time to kvetch

Kvetching, comics, cooking, and some more kvetching

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(via God Didn't Say What's Kosher on Mars)

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Mama-To-Be Mishigas

I recently read a blog post that had gone viral listing “things not to do or say to a pregnant woman.” While some of them were understandable (asking if something is wrong with the baby because your belly is so small), others just reeked of personal issues. This woman was gutted by remarks on how large her pregnant belly was—making her feel fat and undesirable. As my belly grows, I will assume that others understand, that it is expanding to fit a baby. Not cheeseburgers. When someone says, “Wow, you’re only seven months? Your belly is so big already!” I will hear, “Wow, you’ve got one healthy baby in there.” I will beam with pride over my heavyweight baby…and then I will ask you to get me a snack or give up your seat.

I’m not trying to disqualify this woman’s feelings, or anyone else who feels the same way for that matter, because I understand we all have our own mishigas. As I crawled my way to the end of the first trimester, my mother met me at the finish line with, “You had an easy first trimester.”

Yes, I had managed to only vomit a few times, but I spent a solid four weeks balancing on the precipice of  “Can I keep it down? No, it’s about to come up. Wait, I think I can keep it down.” 24/7. No relief, ever. My nights mostly consisted of sitting upright in bed willing myself to not vomit, a form of meditation I have perfected since a vomit phobia blossomed in my teenaged years. I often wondered if I just sat myself in front of the toilet and let myself hurl away if I would feel better. I decided it wasn’t a worthwhile experiment. Meals (ha! and gag) consisted of a few crackers and bites of banana. I couldn’t move. The fatigue and weakness felt like a fat man had enveloped me in a bear hug and refused to let go. 

So, yes, some women have it easier and some women have it worse. Some women have the vomits, but feel somewhat functional otherwise and can continue, for the most part, doing every-day activities. Others feel slightly nauseas but can continue to eat. It seems in every pregnancy blog or book we read that “Every pregnancy is different,” but do women truly take that to heart? I found myself trolling forums to see if anyone else felt as shitty as I did, and was horrified to see a woman telling other expectant mothers to “toughen up and get to work.” Holy hell.

My mother’s comment came right as I hit my thirteenth week and felt as though I was coming alive again. Food began to look a bit more appealing (except red meat, which really pissed me off) and I was able to sit up or stand for more than ten minutes at a time. I did it! I survived the first trimester. I had crawled out of what felt like never-ending misery. I was as proud of myself as if I had run the Boston marathon, but instead of a medal or even a pat on the back, I got, “You had it easy.”

So, go ahead and tell me how large and in-charge my belly is, tell me I look like Veruca Salt, but for the love of god, don’t make me feel like a wuss. 

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That Kind of Girl

Originally featured on pregnantchicken.com

“Oh, you want to have kids?” My friend asked me, a hint of surprise in her voice. This question stung me, but I realized that I’ve never been that girl. You know, the girl who whines about her baby dreams and whether or not it will ever happen. The girl who cries over onesies and small baby shoes (that will never actually get walked on, so I’ve never quite understood them…I mean really, you may as well throw on a pair of tiny roller blades).

I assumed that I was missing that gene, or as my friend’s question continued to sting me, I wondered if I simply came off as a cold person. The heartless wench that makes babies scream once they are placed in my arms. Of course I think babies are adorable, but I’ve never had a problem noting their cuteness and then walking away to go stew in my own selfish problems. Problems like, should I have meat again for dinner? Or, when should I go get the pedicure I so desperately (yes, desperately) need?

I was my mother’s first “accident,” my brother was planned, and my sister was the second and final “accident” at the age of forty-one. We lived in a one-bedroom apartment in NYC and when my mother announced the arrival of my sister, my teenaged angst boiled over. “Where are we going to put her?!” I squealed. From there on out, babies became things that showed up without invitation and were met with an “oh, crap.” There was no romanticizing these bundles of stress for me.  

Determined to have a different baby experience, my husband and I decided to stop being “safe” and just see what happens—our way of planning a pregnancy without too much pressure. Having a child is, by far, the biggest commitment you will ever make and I was almost too aware of this. I couldn’t understand how women got on the baby making train with such excitement and lack of terror. Did they realize that the outcome of this ride would last for the rest of their life? The thought of a baby made the word “forever” echo through my head à la The Sandlot. “You can’t just return it if you don’t like it,” I informed my husband. And furthermore, if I do love my baby, what if something happens to it? How could I handle that? Let me stop here for a second to point out that, yes, I know these are horrible, crazy thoughts, but I’m just being honest, so back off.

