Getting Tinier

WARNING: This might be triggering for some people, please view with caution. This is a safe place for me to vent my feelings, my thoughts and my most inner fears. I don't encourage ED's and I don't encourage starving or having extreme goals that will lead to health issues. But I need to be allowed a place to be honest about what I feel. I'm obese, as you can clearly see, and I need to lose weight. It's as simple as that. Please do not report this blog, please allow me a place to be myself and connect with others so I don't feel so alone. Don't starve yourselves, stay safe.   || HW: 343 lbs || CW: 275 lbs ||  || 1GW: 260 lbs || 2GW: 220 lbs || || 3GW: 180 lbs || UGW 132 lbs || Height 5'6. I also suffer from autism, depression, anxiety, PTSD, a general panic disorder and self-hatred.

[trouliboo]

[wanna-be-a-noodle]

I just learned in Biology today that actually if the blood gets over hydrated it will go into your blood cells and these will literally burst. So drink water yes, but be careful to not drink too much!

[a-ladyfat]

Trying not to freak out after a 270 calories lunch

[dreamingofthinandskinny]

you don’t have to be skinny to have an ed. you don’t have to restrict to have an ed. you don’t have to purge if you have an ed. you don’t have to count calories to have an ed. you don’t have to be white to have an ed. you don’t have to be female to have an ed. you don’t have to be an athlete to have an ed. you deserve to get better.

[b1rd-b0nes]

[tinyboxtimblr-blog]

Unasked for meanspo is beyond me.

Saw someone just ranting/venting about having gone over their limit and binging. And some fucking bitch out of nowhere, who had not been asked for her opinion, goes  "okay, you've messed up, you're now closer to being a fat cow than a thin swan - is this what you wanted? If so, continue doing it. Otherwise fast for 48 hours then stick with your daily limit or you are going to fail."

Who the fuck does that?! That’s such a shitty thing to do.

[wanna-be-a-noodle]

I’m not as cheerful as before when answering my asks…

[tinyboxtimblr-blog]

That’s okay, no one is forced to be cheerful all the time. <3

[slimmersolstice]

Spooky Scary ED Meme Skeletons

I use KakaoTalk and I found an emoticon pack with skeletons. This, of course, became the “Pro-Ana Emoticon Pack” and I made some memes:

[fuzzy-forensics]

OMFIFJSOFJS THIS IS SO FUNNY ESPECIALLY THE STANDING UP ONE AND THE DIET COKE ONE

[stickslimthin-deactivated201711]

Idk if i should laugh or what 😋

[trying-my-best-to-skinny]

ME

[thincherrys]

This IS EVERYTHING

[dreamingofthinandskinny]

celebrate the small victories

you lost half a pound in two weeks… great! you threw away the ice cream you had half of… look at that self control! you drank 12 cups of water today… goals! you ate 100 calories less than usual… amazing! you kept your binge somewhat small… i’m so proud of you!

[tinyboxtimblr-blog]

This is so important!

[skinnywhenimdead]

[tinyboxtimblr-blog]

NOT IF YOU’RE FIGHTING DEMONS BY MOONLIGHT MOTHER

[ithotyouknew2-deactivated201710]

Y'all gotta stop “educating” people with a tone that implies they’re stupid for not knowing the shit already. Condescending asses.

[thatfuglytrashcan-deactivated20]

I just wanna say that

Girls with dicks are still girls

Boys with vaginas are still boys

[tinyboxtimblr-blog]

I read this wrong first and was about to get so bitchy about it. Then I read it again and was like HELL FUCKING YES!

[skinnyminnieswasteland]

Daily reminder:

You won’t lose 100 lbs in a day. Losing .2 lbs is still losing.

[thinlypure]

Say it loud for the people in the back

[tinyboxtimblr-blog]

I’mma reblog again and quote Dr. Phil from a show where a woman was faking having cancer and said she’d lost 100 lbs in like 6 days: “You won’t lose 100 lbs in 6 days unless you’re cutting off body-parts.”

[skinnyminnieswasteland]

Daily reminder:

You won’t lose 100 lbs in a day. Losing .2 lbs is still losing.

[thinlypure]

Say it loud for the people in the back

[tinyboxtimblr-blog]

Don’t fucking dare tell me I’m not allowed to be honest about my mental health issues. If I’m not shoving it down your throat, then fuck off with your ridiculous opinions and logic as to why it’s bragging to not be ashamed of them.

[maallinen]

[adragonwithbalanceissues]

I think my least favorite Hetero Trope is when the girl eats a burger or whatever and the dude is like “Wow, I like a girl who can eat” like what the fuck did your last girlfriend do, photosynthesis?

[tinyboxtimblr-blog]

Please help me out, I don’t know what’s going on.

So I’ve been going strong for two weeks now, or a little over. I have had bad days food-wise, but I’ve made up for it by working out harder. Generally I’ve stayed below 800 cals a day, sometimes 1000, at most about 1500. But I weigh 125 kg (275 lbs) so if I on those same days burn at least half of what I’ve eaten, I should be losing, right?

I’ve also been drinking a lot of water, a lot of green tea, and I’ve done different types of workouts. Mainly walking/jogging and sit-ups, push-ups, squats, and those sort of things because since I’m so heavy even doing a 20 second plank has me like almost screaming because it’s so fucking difficult. So I feel like I need to sort out my cardio and my flexibility first before going to heavier stuff, especially since I’m so big. 

And I have gained weight. Gained. Not lost. I’ve gained about 3 kgs (6 lbs) and I can’t for the life of me understand why. My scale is not the problem, it’s brand new and my mum’s is showing the same numbers. I don’t feel any difference in clothing or strength or whatever.

It’s really discouraging, because while I know that muscle weighs more than fat bla-bla I also know that it does not take simply 2 weeks to replace that much fat with muscles so that I’d gain that much. It takes waaaay longer. It’s freaking me out, now I hate food, I want to never eat again, and I feel like a fatass that’s always going to be fat and no matter what I do I will never get down to a healthy weight.

I also weigh myself only in the morning before consuming anything and after well, toilet business. 

Help, what am I doing wrong? I feel like crying I’m so gross and disgusting.

(Ps. I have checked out my metabolism and all other medical reasons that could hinder a weight loss a few years ago and everything came back fine.)