), incest, or anything else I come across that I'm not comfortable with.
NO ACTORXACTOR OR ACTORXREADER. I find it really weird and scroll past it when I see it on my dash. It's gross.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME: I do enjoy writing a little bit on the psychotic side, so please send requests about having/dealing with a S/O who has a mental illness and I will research them!
MK9/MK11 Kabal intros when Y/N is Stryker's little sister.
CW: mentions of child abuse, swearing, disrespectful towards dead brother.
A/N: During the MK11 past timeline(MK9) Y/N is still a child. The dialogue is between the burnt Kabal and adult Y/N.
Kabal: Y/N? What happened to you?
Y/N: Life.
Kabal: Damn...
***
Kabal: This isn't what Kurtis wanted for you, Y/N.
Y/N: Well, look where the goody two shoes life got him.
Kabal: Don't you dare disrespect your brother's memory!
***
Y/N: So my brother dies, and you go back to your old ways?
Kabal: Which would you rather be? The pot or the kettle?
Y/N: You cheeky little bitch.
***
Y/N: What was my brother like? I was only a little girl the last time I saw him.
Kabal: An honorable man. He got me on the straight and narrow for a little bit.
Y/N: Thank you, Kabal.
***
Kabal: Hey, how about a date, cutie?
Y/N: Like the ones you and Kurtis took me on to the carnival when I was five?
Kabal: This time, I want to win you more than a giant stuffed teddy bear.
***
Kabal: You want to know why I went back to the Black Dragon?
Y/N: I think I have an idea.
Kabal: Too many memories, kiddo.
***
Y/N: Why didn't you try to see me after Kurtis died?
Kabal: I didn't know what to say, kiddo. I still don't...
Y/N: It would have saved me a lot of heartbreak.
***
Y/N: I see you wear my brother's police badge on you. Any chance I can get it back?
Kabal: No way, kiddo.
Y/N: Aw come on, pretty please with sugar on top?
***
Kabal: How are your folks doing?
Y/N: Dead. I killed them. They weren't kind to me after their golden boy died.
Kabal: Shit, if I'd known, I would have been there for you.
***
Kabal: If I knew what those bastards were doing to you, I would have killed them myself!
Y/N: You were too busy wallowing in self pity to anything useful.
Kabal: And I beat myself up everyday over it!
***
Y/N: Did Kano leave you on the barbie too long?
Kabal: More like getting burned alive while trying to serve and protect.
Y/N: Better make my order extra crispy, then.
***
Y/N: So, got any girlfriends, Kabal?
Kabal: You interested?
Y/N: Nah, my cats are the only ones who see my soft side.
***
Kabal: What made you want to join the Black Dragon?
Y/N: Dunno, chasing ghosts, maybe?
Kabal: I ain't afraid of no ghost, kiddo.
***
Kabal: No hard feelings, right kiddo?
Y/N: About what? Abandoning me to my parents cruelty?
Kabal: I see they're still raw...
***
Kabal ending, since his family with Sareena makes no sense: After gaining control of the hourglass, Kabal went back in time to try and save Stryker. No matter how many times he remade history, his mentor always ended up dying. He resigned himself and moved his efforts to supporting Y/N so she could avoid the dark path. She's now thriving with a family of her own, a normal school teacher who is beloved by all.
Y/N's ending: With the hour glass at hand, she knew she had the world at her fingertips. She tried to save her brother, but his fate was set in stone. She looked over the timelines and noticed that Kabal's burning wasn't present in every line. She decided that he'd suffered enough and completely prevented the injuries. Her younger self reached out to him, asking him to take her away from that place. He came and demolished the house, training you to be the best assassin in the Black Dragon
Summary: After getting back from Egypt, Jotaro seeks solace in you.
CW: Sex, reader AFAB, P in V, oral, dirty talk
Tags: @adeadcreator
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
You were classmates with Jotaro throughout school, strangely the one female who didn't swoon over him. You were polite and cordial with him, and he didn't call you a bitch. You came from the orphanage, and the other students bullied you about it to no end. He always showed up to put a stop to it, usually ended up at the principal's office for disciplinary action.
In your final year, he seemed even more distant than usual. When you did see him, you could see what appeared to be a muscular ghost that prevented any physical harm from happening to him. You had your own ghost, who called herself "Mind Reader", who gave you the ability to read minds. You used this during tests to look for the answers in the teachers' minds. However, very few people who had these ghosts you couldn't read.
Mrs. Kujo was always kind to you, always made sure Jotaro had an extra lunch for when yours got stolen. Even with little notes like "you have friends in us! ❤️" You knew he had a slight soft spot for you, from the way he would occasionally pat your head.
When the day came and he called and asked you for a favor, you did it. He said his mom wasn't doing well, and he needed to go to Egypt with his grandfather to get the cure to her ailment. Joseph pulled you aside and explained that the "ghosts" you sometimes saw were called Stands, and yours specifically could not only read minds, but send telepathic messages to people who opened their minds to you. "Imagine a third eye in the middle of your forehead and open it" you did so, and your Stand made a physical appearance: a golden eye with a lapis lazuli iris. "Please keep an eye on Holly, and if anything significant happens, you can contact any of us". You nodded and agreed, wanting to repay them for their kindness.
Keeping your third eye open for 50 days straight while keeping Mrs. Kujo company was exhausting. When she started getting sicker, you sent images to Joseph and Jotaro, them sending you back instructions on what to do to help her. When the evil was defeated, Jotaro sent you a message to rest and let the doctors from the Speedwagon Foundation take over. You closed your third eye and passed out on the closest bed you found.