“The idea of having a baby is just so amazingly terrifying to me,” is the last thing I wrote in my journal before having two lines appear on my pregnancy test a few weeks later. Just call me Fertile Myrtle.

And here I am: ten weeks pregnant, feeling horribly sick, and crying over a viral video of a college band playing Rage Against the Machine. Yes, I am still terrified, but every now and then I find myself putting my hand to my belly to say hello. I think about how the baby will take after my husband, lanky and incredibly nerdy, and how much I will love that. I picture my parents with the baby and how happy they will be as first-time grandparents. Best of all, yesterday we heard the baby’s heart beat for the first time. Strangely enough, I’m starting to feel like that girl.

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Veggie Stir Fry's Secret Weapon

I made this on a whim--It was one of those nights that I was craving a super healthy dinner, but also wanted to get a little creative. Before I lose you, let me just say this. Salt. Yes, there is a salty, yet healthy, secret weapon here. Kale chips.

You can make your stir fry how you please. I used mushrooms, red and yellow pepper, and sliced cherry tomatoes. I added a dash of worcestershire and soy sauce and threw this on top of some white rice. Go ahead and use brown rice if you want to be better than me. 

The final touch, baked kale with sea salt. I sprinkled these yummy chips over the stir fry and it was so good. Not only does it add a nice hint of salt, but it also adds a great texture to the dish. All hail the kale.

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Captain America Lives On: Remembering Joe Simon - Bleeding Cool Comic Book, Movies and TV News and Rumors

By Megan Margulies On April 4, Marvel will release Captain America: The Winter Soldier. These movies are not only a cause for celebration by comic book fans,

My grandfather, Captain America.

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David Sedaris and Overhead Lights and Proof We are Soulmates

I'm one of the two fortunate employees at work who have been blessed with the windowless office. That's sarcasm.

While working at this University job for almost five years, I have seen visiting scholars come and go, spending their 2-hour work days in the glow of the sun streaming through their office windows. Each morning I scamper into my office like a nocturnal animal, turning on only a lamp or two. What is worse than a windowless office? A windowless office with the fluorescent lights scalding the life from your bare skin. It's terrible. I've gotten mixed reviews on my dimly lit office. 

"Your office is SO cozy!"

and

"You're always sitting in the dark."

Anyways, I just discovered that David Sedaris feels the same about overhead lighting. I knew we were meant to be. (If I were a man.)

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Kvetch and Stretch

If you're lucky enough to have your own office, and unlucky enough to feel sluggish during the afternoon hours, I highly recommend this website: Doyogawithme.com. You can filter the classes by type, class length, and level. This is also a great option when you want to move your body, but hate the idea of leaving your house because of weather or just pure laziness. I just closed my office door, pushed my desk back a bit, and enjoyed this goodie: http://www.doyogawithme.com/content/happy-hamstrings. My hamstrings are a bit happier now.

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Oh, Babs.

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Rekindle ‘Young Romance’ with these T-shirts and iPhone cases - Robot 6 @ Comic Book Resources

Although romance comics are a rarity nowadays, at least in the North American market, there was a time when they were a major force on newsstands, as superhero titles faded in the aftermath of World War II and gave way [...]

Joe Simon lives on! So honored to have Cigar Joe Design's featured at Comic Book Resources!

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J.K. Rowling's Plot Spreadsheet

This has been floating around for years. But after J.K. Rowling's recent comments about a mistake she made with Hermione's storyline, it's worth another look at how carefully she planned out the books.

I always love getting a sneak peak of how other writer's work. It's like unlocking some magical secret to the world of paid writing.

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She's all-natural? Think again.

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Sequential Crush is a blog devoted to preserving the memory of romance comic books and the creative teams that published them throughout the 1960s and 1970s.

Check it out! My guest post on Sequential Crush! If you love romance comics, stop wasting time and follow this blog!

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The Coolest Pancakes Ever

When I was a wee one, my dad made me these pancakes on the weekends. It was always a surprise to find out what was on my plate. It's a simple technique, but, I think, a special one. 

Pancake Batter

Two eggs

Two tablespoons of sugar

One tablespoon of melted butter

One cup of flour

Half a teaspoon of salt

One teaspoon of double acting baking powder

One cup of milk and ¼ cup of low-fat milk on the side

Begin by lightly beating eggs, sugar, and melted butter in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, combine your flour, salt, and baking powder. Slowly mix the dry ingredients into your egg mixture. Add your one cup of milk and stir until everything is combined. 

Now to make your pancake “paint.” Find yourself a cup or coffee mug for your ¼ cup of low-fat milk. Low-fat milk works best since we want your pancake paint to be a bit watery. Take a spoonful of your pancake batter and mix it into your mug of milk. 