When they came home a little worse for wear, the doctors explained that you kept your eye open the entire time, and you had been asleep for three days. Jotaro walked into his room and saw you still passed out. "Yare, yare daze" he sighed, gently waking you "hey y/n. Thanks for taking care of Mom" .
"You have been so kind to me, just returned the favor" you stretched your arms around his neck, and pulled him on top of you. "Even without Mind Reader, I can tell you've had a rough time" planting kisses on his neck "I just want to help you relax".
Many times he'd had this fantasy, waking up with messy underwear and shame that he couldn't express his feelings. He was worried that the girls who threw themselves at him would intensify the bullying if they knew he liked you. He was at half mast already, you feeling his erection between your thighs through your pants, you getting wet at his touch. "Let me fuck you, bitch" he growled in your ear, unbuttoning your nightgown and letting it fall to the floor. He lifted you up and threw you on the mattress, letting his pants fall "suck me off" he roughly grabbed your hair and pushed his cock head past your lips.
"Fuck your dick tastes so good" you complimented, kissing and licking the shaft, he grunted in annoyance shoved his whole length down your throat. "Who told you you could talk, bitch?" He made you gag on his cock, saliva dripping onto his sheets before he shoved you back onto the bed "take a minute to breathe..." I don't wanna cum yet... "
You laid on your belly, anticipating the feeling of his length penetrating you. "Hurry JoJo..." He took his shirt off and positioned himself at your pussy lips, teasing you with his tip. "Don't be so mean, JoJo..."
He brought you up to your knees, hissing "You don't give the orders around here, bitch..." You felt him slowly push inside "say it again.." he snapped his hips and the pleasure surged through you. You'd do anything to feel that pleasure again "keep fucking me, JoJo..."
As his thrusting became harder and faster, you began to get louder. He pushed a few fingers in your mouth "shut the fuck up, bitch. You're being too noisy..." You sucked his fingers, your thighs almost giving out under you.
He felt your walls clench around him, and he knew what was about to happen. He pulled out and finished you off with his mouth. He NEEDED to taste your cunt juice before he came. You bit your lip and splashed his face. When you finally came down from your high, he laid down and ordered "ride me until I blow my load in you..." You switched places with him, sliding him inside you with ease. "Good girl" he praised, his hands fondling your tits. "Move" he commanded.
You obeyed, the bed creaking in time with your movement. He rolled his hips, his head falling back on the pillow "Shit, your pussy feels so good..." His thumb traveled to your clit and rubbed in circular motion. "I know you can fuck me better than that..."
You nodded, moving faster, leaning forward so you could kiss him while impaling yourself on his staff. "That's it, now you're getting into it!" He slapped your ass, earning a yelp of pain. You forcefully pinned his arms down and said "Call me a bitch and order me around, but don't you DARE hit me" in a low dangerous tone. You'd been hit all your childhood, and you'd be damned if you let anyone touch you like that again.
Jotaro was caught off guard, him not expecting you to be so strong. "Okay, sorry Babe..." He had to admit he was turned on, and was about to blow, but held it back. At this moment, you were too beautiful to get dirty with his filthy semen.
You smiled down at him, glad you were on the same page and continued the faster pace. He couldn't help but notice your rock hard nipples, so he pinched them, pulling on them. "Oh fuck, I'm cumming JoJo!"
He couldn't hold back anymore "Me too!" He held your hips, exploding deep inside you. You both shivered with aftershocks, overstimulated and satisfied. You lifted up off his limp dick, his seed dripping down your legs.
After a moment, he reached over and opened the window and lit a cigarette. He cuddled with you on his safe side, and passed the cigarette so you could take a hit. "I missed you, JoJo..." you said, nuzzling into the nape of his neck.
"I missed you too, y/n" he turned to look at you, genuine gratitude on his face "you helped save my Mom. I can't ever repay you for that" you smiled at him and said "there'll be plenty of time for that. Right now, you need sleep" you kissed his forehead, and soon you were both sound asleep.
Summary: You and Speedwagon reach a mutual agreement.
A/N: A "lavender marriage" is where one or both participants are of the LGBT+ community and they marry someone of the opposite gender to keep up appearances.
It was soon after the final incident with Dio that you assisted Miss Pendleton in the medical care of Johnathan and Robert. You had pleaded with her to rest, but the woman insisted she work around the clock, taking care of her former intended, even to the point where she fainted. You were working on Speedwagon when you heard her stumble but not fall. You checked on them and saw that they were quite intimately acquainted. You hadn't felt romantic feelings for anyone before meeting Erina, but you suppressed your sapphic feelings for the sake of the friendship.
At their wedding, Speedwagon approached you with a deep blush. "Miss L/N, may I speak to you in private?" He led you to a private area in the garden and asked, "Will you marry me?"
You were taken aback; you had just met this man a few weeks ago and hadn't spent so much as an hour with him outside professional circumstances. "Sir, I appreciate your offer, but my heart belongs to another..." You looked away, daring not to say what you wanted to aloud.
"Miss Pendleton?" he lifted your eyes to his as he gauged your surprise.
"How did you?" you asked, him laughing lowly and childlike.
"You look at her the same way I look at Mr. Joestar." He smiled warmly, "I truly envy Erina. If only they hadn't met when they did, I might have a chance with him..."
You looked down, ashamed. You felt the same way, but felt guilty for wishing against Erina's happiness. You saw how she and Johnathan looked at each other. Though it pained your heart, you wished them a long and happy marriage.
That changed when Dio's minion attacked the ship they were honeymooning on, and it came to light that Johnathan had been killed. You couldn't help but think that your sinful wish had something to do with it, but when Erina came back with a female child and with one in her womb, you agreed to Speedwagon's proposal and took care of the young widow.
When Robert found oil in America, everything changed practically overnight. You had vast wealth you didn't know what to do with, and he went on to create the Speedwagon Foundation for medical research and to help the Joestar family. This meant that you had to accompany Robert to charity events, where you had overheard other women saying the most vile things about you such as "They've been married for a few years, but no children of their own? I'd be ashamed to show my face if I couldn't give my husband an heir!" you felt him and Erina squeeze your hands to steady you, and the desire to throttle the women subsided.
As the years passed, the children grew strong, Elizabeth under the dutiful tutelage of Straizo in the ways of Hamon, and George taking to his studies like a sponge. With the encouragement of Robert, and after the proper amount of time had passed, you confessed your feelings to Erina.
"I'm sorry, Y/N," she said with a sad smile on her face. "I value our friendship beyond words, but I do not share your romantic feelings." You held back the tears of rejection and retired to your room. You accepted the outcome, as you had prepared yourself years ago. You remained close friends.
A few times while you were at events for the Foundation, you whispered into Robert's ear, and at a glance, it looked like you were sharing intimate moments with him, like a good wife would. In reality, you were passing along gossip that you heard from the grapevine about the very same women who chastized you behind your back. Some of them had been having extra marital affairs with their house staff while their husbands were away, and the resulting children were sent away to orphanages that the Speedwagon Foundation ran. When a group of them were going on about how you failed to produce an heir to the Speedwagon Foundation, you gracefully replied, "I would, but I'm too busy raising your secret children so your husbands don't find out about your extracurricular activities while they're away." All the women blanched and scurried away.
When the trials of the Pillarmen were happening, you and Robert grew closer. You still had no romantic or sexual desire for him, but you enjoyed his company. The feeling was mutual, as every year since you were married, you both exchanged gifts as tokens of your bond. You two understood each other on a level that very few husbands and wives did-both had unrequited loves and found solace in each other. You knew when you married him that he'd never brutalize you or raise an unkind hand, and you would do your best to support him and the Joestar family as long as you could.
When Joseph grew into a young man with a wife and child of his own, it seemed that the bizarre adventures had stopped for now. The day you got the call that Erina was in her final days, you and your husband had turned grey and wrinkled. You both were by her bedside when she passed, along with her family that she sired. Little Holly held onto her father's hand, having heard the stories of her great-grandmother raising him. You bent down to her level and said, "Be good for your Papa. He needs you now." She nodded and promised she'd work hard to make his life easier.
The day came that you lost your only remaining friend. 1952 was a hard year for you, running the Speedwagon Foundation in your husband's place. Since you had no children, you had to delegate what would happen to your fortune after you had died. According to Robert's wishes, you placed the assets in various charities and ensured the Joestars would be well cared for for generations to come. You died in your sleep a few years after Robert, and you were pleased with your version of Heaven, surrounded by your friends.
Summary: You are the daughter of Crimson and the half-sister of Moxxie. All your life, you'd been pushed aside in favor of Moxxie to take over the family, but this time, you will MAKE Crimson see you.
CW: Swearing, violence, fighting, death of a character, domestic abuse.
You had always known you should be next in line to take over the family after Crimson, but he never saw it that way. You two had the same fiery temperament; you were trying to prove your worth to the family, other than being yet another daughter your father had to marry off in order to establish new alliances with other crime families.
Your mother was a succubus, which meant that you were somewhat taller than a normal imp, and you mirrored your father's actions by crushing everyone in your way. Your mother had abandoned you on Crimson's doorstep, and after a DNA test proved you were indeed his offspring, he did the bare minimum to interact with you as he cultivated his son, Moxxie, to take over the family when his time came.
At the age of 10, you saw Moxxie and his mother playing by the lake where your father used to dump bodies. You were jealous of his relationship with his mother, so when a moment came when they were playing hide and seek, and she was the seeker, you struck: quickly and quietly, you shoved her head into the water and held her there until she stopped moving. It was no more than a minute or so when you were roughly yanked off and thrown to the ground. Crimson was furious with you, and he took off his belt and beat you with it. "Perfect! Just perfect! Now what am I gonna do?!"
This was the most words he'd exchanged with you ever since you came into his house. He was surprised that even after the beating, you didn't shed a tear or cry out in pain. Something that chilled even him to the bone-you had no fear. You just took your punishment and awaited the next order of business. "Is that all, sir?"
He wasn't sure of what to say next, but he stammered, "I-I only took you in outta obligation! I woulda fed ya to the Hell Hounds if ya weren't my blood!" He shoved the newly dead female imp further into the water to cover up your crime, when a little Moxxie peeked his head from around the tree and came running up to Crimson for a hug. He wasn't in the mood to show affection, so he shoved his son off him and told both of you to get back to the house.
Later that night, the Underbosses called an emergency meeting with Crimson. Louie, his consigliere and best friend since childhood, spoke up, "Boss, we know it's unorthodox to have a female lead the family, but Y/N's more than capable of doing what needs to be done in order to keep business moving." he produced pictures of Moxxie's mother meeting with other crime families under suspicious circumstances. "Our sources say that the bitch was trying to get ya killed," his Underbosses nodded in agreement.