Get a large frying pan, butter it up, and give it a good medium heat. You don’t want the pan to be too hot, or else it will be harder to work on your art. Take your pancake paint and use a spoon to draw whatever your heart desires. If you make a mistake, no problem: You can use your spatula to erase and start over.

Once you are finished painting, you want to let it cook for a minute to set. Take your pancake batter and cover your animal drawing completely.

Let your pancake cook until the sides start to bubble a little bit. On medium heat it should take about two minutes. Flip your pancake over and pat yourself on the back. 

[timetokvetch]

How to Trick Yourself at Dinnertime

I recently saw Forks Over Knives, and while it didn't make me say, "No more meat!" it did make me say, "A little less meat!" In an effort to give my body the proper fuel it needs, I always make sure to have a vegetable of some kind with whatever I make. Burgers? Throw some broccoli on the side. Chicken? Asparagus (aka stinky pee) or artichokes. But here's the problem: The go-to for purely vegetarian always seems to be pasta. It's easy enough to boil some penne and throw a jar of sauce over it. My goal tonight was to enjoy this pasta, but make sure there was some hearty and healthy eggplant (NOT fried and smothered in cheese). What I got was eggplant "meat"balls (eggplantballs?) that were pretty comparable to real meatballs. I'm not lying to you. 

Eggplant Balls (it just doesn't sound the same) Over Pasta

One large eggplant, peeled and diced

One small yellow onion, diced

Three cloves of garlic, minced

One tomato

One cup of breadcrumbs...I toasted 4 slices of wheat bread and then put them in a food processor

Salt, pepper, garlic powder, or whatever else your heart desires

Preheat oven to 375. Sautee onions for five minutes or until translucent. Add eggplant, garlic, and tomato and cook until eggplant is so soft it seems gooey when you stir everything. Put this all in a food processor, and vroom vroom until it starts to resemble raw meat: smooth with some chunks (yum?). Pour mixture into a mixing bowl and add the bread crumbs. Mix and mix. Now here's the important part: put it in the freezer for a good five minutes to cool down. The cooler the mixture, the easier it is to handle. Form your balls, put them on a baking sheet and cook for 30 minutes. Throw these puppies on your boring pasta and sauce and enjoy. 

[timetokvetch]

Chaos Cooking

Most people have the common kvetch of, "there's no food in this house!" But for me, it's one of my favorite dilemmas. It's a feeling I'll compare (dreamily) to being a contestant on Shop 'tlll You Drop. Challenges of the cheapo. If I've failed to go food shopping and find myself poking around the kitchen cabinets and freezer, I know that I'm in my element. 

Tonight I found some ground turkey in the freezer and the canned goods I stash away for these moments (lots 'o beans). I flipped open one of my favorite cookbooks, Smitten Kitchen, looked up turkey and found this gem: Sesame Turkey Meatballs Over Smashed Chickpea Salad. Of course, there are things that I did not have (hello, sumac) so I improvised and simplified.

Meatballs

Ground turkey (from the depths of my freezer)

Toasted slice of bread chopped up

One egg

salt, cayenne pepper

Toasted Sesame Seeds (got these a loooong time ago from a spice shop)

Mash this all up in a bowl, fry them in a cast iron pan until brown on all sides, and stick them in a preheated (400 degree) oven until cooked through. I'll let you make that call. As a side note, you will see that I am handling my hot cast-iron pan with my brand new oven glove that my husband just brought home for me. It's all about romance with that guy.

Chickpea Salad

Can of emergency chickpeas

Thinly sliced green olives stuffed with garlic from Trader Joes

Juice of one lemon

salt, cayenne pepper

olive oil

Mix all this together and take a fork to gently mash (hence the name). 

Once meatballs are done, throw them on top of the chickpeas and dig in. If you live with a loved one, do them a favor and leave the room once the farting begins. Enjoy.

[timetokvetch]

Happy, happy new year! May your 2014 be bright, crazy, and a little weird.

[timetokvetch]

Thinking about Daddy Joe...

Two years ago, on December 14, I lost one of my favorite people. My grandfather, Daddy Joe, was so many things. He was funny, smart, stubborn, had a healthy appetite, and was very bad at whispering. He was good at embarrassing me in public. He was a terrible cook. He loved to sing. He loved his cigars. He loved buying new printers and fax machines. He loved meeting fans and giving them a sketch to take home.

Daddy Joe was our family’s superhero. We all loved him immensely and could never imagine a world without him—he was our sun. No matter how many years go by, December 14 will always be a boulder to climb. I am thankful for the memories I have to look upon when I reach the other side.