Crimson growled and slapped Louie across the face. "I let ya speak yer mind for too long, Louie. The next heir to the family HAS to be a boy who can legitimately carry on my legacy, and that's Moxxie." Breaking tradition by having only men carry on the family was preposterous; they'd be the laughing stock of the whole Greed Ring. "Sure, the kid's soft now, but with the right type of nurturing, he'll be a stone-cold killer like his old man in no time!"
Over the years, the whole family saw no change in Moxxie's demeanor; he was as yellow as a canary. The only thing he had ever gotten amazing at was handling a firearm. If he could shoot it, he could kill with it. But he'd sob like a little bitch after doing a job, so much so that his stupid ass got nabbed by the police. Crimson was cussing up a storm when he said, "Go bail your brother outta the slammer!" he shoved a briefcase full of money across his desk at you. You nodded and went to collect Moxxie, but the guard said that he'd broken out with his cellmate before they could finish the paperwork. When you reported back to him, he was so angry that he backhanded you, sending you crashing to the floor. "FIND HIM," he hissed. You only nodded and left for your car, where you could freely express your feelings.
"Damn it!" You beat the steering wheel, just barely missing the horn. "The only thing he has that I don't is a dick!" The family had some associates in the police force, so you instructed them to retrieve the footage of the breakout so you could identify who he left with. There was a single frame where you could see the other imp's face perfectly, so you had them cross-reference his face to their database. A hit came back as Blitzo, with the O crossed out with a singular slash.
You reported back to Crimson with "He's with an imp named Blitz, in the Pride Ring. He's an assassin with a pretty little country bumpkin for a wife." You produced pictures of all three imps with their dossiers. "Want me to go get him, Boss?" You had been explicitly told not to call Crimson any variation of "Father", only to speak when spoken to, and to try to find yourself a husband of at least some respectable standing. Then, Chazwick Thurman came along and swept you off your feet. He took you out on dates, made sure that people saw you together in public.
The thing that made you snap was when Crimson allowed Chaz to ask for Moxxie's hand in marriage. Apparently, they had dated when they were younger, and he was seeking a way into the family for financial gain. That you could care less about, but what broke the camel's back was that he'd bent the rules to allow such a union. Two men couldn't carry on his legacy with an heir, but just to keep the family name alive was too much. Louie saw your expression upon seeing Moxxie in a wedding dress and saw you reach for your gun hidden under your jacket. He steadied your hand with "Now's not the time, Y/N...everything will fall into place soon..."
A few months later, the mysterious Striker came to visit, to offer his services to Crimson. He had captured Blitz and Ozzy's main squeeze, then just as quickly, they escaped. You had been on a different assignment then, so when word traveled through the grapevine about Crimson's failure, the Underbosses came to you with their oath of loyalty to you. If you took over the family after the hostile takeover they were planning. You wholeheartedly agreed, even Louie having your back.
On the night it was to take place, it was a normal night at the house. You, Crimson, Louie, and a few Underbosses were sitting at the dinner table eating when Crimson started swaying and slurring his speech like he was drunk. What he didn't know was that someone had spiked his food with arsenic. Soon, the stomach pain was too much, and he vomited up his food. The chest pain was followed by shortness of breath and a sore throat. "What did you sons of bitches do to me?!"
You stepped forward and placed your heel on his throat. "Replacing you," you said in a sickeningly sweet voice, applying pressure to his neck. He hollered for his Underbosses to take you away, but when they all just looked down at him in disgust, he knew exactly what this was. When he was finally dead, you slipped the ring off his finger and placed it on your hand. You took your rightful place at the head of the table, and one by one, your Underbosses and Consigliere kissed your ring. Right then and there, you decided that leadership of the family would go to whoever was most fit, regardless of gender.
A few months later, you invited Moxxie and Millie to your house. Their reception was lukewarm, to put it plainly. They were reluctant to even come, but when they saw your name on the invitation instead of Crimson's, they obliged. Of course, Blitz was waiting outside, hiding in case they needed saving. Moxxie gulped and asked, "Why did you bring us here? Where's Dad?"
"Dead," you said plainly, "I'm head of the family now."
Moxxie didn't know how to process the news, but Millie put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "How? When?"
"Details don't matter," you put down your wine. "I called you here to apologize. I killed your mother years ago, and Crimson took the blame for it." Moxxie leaped up over the table, ready to strangle you. Your bodyguard (and boyfriend), Striker, raised his pistol to defend you, but you told him to stand down.
"You bitch!" his hands tightened around your neck, but you kept your cool. Your familiar demeanor reminded him of his father's, and he was so unsettled by it that he backed down and let you finish.
"I did that out of jealousy, and I know I was wrong for that. In order to make it right, I hereby promise that I or anyone under my employ will never again interfere with you, your family, your job, or your lives ever again. You never wanted this life anyway, so I'm releasing you." You waved your hand to dismiss them, and they quickly left.
When everyone else in the house was asleep, you and Striker were cuddled up in bed after an unusually soft and gentle love-making session when he asked, "Why'd ya let the little prick get so close, Babe? Ya had me worried for a second there!"
"I wronged him in the worst way possible." You passed him the communal cigarette, and he took a long drag. "It was the least I could do to let him say his peace before releasing him."
Striker nodded, one of his rules for his killings being not to let a kid see him kill their parent. "That was mighty kind of ya, Darlin'..." he hovered over you, kissing you deeply before giving you a naughty smirk with "Now, how about we get on to makin' some babies?"
A/N: Please, if you're experiencing intimate partner violence, seek help. Also, children are an OPTION, not a NECESSITY; this is just what was expected of married couples until the last fifty years or so.
Tags: @adeadcreator
The wedding was lovely, with all the expected trimmings and ceremony. Your husband, Richard, actually started crying when he saw you in your dress, anticipating spending the rest of his life as your husband and wife. Your long-time friend Erina and her intended Johnathan were in attendance, and she even cried happy tears for you, hoping that her and Johnathan's wedding would be just as beautiful.
The next natural thing was children, you had wanted at least three, and God willing, more if possible. You had gotten pregnant right away during the honeymoon, but after two months, the sharp pain in the womb expelled the child. You and Richard were devastated, but agreed to keep trying to have children. After two more miscarriages, Richard began taking to the drink and becoming violent with you.
When you began skipping afternoon tea with your friends, they grew worried and paid an unannounced visit. You tried sending them away, but they refused to leave until they saw you face-to-face. Even then, you stayed in the shadows until Erina pulled you into the light, and your shame was on full display. The bruises that dotted your skin were ghastly enough, but the hand-shaped ones around your wrists caused the most alarm. Erina brought her hand to her mouth and began to tremble with rage. "Has Richard been beating you?!"
Your silence gave her the answer, and she assured you that the situation would be taken care of. Later that night, she paid a visit to the Joestar Estate. When Johnathan noticed her tear-stained cheeks, he knew that something had gone awry and inquired about the matter. "Richard's been beating Y/N. I'm sure of it. When we visited her today, her entire body was covered in both healed and new injuries," she cried into Johnathan's coat. "If nothing is done, then I fear he'll kill her..." Johnathan gritted his teeth and stroked her hair; he, too, was quite fond of you for always being kind to everyone.
He asked around town about Richard's whereabouts, and he was currently in the Goat's Head Inn and Tavern. He had been there for the past week, giving Y/N some respite from his wrath. The Inn was on Ogre Street, but before the confrontation, he had to involve Speedwagon. In case things went south, he needed backup to pull him away from the fray. Richard was already drunk as a skunk when they came in, the innkeeper looking so over his behavior that he would have let them take the drunken man away. "Richard," Johnathan greeted coldly, "We have to talk about Y/N."
"Is the bitch finally dead?" he asked, Johnathan's jaw clenched, and he backhanded the other man so hard he fell off his stool. He roughly picked him up by the collar and dragged him into the street. "What's gotten up your arse?!"
"Y/N is one of the finest ladies I know, and a personal friend of my future wife. If you can't be kind to her, then you don't deserve to have her," he was ready to end this man's life, if need be.
"She's the most useless woman in history! She can't even stay pregnant long enough to give me a son! She'd be more use as a whore in Whitechapel!" This earned him a kick in the stomach. The blinding rage that Johnathan felt toward this man was nothing short of monstrous. Erina was right; if this man's wicked life continued, yours would be cut before God decided it was your time.
Speedwagon whistled, and a small army of Ogre Street thugs crawled out of the shadows. "Leave nothing left of this bastard," he instructed, "Not so much as a scrap of clothes, understand?" The thugs nodded in agreement, and it turns out that Richard would be a missing person who nobody missed at all. Speedwagon knew of you as well; you were a nurse working with Erina and treated his wounds. He was immensely grateful for your kind and gentle hands; perhaps if he were attracted to women, you could have avoided being at Richard's mercy.
A few months later, when Richard was declared legally dead, his estate and all his assets went to you. You always had that fear that he would return to reclaim his wealth, having endless nightmares with his hands around your throat and choking you until you were dead. The Joestars had invited you over for tea, and Johnathan noticed your hand was shaking while holding the cup. He looked over to Erina and nodded. He'd previously told her what he'd done, and she reached over to you to steady your hand, and she gently said, "You will never have to worry about Richard Hennings ever again. You can rest easy, Y/N" you began to weep in relief and they both held you for a long while, inviting you to stay with them for a few weeks until you felt comfortable being alone in your estate.
The whole wretched place held too many memories for you to stay peacefully-the love that once was there, then the pain of losing your babies, and finally being thrown down the stairs when Richard went into one of his rages. You put it up for sale and went travelling abroad with the proceeds. Richard had you in a cage of fear and despair, but now you were free, and damn it, you would enjoy it.
Summary: Alastor saved your life once in Hell, and you want to return the favor in any way possible.
CW: mild swearing. No romantic or sexual encounters at all. Alastor angst.
The day the Radio Demon saved you was the day that would change your afterlife. You were caught up in the extermination and he pulled you to safety. It wasn't out of concern, but he was overdue to make a deal for someone's soul. The deal was that he would save you from the extermination, and in return, you would have to travel to the human world to search for specific items for him. These items are a phonograph and a wax cylinder used for recording up to 4 minutes of audio from the 1880s. He didn't care how long it took you, as long as you got the required items.
You accepted his terms, and there was a glowing green chain around your waist. He gave you an Asmodian Crystal to facilitate this task, and when you got to the human world, you could feel a portion of his shadow attached to yours. It protected you from all sorts of circumstances, like people trying to mug you, accidents, and at one point from falling off a cliff.
You found the phonograph first, something simple you found at an antique shop that fits your requirements. You bought it back to Alastor, who was quite pleased with you. "Very good!" He praised you "But now this next item is a bit more specific: The wax cylinder has 'Mother's Jambalaya Recipe" written on the container" he patted your head and said " you may have a few days to rest at the Hotel, then you can start your journey to find the cylinder" he wasn't ever rough with you, he knew he didn't need to be.
When you departed, he gave you a starting point to look- either in a museum or a library's archives. You searched in Louisiana, but the search turned up nothing. You had to expand the net, so you went to major cities. Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, and even New York. After doing some research about the phonograph, you discovered that it was invented by Thomas Edison, and that there was a whole museum in Mount Pleasant, Texas dedicated to the phonograph. This is a private collection of artifacts that would most likely have what you were looking for.
Getting the cylinder was surprisingly easy- Alastor had seen through his shadow and manipulated the clerk into handing over the whole lot of cylinders the collection had. He was surprised to find that there was more than one cylinder in his mother's handwriting. One in particular stood out to him with the label "bedtime story". He'd been dead so long that he forgot how the story went. "Y/N, you've delivered more than I asked you to. Now I shall amend our deal so I will always protect you from the extermination, as long as it still happens" you nodded, excusing yourself from his presence. You figured that he wanted to listen in private. Whatever voice that came from the cylinder was never yours to listen to.
The sound of a motherly voice full of honey softly emitted from the phonograph "Once upon a time, there was a brave little mouse who would bring home food to his momma for her to cook. Momma Mouse didn't question where or how he got it, just how he wanted her to prepare it. He always shouted 'Jambalaya' at the top of his teeny little lungs. One day when the brave little mouse didn't return home, Momma Mouse was worried, so she went into town to look for him. She saw a group of rats trying to harass him, and she jumped in to save her baby. They returned home and the brave little mouse was crying. Momma Mouse assured him that even the bravest of creatures needed help sometimes. The end" by the time the recording was finished, he was a sobbing mess in his chair.
The memories came back to him, as a child, he would steal food from stores in town and bring them back for his mother to make jambalaya. One day he wasn't careful and was caught with his hand in the spice bin. The owner and a few of the customers came out and started beating him, when he heard his mother screaming for mercy. They turned their attention to her and beat her as well. By the time they got home, she cleaned his wounds and put him to bed, saying "don't you ever let nobody disrespect you again, baby..."
He took her words to heart, learning the ways of the world and adapting. Showing praise when it was necessary, and cruelty when it was warranted.
After listening to the rest of the cylinders, he called you up to his room where a candlelit dinner was waiting, soft jazz playing in the background. A plate of jambalaya sat before you, Alastor pulling out your chair and pushing it in when you sat down. "My mother's recipe" he explained " You've given me much more than I can repay, so I hereby liquidate our deal..." The green chain around your waist disappeared, and you felt free.
The food was amazing, like you really were in 1900s New Orleans, surrounded by a loving family. You had been alone all your life- orphaned at birth and aged out at 18. You tried to make it on your own for a few years, but your inexperience led you down the path of hard drugs and depression, eventually taking your own life and winding up in Hell. "If it's alright, can I stay at the hotel?" For the brief time you were there, Charlie made sure you were included in every activity and the demons were more hospitable than any human ever was.
Alastor smiled and said "Your soul is yours now, you can do whatever you want" he was secretly happy you decided to stay. Maybe one day he would let you listen to the recordings that you risked your afterlife to obtain, but it wouldn't be anytime soon.
Summary: Miranda Freeman is a small-time actress, but once Alastar hears about her talents, he's enchanted by her ability to blend in with the crowd. He has plans for her, and he'll use any means necessary to keep you close.
CW: Mentions of sickness, racism, sex, swearing, fighting (none of these will be in great detail)
A/N: I am fully aware that many of the fandom think of Alastor as asexual, but I honestly think that he'll sleep with anyone if he thinks it will benefit him in any way.
All actions will be written normally like this: Human Alastor's words "Will be written like this", demon Alastor's words "Will be written like this", Human Miranda's "words will be like this" and Mirage (demon Miranda's "words will be this".
NEW ORLEANS, 1933
The Emerald Theatre was at 75% capacity, just enough to keep the production in the black. Miranda only played minor roles, ones that don't require much talking, if at all. She played multiple roles in each show: from short, fat men to tall, thin women, and everything in between. There was one young man who caught her eye; he'd been sitting in the front row for the last few shows, never taking his eyes off her, always clad in various shades of red. Tonight, he had a bouquet of Forget-Me-Nots, her favorite flower. Surely those can't be for me... she thought as she acted out her character on stage.
When the scene was over, she quickly stripped off the costume and removed the make-up to become her next character. She had everything ready on her table, and her assistant was helping her into the next costume. She applied the fake nose she needed and blended it in seamlessly with the rest of her makeup. The finishing touch was that she needed to adjust her prosthetic legs to match the height of the character. She pulled the cranks to the desired height and gave herself one last check before her new character was to make their appearance. "Is there anything missing?"
Her assistant Joesephine shook her head, "No, Miss Freeman! You look like a whole new person!" With that, Miranda waited for her cue in the wings to get on stage. The man in red looked up at her in awe, whispered something to his companion next to him, as if they were thick as thieves. She thought nothing of it until a knock at the shared dressing room door came, and all chatter stopped when they all got a look at exactly WHO was on the other side. "Good evening, Miss Freeman," he said, presenting her with the Forget-Me-Nots. "You may recognize my voice from my radio program..."
Of course, she knew who Alastor was, but she was going to play it cool as a cucumber. "I've heard your voice a time or two", she said. "We have it as background noise in here while we're getting ready." The rest of the ladies let out soft gasps. She had the audacity to talk to him that way, and he let out a soft chuckle. "Then allow me to introduce myself, my dear," he kissed her hand. "I am Alastor, the humble radio host on the airways, always at your service..."
His informant had underestimted her skills as an actress, not that it was his fault. She had more than lived up to her reputation. The informant had told him that Miranda Freeman was incredible; the only thing that was holding her back was her abundance of melanin in her skin. She had a pleasant mahogany tone, with caramel-colored eyes and raven-black hair in the fingerwave style. The informant seemed infatuated with her, so he sang her praises as much as possible and was delighted that the famous radio host wanted to interview her on his show. She was about to swoon when she caught herself and asked, "To what do I owe the pleasure of your acquaintance, Alastor?"
"Right to the point," he remarked, "I like that. I'd like to discuss a business opportunity with you, but I'd like to invite you out to dinner after you've changed into your normal clothes. I have a standing reservation at the Chateau Geralt in the French Quarter for whenever I choose to dine there. We'll have absolute privacy, and nobody will bother us..." The rest of the girls were waiting in anticipation for your reply, some wondering why you weren't already whipping off your costume and makeup as you were talking to him. If any of them have the opportunity to get out of this crappy playhouse, they would be all over him without another thought. You smiled warmly and said, "I'll only be about ten minutes to clean myself up. If you don't mind waiting, I'll be more than happy to accompany you to dinner tonight."
"Splendid" he excused himself so the ladies could change without prying eyes. While he was waiting, he called ahead to the restaurant and told them that he would be dining with a female companion, and to please have his table ready. When Miranda came out, she was in a violet chiffon silhouette dress. Alastor was momentarily caught up in her glow, but he shook it off and said "You look divine, My Dear" he offered her his arm and she took it. What he didn't know was that this dress was borrowed, what she made working as a lower tiered actress in a small playhouse barely covered her rent. "Well, when the most famous radio host invites me to dine at the best restaurant in New Orleans, I have to look my best in order not to make him look foolish" she replied.
The restaurant was immaculate, not a speck of dirt to be seen or even a rat or cockroach. The best cuts of meat and chilled wine melted in her mouth. "Now, onto why I asked you here tonight, Miss Freeman. I want you to come on my show this Sunday for a five minute segment to talk about yourself. You intrigue me to no end, and it would help your Playhouse have full capacity every show, and in the future, all I ask for is one simple favor" he took her hand, his warmth calming her nerves and smiling as she agreed.
When the day of the show came, his producers approached her all smiles. "Alastor has told us all about you! It's not often that he personally invites guests on his show! You both are a credit to your race!" She tried not to recoil at the non-compliment, and graciously accepted it, the most bitter pill to swallow of this era. From behind them, she could see Alastor's eyes ablaze with fury. His trademark smile never faltered as he gently took her aside and said, "My apologies for my producers...I'll have a talk with them later about insulting my personal guests..." She nodded, hoping that he wouldn't be too harsh on them.
The "On Air" light went on, and Alastor started, "Hello and welcome to Alastor's Hour, this is your host Alastor with a very special guest: Miss Miranda Freeman, a young actress from the Emerald Playhouse who has captivated me so much that I have purchased front row seats four times this month! She's such a versatile array of characters in such a way that if you didn't know it was her, you wouldn't know at all! Welcome, Miss Freeman. Please tell us about yourself! Where do you come from?"
"Thank you so much for inviting me, Alastor! I am twenty-five years old from Mobile, Alabama." She was nervous talking about herself, and he reached over and ran his thumb over her knuckles, a gesture that relaxed her nerves. "My family home is no longer standing. I lost my mother and brother to sickness when I was little, and my father ran off. I've been surviving on the kindness of strangers, and then when I was old enough to work, I was on my own."
"Oh, you poor dear..." he said with sympathy, " One parent dead, the other abandoned you when you needed him most..." he changed gears for his next question "Now, my listeners and I HAVE to know, how are you able to play many characters in a single show? From what I saw, you were a short, stout man; then you became a tall, slender woman." The corners of his lips curled up, reminding her of a mischievous cat, Alice in Wonderland.
"I have that ability thanks to the same sickness that took my mother and brother. I contracted Gangrene that took my legs as well, and thanks to a kind doctor, I was able to get experimental prosthetics that allow for a full range of motion in the joints and the feature to remain proportional as I grew. The original design was created by an inventor named Pendleton, and as technology advanced, it was further developed and modified by a scientist named Baxter. I can adjust my height as I see fit..." The sound of the cranks was caught by the microphone, and she stood up, eye to eye with Alastor. "It helps me to reach the top shelf for my spices when I'm making my jambalaya!"
This earned a roar of laughter from everyone in the studio, and definitely from the listeners at home. "Now, we're almost out of time, but just one more question- do you have a lucky fella in your life?" The question caught her off guard, but she answered honestly, "Not at the moment, but I'm hoping someone will pick up on what I'm laying down..." She gave him her best bedroom eyes, and he understood what she wanted.
"Well, that's all the time we have today, but please go see Miss Freeman at the Emerald Playhouse! They have shows on Saturday evenings at 7pm! She's the real hidden gem of the show! This is your friend, Alastor signing off. Goodbye and Goodnight, my friends" the "On Air" sign clicked off, and the all clear to speak freely was given. "Thank you so much Miss Freeman, for coming on my show! It'll help both of us in the future!"
For the next few weeks, the auditorium had standing-room-only conditions. There were demands to make Miranda Freeman the female lead, but at first, the producers refused. Then, after a whole month of empty seats, they caved and replaced the name on the marquee. Standing-room-only again, and so much money coming in, the owner could afford to renovate the building to accommodate more people. The best part of the new turn of events was that Alastor had invited her to live with him and be his girlfriend. During the day, he lavished her with gifts and affection, and at night, he ravaged her in the bedroom. He had pulled out a desire for carnal pleasure she didn't know she had, and she thrived in his world. A few weeks after moving in, he sat her down and asked, "Do you remember that one simple favor I asked you for when we met?" She nodded nervously, knowing this day was coming. "I seem to have been double-booked on a few days, engagements that my producers promised people I'd be at that I can't miss. All I ask of you is to use your acting skills and stand in for me at a few of the events."
It seemed like a simple enough request-his job did require him to be away for extended periods of time, and she figured he felt guilty that he was neglecting her when he wasn't around. "Anything to help you, Baby..." she kissed his cheek and asked, "What days do you need me to play hooky from the Playhouse?" He smiled, giving her a tender kiss before fiddling with her undergarments. "Thank you, Dearest..."
On the necessary days, she called the Playhouse, pretending to be sick, and told her understudy to get ready to go on. He helped her into his clothes and put on makeup that made her look exactly like him. Together, they adjusted her prosthetics to about his height and took one final look before leaving for their respective outings. That woman is so useful that it's almost a shame to lead her on like this...he thought as he was stalking his producers. He hadn't gotten the chance to have his little "talk" with them about their disrespect for his guest, so now was the perfect time to strike. He made quick work of them and dragged them to his cabin in the bayou to attempt another ritual. This time, he did manage to get to someone on the other side, who promised that he would be the most powerful sinner in Hell, but the price wasn't specified at the time. He foolishly made the deal, and his fate was sealed.
The very next day, she was walking with him to the Emerald when a drunkard made a pass at her right in front of her boyfriend. She tried to politely turn him down, but he roughly grabbed her wrist and tried to force a kiss on her. Alastor began to scuffle with the man, and both of them accidentally knocked her onto the street, where a Ford model BB truck transporting a massive mirror swerved to avoid her, causing its load to break against the truck bed and shower glass all over her. When the dust settled, she stood up, and everyone was staring at her in horror. Her abdomen felt burning hot, while the rest of her body was turning cold. Even Alastor couldn't look away from the glass shard stuck in her belly, the injury having pierced her organs, and she was bleeding out quickly. He caught her as she fell, and right before she died, she was actually afraid of him-the face she was seeing wasn't his, but that of a demon. Alastor, of course, was angrier that his alibi was gone, but he had to act the part of the distraught man who just watched his lover die horribly. "DAMN YOU!" he cursed the man, having to be held back by other men in the crowd. "MURDERER!"
The man was booked in a holding cell while waiting to be processed for trial, but Alastor couldn't wait that long for revenge. After he stole the man, he dragged him to his cabin, saying, "You've robbed me of my perfect alibi, you cretin. I wanted to have a little more time with her, to make her fall even more in love with me than she already was, but you ruined everything. Now I have to come up with a new plan..." He slit the man's throat, watching the life leave his eyes and taking in the very thing he desired most from his kills- the look of despair. He sighed as he knew that he had to hastily hide the body now, this unplanned kill. He was dragging the dead weight through the swamp when he heard the last two sounds of his mortal life-a barking hound, and a single gunshot.
She wondered why she was in Hell; she hadn't done anything all that bad in her life. When she looked into the pool of truth, she was horrified that the man she loved used her as a tool to commit heinous crimes. She now knew that he never loved her back, that he was just using her to make himself appear in two places at once. "Th-that bastard!" At her new appearance, she recoiled-she looked like a fish woman. She had scales made of glass, and her hair had turned a dirty pink color; her teeth were now yellow and sharp. This man had played her like a cheap banjo, and even more humiliating, she let him. He'd condemned her to Hell, and she would make him pay.
She had to wait a few decades, but a new, even more ambitious demon made himself known. Vox was every bit as charming and charismatic as Alastor was, but she had to wait for them to plant the seed of resentment towards each other and for Vox to build up his company. She could see that his ego was as big as the sky, so she would stroke it like the hardest dick in all of Hell. Over the years, she learned that she had a power unique to her, and one that was hers alone-she could change her appearance at will, as long as she knew what the person looked like. She scheduled a meeting with Vox, and she said, "Thank you for meeting me, Vox. I know you're a busy man, so I'll just cut the bullshit here and now: we have a common enemy" the scales on her skin shifted and soon, Alastor was standing before him. She smiled just like Alastor did, knowing she had his undivided attention. "I think we'll be good for each other, and even for the other Vees as well..."
When Vox finally regained his composure, he laughed, starting low then crescendoing until he had tears in his eyes. At first, she thought he was laughing at her, and she was partly right. "So a woman needs a man to help her get the job done? I can see how you can be useful to the Vees, too, Sweetheart. What's your name?"
